That was beautiful. I don't think you ever lost your Mojo. Thank you for sharing with all of us who enjoy you so much.

Wow, you are an awesome writer. I can feel every iota of your angst, and your longing for your mojo. (Which, I might add, never left you. Click those ruby heels, Aunt Purl.)

I dont want to come off sounding like a perv but I wish I could help you get your Mojo back ( not with me ) crap I'm as old as thehills and twice as dusty like 30 with some experiance too If need be I can be your wing man you know that guy thats there to pick you up when you fall and shove you hard enough to get back in the game ie: to show you Mojo and how to handle its powers wisly my little friend

Your mojo was just ... dormant ... for a while. And after a couple years of feeling like I was about to wake from a bad dream, I came across the most wonderful man ... and 16 years later, he still is!
Your mojo will help you find whatever's right for you!

You are one tough cookie, hon. The mojo never left, it was just being quiet with you.

Your mojo is what's propelled you forward all these months and days and nights, propelled you to this place where you once again recognize it was there all along.

Now stand up straight and keep smiling. Making up for lost time is so much fun.

We become the women that tell them to keep a piece of themselves, just for themselves.

They may not seem to be listening, but it will be there, later, if needed, and they will know they are not alone. Not if they don't want to be.

"Success is not always about achievement. Sometimes it's about endurance."

i love that.

Your honesty, strength, insight, and eloquence are amazing and inspiring.

Your mojo will kick back in when you're ready, trust me here, I'm quite experienced with the X calling it quits, mine on the way home from picking me up from the airport, I was gone 12 hrs, thank you, and we were supposed to go to a movie.

Teaching hungover was too hard, so I stayed up late playing mindless games on Neopets instead. Fun on a stick.

Now I'm kinda seeing someone who's easy to hang out with. Mojo healing :).

mojo is a good thing. it's you. trust me, i understand the part about losing part of yourself when that ring slides on your finger. i was there twice. changed myself to suit him. and it didn't work, and it didn't help. now, this time (and yes, i'm doing it again), i've learned that i need to be my own woman, before i can properly love someone else. and he is his own man. and i've kept every bit of myself, and the ring too. it's possible. i'm not saying go for the first guy that smiles at you, but know that it's not hopeless. and you're not helpless.

you go, girl, and take your mojo with you.

Thanks for sharing. Looking up is a fantastic start. I plan to try it myself. Thanks.

beautiful

I've told you before and I'll tell you again--your writing is a gift. Your willingness to lay down your soul is refreshing. And I understand everything you've just said (minus the 'I do' part), since I'm in on 15 months now. Get ahold of Finding your own North Star. The new road is scary, but I have a feeling it will be far more fulfilling ultimately.

And it's amazing when sometimes, when you crawl back out, someone's there to see it.

Last Sunday, looking around church, always do. And this guy smiled. I think he likes me, because he didn't give me the acknowledging smile, but a full-fledged-almost-involved-all-the-way-to-the-ears smile.

I laughed and cried all the way home that afternoon. Then took a detour from home because I couldn't calm down and I didn't want to face an awkward situation.

It's not the same path, but we're walking forward.

And it's amazing when sometimes, when you crawl back out, someone's there to see it.

Last Sunday, looking around church, always do. And this guy smiled. I think he likes me, because he didn't give me the acknowledging smile, but a full-fledged-almost-involved-all-the-way-to-the-ears smile.

I laughed and cried all the way home that afternoon. Then took a detour from home because I couldn't calm down and I didn't want to face an awkward situation.

It's not the same path, but we're walking forward.

I just had to let you know how much your writing resonated with me. You have an amazing ability to articulate your feelings. and I know you will hear this a ton, but I for one appreciate knowing I'm not alone in feeling like this.

Laurie, that's a great post! I'm sure you're doing a lot better now! Hang in there, girl. Your mojo's coming back to you!

I don't know what to say, but I don't want to leave this page and read anything else.
A Toast! to mojo.

Sounds to me like you're turning the corner Purl. Good things will certainly be forthcoming.

"No one tells you the day you slide a ring on your finger that you need to hang on to you, keep a little piece just for yourself."
It should be a part of the girl's handbook, along with how to drink and not puke and how to say "no" and mean it. This was perhaps the best post ever, and so much MORE resonant to us because it gives us a peek into the "other" Purl (maybe the "real" one, who knows?).

With every one of these self awareness moments, with every baby step forward, you are that much closer to emerging the butterfly from your cocoon. You are such a strong beautiful woman, with so much love and warmth and LIFE inside (sitting there quietly, right next to the mojo!)

As always dear Laurie, your cheering section applauds you. Good for you!

Endure, heal, flourish. And for god's sake write a book. Wasting time is one thing, wasting talent is quite another.

Yeah - the one left is always the one who has to look the deepest. The departing one is always so long gone before his body dissappears around the corner it almost doesn't count. I'm sorry you were treated so badly. I'm glad to see that, inspite of the cigarettes and insomnia, you will treat yourself well - after all, you knit. Buy cashmere, hon. You deserve it.

You put into words exactly what I have felt since my ex told me that he was unhappy with our life one year ago this coming Valentine's Day. My world came undone and I am just now coming out of the fog of surviving and only recently have I understood that the simple act of survival is a triumph. Success is not achievement, it is endurance -- I want to never forget those words.

Excellent post. Your mojo has always been there. It was just waiting for you to be ready so slowly it will start making appearances. Good for you that your now looking up into the world. That is a big step. It will all start to come to you as you are ready for it. You have been through a major trauma and it's very normal for one to take the time to heal.

The mojo knows when it's time to reappear. Right now yours is starting to wake up, peaking at the clock, hitting the snooze button maybe, but starting to think about a new day. Before long it'll be stretching and sitting up and stumbling off in search of coffee and then Watch out World!!

It just takes as long as it takes. And I think being willing to raise your eyes for a smile and a "hello" is a great start.

Yesterday: hello moto
Today: hello mojo
Who knows what tomorrow will bring!

Oh boy, I actually felt like I was reading the beginning of an incredible novel. A novel that talks about the heartbreak of a stunningly beautiful woman, left by her good looking, yet, self-centered, egocentic, man.

The novel goes on to talk about how this stunningly beautiful woman after 2 years, is "discovered" by an rich, Italian, ex-pat living here in the states while setting up his company to go global. They ski in the Rockys, hike to the top of Mt. Whitney, and travel the world doing good deeds to those in need (in secret).

After two years of him wooing her, she gives in, believes him when he says, don't worry, I'll take care of you. 15 years, and two beautiful black haired, blue eyed babys later, they are more deeply in love than ever.

Oh yeah....Mr. Italian, bought Mrs. Stunning a large 5 carot (sp) canary yellow diamond, and a chalet in Aspen right on Ajax Mt. - ski in ski out don't ya know.

Don't worry, you never lost your "mojo". It just needs some dusting off and a bit of a polish and you are good to go.

Don't know you,(found your blog, and have been lurking) but I am thinking of you.
Mary-Kay

And also, you rock. :)

And here I thought the giant moth aliens residing on your patio were the reason you couldn't sleep *slaps forehead*.

Seriously, Purlfriend. You rock for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which is that you aren't afraid to let us see the 'not so pleasant side' of picking up the pieces.

I am a first time commenter on your site, but I have been blog stalking you for months. You are so creative and funny, even when things get rough. I really appreciate your willingness to let us know so much about your life- it inspires me to open up more. Thanks.

Upon 'nothing', my foot!

You, dear Purl, are everything. You touch more lives than you'll ever know, but most importantly, you're touching your own.

Thank you for sharing.

That was incredibly eloquent, and beautiful. I echo Julia. Write a book. Or at least a few articles. You do have a wonderful talent and you share it with us, and we are glad, but think about the book thing.

"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday." (anonymous)

You're getting there girlfriend... you just don't know it yet.

thank you laurie, you described exactly how i felt for the first year.
then i too looked up-but differently-i looked up and saw the world was full of people that loved my smile!
so simple-just my smile.
and then i wanted theirs.
and then i was back!

Your mojo is definitely asserting itself once again. And this Paris trip will be like your "getting your groooove back" trip. Or something. One day at a time :)

I read your entry and I cried. You are just such a wonderful person. Mr. Ex did not deserve you. He apparently was blind to your wonder. He's an idiot. I mean that with all do respect, of course.

Your mojo simply is awaiting repercolation. If that is even a word. Beautifully written. I believe that all the self-help books in the world still do not touch the Unwritten Big Book on Divorce, just like the one I'm not writing, the Unwritten Big Book on Marriage, in which you discover all these crazy ass things nobody ever told you went hand in glove with the noun.

Now, not to shamelessly say "read my blog", BUT, I do have a picture on my blog today of 15 skeins of Socks that Rock, and it looks like a knitting drug deal. Between the colors and the pile o' yarn, that will get any knitter's mojo waggling its eyebrows. Your other mojo is still sitting up in bed. I can't wait to read & watch it wake up & sassify your life. You're a great writer, and even if you don't see it sometimes, you are a strong woman, whose light will not be turned off.

Beautiful! Me too, divorced-ing as of July - I don't even remember what he told me over, breakfast? Lunch? I BEGGED him not to go...I said I would do ANYTHING. Oh, the pieces we give away...
I love you for your visibility. Thank you for living and sharing this with the world.

"No one tells you the day you slide a ring on your finger that you need to hang on to you, keep a little piece just for yourself."
Boy is that the truth. Because "yourself" is the first thing we lose".
Hang in there girl..you are doing great and we love you!!

That has to be a fabulous feeling, Laurie - knowing that something is not dead, but merely sleeping. Hibernating through your personal winter. Waiting for your personal spring.

Wow, that was beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.

the depth of your feelings...you do them poetic justice.

work the mojo, crazy, work it!

Sweetie, someone as generous, good-hearted, beautiful, and talented as you will never lose her mojo. It might take a little snooze now and then, but it'll always be back more resilient than ever! I agree that you should be writing books (lots and lots!)

That was so beautiful. It made me cry and hurt for you and I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a painful experience. In the end, you're a better, more mojoed-up babe than you were when you started.

You stay in the game. Love yourself and you will find that one special person who loves you, too.

Oh, my DEAR!

It took you a lot less time than it took me. But then, I suspect you started off with more Mojo than I ever had, and just forgot how to use it for a while.

Slow steps, but step more confidently now.

Beautiful, god love ya, Purl

It's in there.
Somewhere.

Thank you and your mojo. That was Something, really.
I'm gonna go look now.

Laurie -
Your writing just keeps getting and better. You're beautiful.

Your mojo is in hibernation and probably a little gun-shy. Trust me, mines just finally eeking out after over a year of hiding...And it's still not fully out there yet... But...Keep looking up and smiling and look cute and buy the new clothes and brush your hair and get happy! You didn't do anything wrong and you have no reason to feel anything but good about yourself. I just had an awakening this week - enjoy the process and live in the MOMENT (NOW)...the past is over and the future is yet unwritten - ENJOY IT!

Your mojo wasn't gone. It was just hiding.

Wow. Loved reading that. I can so relate. Four years ago, my husband of 26 years announced to me (while I was folding laundry, not eating spaghetti) that he was leaving me. Three hours later, he was gone, and I was in shock. Couldn't function for three months, slept on the couch til my son came home and pointed me to my room. It takes a while to get used to your new life. I just graduated from college three weeks ago, and have a life and a great career that I could never have imagined before this. Oh, yeah, I also have the respect and admiration of all five of my sons, which is more than my unemployed ex has now.

You are coming around girl! Your mojo is on it's way back. You are healing. You are just about there! I see it. I feel it. You ROCK!!!

That's something every girl should know -- don't give all of yourself away. You give a voice to all of us who have been there.

WOW Laurie- you are such a wonderful writer. I can feel exactly how you are feeling. I have been reading you for a long time now and I think you should definitely write a book about your experiences. You are WONDERFUL!!!!!
And you make me laugh so hard and cry so hard!!!!!Please keep writing.

Your mojo just needed to age (like a fine wine--we know a lot about that, right?). Experience, though harsh, can make your next experience in love--and there will be, you are too special--that much sweeter.

There's nothing wrong with simply enduring. Sometimes that's just the best you can do with what you've got.

But you are on your way, chicka. If you don't believe that, just look at your posts a year ago and compare them to those now.

Darling Laurie.... You poor darling.
And I mean that in a most compassionate manner. The tears are just rolling down my cheeks as I type. Did you never think that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!! It is him. What type of person would tell his wife over a plate of spaghetti that he was leaving??? after 8 years. Only one...an arsehole and a dirty unwashed one at that. Did he talk about it to you or was it just NO... that's it... end of subject!
You are such a talented, pretty, clever, compassionate, caring, responsible AND loveable [ I could go on & on] woman.
Think of those 8 years as the fun they were. He is having his midlife crisis and it is always soooooo much easier to blame the other person. What did he do with his life? Did he achieve very much?

Any way.. if it's any consolation I have put a hex on his left testicle. The little node should be able to be felt just about now!!!
Thank you for your very talented writing and I love your fabulous sense of humour and way with words....

I am sure glad I found you today... haven't been round in months, and I am so impressed with this good, honest writing about how tough it is to start over with yourself.... your mojo is going to be popping out all over this spring, you are ready to rebloom! I will be thinking lots of good thoughts, and hope you consider writing a novel someday.

This is the first time this 51 year old lady has ever posted on a blog....in fact I just started reading knitting blogs about 2 weeks ago. But I have to tell you Laurie that you are gorgeous and you will get your mojo back in a big way when your heart is ready. You are also an awesome writer and I am a major bookworm and ex-teacher so I know my stuff :-)
Cathy

Beautiful, Laurie. When you write about this, it brings back all the feelings I went through during my major life-shattering moment. As I reflect back, I realize that it took a LONG time, but I came through it stronger and better (and a helluva lot wiser!!).

Keep up the writing, Laurie. You have a real talent for making people feel not only what you are going through, but what they have inside themselves as well.

Liz

Confidence has always been tied to my successes, so a failure of such magnitude surely must mean I am worthless? Unloved. Unwanted. Ugly. (Nothing makes you feel uglier than goodbye.)

Thank you for putting that into words. That's exactly how I've felt these last few months.

Hmmmmm what can I say that hasn't already been said.

I love that Dellrayne put a hex on the left testicle.

He is a FOOL to have left someone so amazing, talented, bighearted, warm, generous, dear, and wise. Fool, I tell you. He walked out on the best thing that ever happened to him. Now you get to find the best thing that ever happened to you.

Mojo wasn't missing, just waiting in the wings until you needed it. You didn't need it before, but you are starting to need the Mojo.

Karma comes in many forms....having the Mojo show up when you are ready for it, is just another form of good karma.

Have fun in France with the newly returned Mojo. Can't wait to hear the stories.

Laurie,

Everything you have to say resonates so strongly with me. Except that I'm fresh off my breakup - it's only been a week, and today would have been our 9mo anniversary (I know it's not the same as an 8yr marriage, but he was my first love). It's good to see you making so much progress, and gives me hope for myself. Unfortunately, I'm still stuck in the why's and utter confusion of everything.

We women are strong for a reason. And that reason is that God gave us all the brains and logic.

I just wanted to agree with the previous posters, your mojo lies dormant. As for X, let's pray that HIS mojo shrivels up and falls off, ha HA! ;-)

I think you're an excellent writer, and if your mojo had left you, you wouldn't have it. Mojo is part of YOU. And you seem like a great person with a good heart, to me.

It is. And some day, it will surface again. It's worth the wait.

Your mojo is still there. The time alone is what you need to regroup, and to heal. I've been there myself. The mojo, it's just hiding. Taking a rest. It'll come back.

Please don't think of the last year and a half as wasted time. You have been strong....even if you don't realize it just yet. I haven't been through an actual divorce, but I have been through a completely unexpected breakup of a 5 year live-in relationship....so, I hear you, sister! : ) Your humor, compassion and good heart will see you through.

that comment listed under Mary Ellen is actually from me.

You made me cry... certainly keep writing. Keep writing through all of it. Rock on, crazy Aunt Purl, rock on.

(starting a chant) write a book...write a book...write a book...
your North Star is blazing bright, darlin'. Do it!!!

Laurie,

I so totally will you be my best friend love you!!I will be going through what you are going through soon enough. My boyfriend claims that he doesnt want to be married because he's already been married but the truth is that he doesnt wamt to mary and I not in a place where that is accebptable. So like I said its just a matter of time. I hiope I can handle things 1/2 as well as you have. Come yo Houston, TX in the spring a youll have a great time. We would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get the chabce to meet you, Chin up, make eye contact

I heart you! I always hated hearing people telling me that "you'll find someone someday". Hated it with a passion because I was inpatient. I have never been married. I can't imagine the heart ache. But coming from someone who once felt very alone in her apartment alone with her cat, I know that it can happen if it is meant to be. (I even hate myself saying that). But what I'm trying to say is that life gets better. Sometimes that eye contact can lead somewhere sweet, it may take a couple from different people but it will happen. If it is any consolation, my boyfriend now was in a heart ache of a divorce and is doing better now...but it can take a couple tries to figure it out. You are a great person and I've only been reading you for a month. Best of wishes.

How fortunate am I that I googled a rolled brim hat pattern Thursday night and found your blog?!

I then proceeded to blog stalk just about every archived post. I feel compelled to graffiti a few thoughts about this mojo thang.

What if mojo isn't lost and doesn't lie dormant? What if mojo is your natural charm or appeal? Sometimes you're aware of the effects of your mojo and sometimes...not so much...but it's always there.

You have oozed mojo over a large population of dedicated Crazy Aunt Purl readers. And just think...that's just the group of people who have internet access, know about blogs, and happen upon your site. You have the potential to mojo an exponential compounded number of people so much greater than that.....but that involves math, so we'll move on.

I would hazard to guess there have been many suit-and-tie-guys (and others) who have smiled and said hello and it went unnoticed by you. I think it's your connection to and your awareness of your mojo that wasn't at the forefront of your conscious thought....you've been dealing with other things...dealing, not wasting time. It's part of healing.

Your mojo is your clever wit, your yarn sniffing predilection, your wine flushed cheeks, your photography antics, your frogging-ways..it's just so much! Your mojo has been in full swing attracting a circle of supportive bloggers, knitters, friends, too many Jennifers and a couple of cousin neighbors along the way. =-) (Yeah...stalking can be such an understatement.)

BTW, Tink L'Rup isn't my real name, but it could be my porn name....dammit! I wasn't going to mention porn!!!!!!

~

Do men lose themselves like women do when they slip that ring on their finger? After my ex- and I split up, I went back to school and regained my self-respect and self-esteem while raising our two sons, and after graduating five years later, I met a wonderful man and we married, but, once again, after slipping that ring on, I have lost myself to "us." I want my mojo and my marriage, but I'm not sure how to do that. Even though I have a wonderful man in my life, sometimes, I still miss my single life when it was just me against the world, and all that was accomplished was mine to be proud of. If you figure out how to have a successful relationship and keep your mojo, please let me know.

You are wonderful, sweet Laurie. Thank you for sharing these things.

I recently "fell" upon your blog. It's inspirational...I have been where you are now...and it's amazing what comes next. Your sense of humor is what will propel you to bigger and better things.

It's trite and corny and true: it's not about someone else loving you, it's about you loving you. And you do.

I'm gonna remember that line about endurance -- because I'm 24 years married and we carpool to work together just so we can talk to each other (well, and to be ever so slightly greenish), but I do some enduring of my own all the same.

Laurie,
Your last entry finally encouraged me to write, after lurking at your blog for a while. Your grieving through your divorce has been so raw and honest. Through my own grief (not from divorce, but sudden death of my father) I learned that there truly are things that are worthy of your sadness. The least you owed yourself and your memories, your feelings, your history, was to truly feel and ackowledge those feelings. And of course you were alone. There is nothing like being out a party and you are sitting there, an open wound of sadness and pain.

Good for you for not apologizing for your grief or altering its form or duration. Mr. Ex. (grrrr!) has his way, and you have yours, and your mojo will, my friend, return.

Best of luck. I do truly enjoy your blog.
Liz K.

Whoa...Laurie...your writing takes me back. I was there too. I can so recognize myself in every word you write. Every sentance, every feeling, every word. All the sleepless nights, smoked cigarettes and drinks consumed in the dark wondering what the hell I was going to do with the rest of my life and how in the world had I gotten to this place. But you know what? You DO get your mojo back! One day, without even realizing it, you will wake up and you will look around and notice that things seem brighter and that people are smiling at you and that you are standing taller. That is the day that you get the first inkling of an idea that you just might be ok and that you are making your way out of the dark. Before you know it, you are going to realize that you love yourself again. And that you ARE ok, and that HE was the one who made a huge mistake and boy is he gonna be sorry someday hahahaha! Just look at me now big boy!

Wow. Thanks Laurie. You said it all.

Wow.

You need to write a book, honest.

I have been reading your blog for the past month and I'm awed by your sense of humour throughout the entire thing.

Keep on blogging.

Wow, reading this makes me revisit those horrible years when I truly felt like I lost the ONE love of my life, the cigarettes, the bottles of wine, the waking up every morning at 4:30 in the morning, (why 4:30? I have no idea, but it was like clockwork...) and then the telling of the story to everyone I came across, doctors, storeclerks, strangers, anyone who came within earshot. You really know who your true friends are when they can hear the same story for the thousandth time (literally!!) and they come up with new advice. I remember wondering how many years is this going to take me to get over? I waited past the first, and the second, and the THIRD, and it finally took almost 4 and half years to get over the grief fully. So don't think you are weird when everyone else gets over it in 2 years - I think people get over it according to their own inner clock. Of course, he had to call me when he was getting married again, almost 5 years later, to announce to me that he had found the love of his life. Well, during our conversation I realized what a pompous conceited jerk he truly was. My mojo went away too. I went from the kind of girl that had men vying to buy her cocktails to mournfully watching Oxygen movies on a Saturday night ... alone ... Mojo takes awhile to come back, but it does. I eventually remarried too, and to a really great guy, and the whole experience taught me to NOT lose myself or my mojo ever again! It doesn't mean being guarded and overprotective of ourselves, it just means keeping that ME instead of US being fed. Anyway, my best friend Kelly and I always talk about surfing the karmic wave, and sometimes you fall off the surfboard, and have to get back on, and sometimes you have to ride out the calm bits where you don't have any waves, but eventually there will come a time when you have some awesome waves that come by, and you want to make sure your board is waxed and you are ready to ride!! Good blogging.

I hate posting comments that are essentially "ditto!" to everyone elses. I think you are a funny bright and lovely woman and you have come so far in the last year and a half. So inspiring and strong.

And just to make my comment different - here is a recipe for Cheese Risotto balls :)

Recipe for Fried Risotto Balls:

2 boxes of risotto
fresh wild mushrooms (shitake, oyster, portabello - cut into small pieces)
2 cloves fresh garlic
2 heaping table spoons shaved parmesean
1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs
vegetable oil
1 tblspn olive oil

Saute 2 cloves (pressed) garlic in olive oil until just starting to turn golden, and add mushrooms and saute until mushrooms are cooked. Set aside and prepare risotto according to box directions, add cooked mushrooms and garlic when you add the packaged spices. Add parmesean and stir to melt. Remove from heat and allow to cool 2-3 hours.

Scoop out risotto and shape into balls between your palms and roll in the bread crumbs. Fry in very hot vegetable oil until golden and set on paper towels to drain excess oil. Sprinkle a bit of parmesean on top of balls and serve warm.

Ok, so I'm sitting here listening to a newly downloaded Tori Amos song (one from a movie that was never available before, but is now, in the internets) and I have tears streaming.down.my.face. Not sobbing, but you know, those kind of tears that just go and you watch them go and are like "oh, hey guys, where'r you...oh, ok...have fun...don't be out too late!"

You know what kills me about this, about you - I was almost him. I almost walked away from the most amazing thing I've ever known for my own stupid, selfish reasons. I've tried mightily over the past 10 (this July) years to fuck it up royally - more detail in email, if'n you want - but I think that there was some sort of web or string or ounce of common sense that I couldn't root out with low self-esteem that kept me with him.

But you - you just amaze me.

"putting on my make-up
so you won't see
underneath the weight of it
underneath it all
i'm with you here" - 'me and you' - lyrics by eric rosse, performed by tori amos

remind me to send you the mp3...

i could probably type way too much here.

you are awesome!! what beautiful post. i am a lurker who can sort of relate to your story. it is hard to explain, but i am very touched by your journey. keep on moving forward!!!

Failure. Ahh, tell me about it. Now that the divorce papers are filed, I can FINALLY talk to people about how I stayed in a loveless marriage, where he didn't talk to me, didn't want to be with me, and slowly sucked my self-esteem dry. But you know what? I decided it wasn't my failure....it WAS if I stayed, but if I pulled my confidence that I knew was in me, that was always part of my successes out, I woulc do it. And I have. And sweetie, you've got PLENTY of mojo. It'll come out when you are ready!

Hey Laurie

Don't rush the mojo. Rest assured, it's still there. Just takin' it easy for a while, maybe it's even in "defensive" mode. But it's there. It's what makes you YOU.

And it's a known fact that mojo grows faster when you add wine. ;-)

Yet another beautiful entry. Mojo, indeed.

That was a beautiful essay. The sentiments were well-said and so evocative! I absolutely love your writing, Laurie! And yes....you have NEVER lost your mojo.....you just needed to take care of some things first.....

Imagine how that guy in Flower Street felt: He's been crossing that way every day for goodness knows how long, and every now and then he sees the girl, the cute one. But today she looked right at him and SMILED and said, "Hi." She's blond and pretty with sparkling eyes and a really great smile...

Can you imagine the force of all that bottled-up mojo pointed at that one lucky guy?

Thanks for expressing your feelings so incredibly well. As others have said, you have a gift for articulating your feelings. It's not easy for most of us to do. But it helps so much to be able to read it and connect with it. Thanks, and I hope writing it helped you, too.

Have been lurking on your blog for a few weeks, so I also just wanted to say hi, and I enjoy your blog!

I's amazing what a job someone can do on your mojo and how long it takes to remember where you put it. I'm just getting mine back too and it's a wonderful powerful thing. Hugs to you for shareing!

S

No one tells you the day you slide a ring on your finger that you need to hang on to you, keep a little piece just for yourself.

But you just told all your readers. PAY ATTENTION all you 20 and 30 somethings. Better to learn it sooner than later. (I was married 16 years before... well, the MESS.) And it wasn't even so much about being left as having my naive expectations turn into betrayal. BETRAYAL OF TRUST was what nearly killed me. Your mojo isn't moribund or dead... just lurking. It'll be back soon. Keep looking up! How about a trip to Pasadena for a mojito at Mijares? Or the Norton Simon to sktech and sit (maybe even knit) quietly in the garden.... not as crowded as the Huntington Library. Best wishes.

Laurie--

Keep your head up! The mojo knows when to pop back out. I love reading every day - know that you make the world smile and keep smiling yourself!

Now go give Roy, Bob, Soba, and Frankie big kisses. Kitties always make you feel better :)

yay purlie yay! go mojo go! do yo'thang in france as your newly minted moto mojo so-and-so self. the poor 'hommes' won't know what to do with themselves.

then you can return home to the sublime sprawl of l.a. and work your new foxy frenchness on the hapless male masses. magnifique!

As soon as you get ready to go past hello, there will be TONS of people willing to go there with you!
I haven't been reading long, but I can tell that you are hilarious and very interesting (which are great companion qualities by the way). And from the pics you've posted you look super cute, so I think you'll have them lined up.
Keep your head up (literally) and you might be suprised how many people will smile and tell you hello.

You're the Major Mojo Knitter!

Hey, you never lost your mojo. You are just waiting to use it...selectively...when you are ready. It's always gonna be there, Purl...don't buy into that "use it or lose it" crap. As Janis Joplin said, "Don't compromise yourself...you're all you've got." It may have taken BOTH of use a divorce to figure that out, but man...the liberation it brings is amazing. You're gonna be more than fine, sweetie...watch out, Paris! Here comes Purl and her girls!

Laurie, you're writing is, as always, really brilliant.

I wonder if maybe it's a planetary thing--you and I happen to share a birthday, and strangely, after about a year and a half of crap-o-la, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel as well. (maybe just a strange coincidence...)

Anyway, your words captured the feeling exactly. Feeling bad (mad+sad) and knowing its totally justified, but, not wanting to feel it at all--and then, months later, just starting to have permission to NOT feel bad. So weird. Endurance is exactly the word.

Much love,
me

Wow. Here by way of tiff, who gushed over you enough to make me click the link. Beautifully, beautifully written...

Have you been crawling around in my head? Thanks for pulling out the strands of your all-night thoughts and knitting them into such a cohesive and well put garment.

"Who were you before you put yourself last?"

You write about these things better than anyone I've ever seen. Thanks for your honesty... you might not feel it, but I think you're so courageous. (And me? I'm a regular cheese factory over here.)

great post. thanks for sharing. you're on your way up and out. congrats!

What a gift. I would like to get down on my knees and beg god for the writing talent you have.

I have never been divorced, but I have been taking care of an ill father for 9 years.

Success isnt always achievement, sometimes it is about endurance was just exactly what I needed to hear right now. You touch a tremdous number of lives. I hope that you know that.

Some of us give up. But not our Laurie.

I'm 27, and I'm finished. Will probably get married for convenience to my business partner. Will collect stocks, degrees, and real estate. Will grow up, grow old, and may a succession of cats see me through. I will never believe in love for myself, but I believe in it for you.

Crap, the head's starting to clog up.

Keep believing. I'll keep holding a torch for you.

You have an AMAZING gift as a writer and simply MUST write a book someday. I'd be one of the first to buy it.

My divorce was final in September 2004. We were married for 22 years. The first year hurts like hell, and then it gets better. A LOT better. I can promise you that.

Thank you for sharing your life with us.

Mr. Mojo Risin'.....

Ok I'm probably going to get lost in all these comments but what you said is how I live my life at times, success isnt always abt achievement, sometimes its abt endurance. No truer words spoken.
Lynn/Orlando

That was, by far, the best post I've read by you. Just beautiful.

My boyfriend broke up with my yesterday after we took a week's vacation together. We only went out for six months but so far he's been the love of my life. So our situations are different but I'm sitting here crying at my desk at work and rereading your post because I need something to hold onto right now. Thank you for that.

You've put into words exactly how I felt after my divorce.
Thank you for writing this.