Wow! I'm the first?! Girl, you're a hoot. Glad you re-did the scarf.

Love the slitty-eyed cat look that says, "You have the camera out again?"

Woohoo, I'm first!!!...maybe... anyway, jsut wanted to say you're sooo gonna have a blast in Paris and I can't wait to see the picts. Have a great week!

LMAO!!

I'm dying over the Healthism. Because that's me. Gradual changes? No, thanks. I'd rather change EVERY SINGLE THING IN MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE AT ONCE. Which includes consuming enough fruits and vegetables over the last two days that I usually have in an entire year.

My stomach? Is Not Pleased. Some might say it is rebelling.

JONNA!! I am the same way. I am either drinking a bottle of cabernet and eating cheetos for dinner or I am THE HEALTHIEST PERSON ALIVE. I figure it all balances out in the end. heh.

I take organic very seriously. Some would say I am maybe "crazy."

Ok, I lied, I wasn't first. :o( Oh well, life goes on. Oh and I totally get the Healthism thing. It's like I go on these kicks where I'm only gonna consumer 20-40g of Fat a day, or I'm only drinking water for an entire week, or I'm gonna try the slimfast thing (ewwww, I change my mind on that one.) Anyway, just go with it, but try to pick something up that will stay with you yah know. (My latest is the water drinking thing, no so much ONLY drink water, but drink MORE water since my daily consumption usually is 0-nill.) :o) Oh if you're interested and live or work anywhere near this place, I've heard its pretty good AND healthy...Real Food Daily 414 N. La Cienega, Los Angeles, CA 90048 Tel: 310-289-9910

Alright so I jsut realized I may seem a little weee bit crazy with the "only drink water for an entire week" statement... what I MEANT to say was instead of drinking pop, alcohol, and other not so great for you beverages, I would drink just water. Not that it would be the only thing I consumed all week... yah uh, crazy much?! :oP

Too funny you are. I feel like this when I'm standing next to my best friend. She's like a size 2 and 5'nothing and I'm like Godzilla woman at 5'8" and all muscular and football-playerish.

I so understand where you're coming from.
Many many many of my friends are all slender and athletic.... and then theres me.

Some people have the body of an athelete ... I have the body of a reader. A slow reader.

I like your shirt! Does that make me tacky? (Don't answer that.)

And if you really think you need larger friends...I could help you out with that. ;)

You've read her Mariahisms, right? http://www.mariahcarey.com/mariahcarey/allm/mariahisms.las She's batshit crazy, but tonight if I argue with my husband I'm going to cut him off with a BING BONG! and see how that goes.

Hey, I like your shirt, too. That particular shade makes ME look like a corpse. You, on the other hand, look rosy in it. I myself have plans to lose a pound or two or 15 before I have to bend over backwards to kiss the Blarney stone this June. Diet-and-exercising, lest I look "fat" while looking like an idiotic Amurrican tourist . . .

Yep, I am bigger than most of my friends...one boob vs. their whole body and it is all over!!!

Hope you feel better and get some color back in those cheeks!

Drink wine - you always get a nice rosy glow after a glass or so.

And I'm liking the funkadelic shirt. When you're sick, you're allowed a fashion lapse.

Hee... just yesterday, I was staring at my flu-affected self in the mirror (only when I'm sick do I lack the energy to run from the mirror) and the phrase "death on a cracker" flew thru my head. When I got to work, a colleague asked me how I was and for a split second I thought of saying "like death on a cracker." Until I realized that would have sounded sort of batshit, mumbled "fine," and spent the next half-hour staring into space, wondering about the origin of the phrase "death on a cracker." I think having the flu when it's 84 degrees in February has messed with my brain.

Have no fear - that shirt does great things for your eyes!

And if you get tired of being codeine-stoned (but why would you?), Delsym is the OTC wonder drug for coughs....

-Lynn in Tucson, where it is also EIGHTY DEGREES IN FEBRUARY. Ugh. A girl wants her wool out! Or something. ;-)

You can look on my blog in the next week or so and I will post up a bare list of the yarn stores in town should you wish to do any french perusing :) If you want suggestions or warning on any of the stores feel free to ask :)

will also try to put up a list of my favorite things in town... but I'll need more time on that one :)

I really hope you enjoy this trip!!!

I've been pretty blessed - the majority of my friends are fatter than me! Woo hoo! I feel like a svelte babe around them. Hey, maybe I should go to France with you and *you* will feel positively anorexic around me!

"What Not To Wear" has you on their schedule now with that shirt. You are so busted (and I'm not talking about BOOBS!)

You and I must be related...I don't look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow man...I look like the Michelin Man, but they must be cousins, 'cause we're both pasty white.

Scarf sounds lovely.

bob is soooo hot.

I like the shirt, doesn't look bad from here, and it brings the blue out in your eyes. However, I have to agree on the paleness.

I have been working on my Hubby to let me get a cat...and it's only cuz your kitty's put the kitty lust into me

Sorry for the tough love but if you think you are fat I think you need to borrow Mariah's snickers!!!

I actually like that shirt, too!

I thought Mariah had recovered from her exhaustion and returned to semi-normal? No? That would explain some of her recent outfit choices.

Mariah is NOT FAT. She's PHAT!!!! She's hot!!!!

I almost spit my Diet Coke out all over my computer screen when I saw the Stay Puff Man. Hilarious.

I like the shirt too!

I have a heart so full of love for you Aunt Purl. Just when I think you simply CANNOT get funnier, you bust out with the Stay Puff man. You are terrifically funny. Is Paris ready for so much living out loud?
Heartfelt thanks for making my day.

OMG!! My cousin owned the Stay-Puft doll when he was little. Hee -- I always thought it was such an odd toy.

Don't worry about the weight. When you get to Paris, you will instantly be consumed by the "French Paradox" where you can have all the wine and cheese you want and stay thin. It's like a law or something, even for tourists. I swear!

Aw, Laurie, I just want to fly out there bearing chicken soup, lentil soup, and beans and rice with cheese, Nature's three best comfort foods in my book.

I was all set to give you a whole harangue about liking your body the way it is, but 1) only a real jerk would harangue a sick person 2) your body is not my business. So I will get my New England yenta jollies by advising you to eat breakfast every day. It will improve your health and help with the weight thing.

STOP WATCHING OPRAH!!!! Seriously. I love her too, but my friend has not only gone crazy with Healthism (coming from me, that's bad.) BUT is now obsessed with Avian Flu. The girl works in the SICU around 600lb patients with huge drug-resistant wound infections oozing all over the place.

But what is her concern? The forking bird flu! We love Oprah, but she will make you go crazy. Except for the colon episode. That one is great.

You kill me!! I didn't know that you were having e-mail problems. I sent you an e-mail a few weeks back and just assumed that you were super busy swallowing vitamins and taking pictures of your cats.
Anyway, I volunteer to be your chubby friend.

Too funny! Yesterday it was Jennifers, today skinny girls. I fit both! My name is Trixie and I am carrying weight after two babies...count me in...if you want.

Nothing wrong with the shirt...OK, it's a little 80's but hey, it's a fashion statement, right?? And it DOES make your eyes look great!

Well, you don't look sick and pasty to me. But if you're aspiring to a real "DON'T," then you'll need that black rectangle over your eyes.

Many of my friends are runners, who are not only thinner than me, they're also way faster.

So how do I make myself feel better? Beer and chocolate.

Awww, feel better! Cause you really do look like crap! Sorry, just bein' real.
Mimi isn't fat. She got a great body for her age. She just needs to dress 'age appropriate'. Someone needs to tell her she'll still be super hot without her hoochie coo falling out. Maybe you could volunteer for that position?

I'm very happy to see you wearing some color! Woo hoo HOO!

And also, today I'm thinking about monkeys, tyvm! ;)

My friends make me feel fat, but the real offender is my hairdresser. She weighs about 90 pounds soaking wet, and she has a narrow face with high cheekbones. I, on the other hand, weigh, um, a lot more than that, and have a face like a dinner plate even during my skinny periods. So I'll be sitting in the chair trying to feel like I'm getting all beautiful, and my hair will be plastered to my head, and behind me there will be this tiny little thing, and my head will look bigger than she does. I hate it. I've actually considered switching hairdressers just to handle my insecurity, but she does the best color job.

Still not feeling well??? Man you need to get better soon, cause it is 80 degress outside & you know you could use that sun! Take Care.

Hey, Anne, I'll go one step further than your beer-and-chocolate method....beer with chocolate IN IT. Yes, I'm talking about Young's Double Chocolate Stout - available at a friendly Trader Joe's near you. It's awesome.

You definitely have to visit La Droguerie when you're in Paris (http://www.ladroguerie.com/). In addition to yarn, they have tons of accoutrements like cute buttons and ribbons and whatnots. I bought one of their baby knitting books when I was there (even though it's in French and I don't really need the added step of painstakingly translating my knitting patterns before I can use them) because the patterns were just irresistably cute. A knitted snail! Felt booties (sewn out of felt, not feltED)! How could I say no? There's also a HUGE yarn section at Le Bon Marche. FYI- yarn at La Droguerie is sold by the gram, not the yard, so be prepared to do some of The Math.

Blue, blue, I LOVE BLUE! Whenever I put something on that's blue, my friends say, "wow, you're eyes just got bluer." About the pasty thing, maybe you need a few sessions at a tanning salon?

I love your shirt, and you do NOT look pale and fat! You should see me--I would make two of you.

Really, dude, are those crazy monster teeth in the window reflection with the cat photo? Or did I just eat a bad Snickers bar?

LAURIE. YOU ARE NOT FAT. Everyone say it with me. And I know, she didn't actually say she was fat anywhere, but don't pretend it wasn't implied. Laurie! You're lovely! I don't even think you're pale! That shirt, I don't want to talk about. But never mind that. Nice Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man, though. "Ghostbusters" was my favorite movie for many years, which shows what a nerd I am. And Bob! Dear, sweet Bob.

La Droguerie? What a totally cool name for a yarn store. If I promise to go on a chocolate-only diet for the next six weeks (no pain, no gain, so to speak) will you take me with you?

There are 28 grams in an ounce btw.

i hope you are feeling better young lady!

you need to come stitch (with them) and bitch (with me.)

i'm excited for your trip. i hope it gives you lots of good stories.

Sweetie, you are SO not fat. And I actually thank you look dang cute in that striped shirt. Loud, perhaps, but cute.

Glad you're starting to feel better! Now you can maybe go to the post office? To get the nice little package I sent you, like, weeks ago?

Cheers,
Helen

Oh Purl! You are just so funny I cant even stand it. I dont mean to pick on your friends but....I'm sure they are really super nice and fun and smart and stuff but...what the heck is Shannon wearing? Btw...Love your shirt...love your scarf..love your hair....love everything!

At least France isn't burning these days. It's ripe for your visit, wouldn't you say?

Oh, and call me tacky, but when I saw the picture with the polyester shirt, I thought, "ooh, cute shirt" without even noticing paleness, short arms, big head or any other faults. Maybe the polyester is just really photogenic.

mariah carey isn't fat but she definitely needs a new stylist. she's a celebrity for god's sake. if she were a normal person doing a normal person's job, i'd be ok, that mariah girl looks great! but if she's going to be on tv, someone's got to get her out of those slutty dresses and do something with that hair.

As a middle-aged woman facing the insideous reality of metabolic dysfunction, I can not take issue with Mimi's weight. In fact, Me and Mimi seem to have a butt in common. Er, bit in common, I mean. I do take issue with those who are dressing her. What are they thinking?

Ooh, Paris. *swoon* Mr. R and I sent our eldest to Paris last semester for a week. So totally worth the $,$$$.

Glad you seem to be feeling better. Don't knock the healing value of a good polyester-induced chuckle. I'm quite sure Dr. Weil would approve.

I enjoy reading about your knitting and just as soon as I finish my volcano colored crocheted afghan, I'm going to force myself to master the purl stitch. Right now I call it the *sproing* stitch, as that's the noise it makes jump off the needles.

Laurie, you are not the palest person on the planet. It's bad enough living in Australia with just enough pigment to not be defined as an albino but so little that I have got sunburnt from going out of the building for five minutes in summer to buy lunch; it's even worse as a 16-year-old at an international scout jamboree when all the Zimbabwian boys insist they want to have a photo with "the ghost", ie: me.

I think you are looking pretty good and who cares if you don't have 10.. just change the number in the title... who said the number had to be 10~

On Mariah...Clothes aside (I hear you Valerie and Marcia)I'm not really sure who thinks she's fat? Everyone I know who likes Mariah and her music (thank God for some soul) has never called her "fat." That's just weird (and actually, hilarious) to me, but hey every community is different. We don't consider her to be fat -- she's got a typical African American physique...yes, we have butts. Nothing wrong with that, even Tyra has a butt; and yes, the J-Lo butt is about that too... They are beautiful, full figured woman and they look damn good. Their's is not the image or beauty standard most of us get from popular culture/media overall. Yes, we can add Beyonce to this list...the brothers KNOW what's real and what's sexy. We are not going to starve ourselves and undergo the knife to fit an image that doesn't "fit."

Also, Just read the Mariahisms -- don't see anything crazy about them -- some, rather several of them are idiomatic Black slang or part of the cultural language..."mess" and "holla" carry a lot of meaning.

Anyway, just had to drop some knowledge on this...love your site Laurie...just be healthy...

peace, kd

*LOL* Can't wait to see the scarf!

i always believe you can look great in anything as long as you wear the proper shade of lipstick!

I like the shirt too! I thought it was cute!

I tivo Oprah and normally I love her, but the bird flu - terrorist show...promptly deleted that one. I depend on Oprah to lift me up, not bring me down. And speaking of watching Oprah to lift me up...the bra and jean intervention show changed my life. Following Oprah's advice I went to Nordstrom's and got a proper, professional boob fitting. It's amazing how good fitting lycra can change your whole outlook on life. I feel 10 lbs lighter!!!

Was this too much information? Sorry, but you brought up Oprah and boobs, so I just had to share, cause you know, it's not the like the whole world reads your blog comments or anything. :)

I've seen fatter. lol

I just started reading your "blog" or whatever not too long ago. I have a couple questions for you. How did you learn to knit so fast? Is it at all boring? And , your whitish cat, is that a snow bengal? Or a lynx point siamese?

Thanks! Lena

Lena... he is a seal point siamese, that's Roy The Million Dollar Cat (my theory is that when he finally racks up a million bucks at the vet he'll promptly vanish *poof* LOL)

Knitting only gets boring when you dislike the yarn, I think. Plus, I knit mostly "boring" things, like plain scarves and hats, but because they're fast I don't get bored.

kd-- I agree with your Mariah assessment!!

helen -- I will :)

Lisa-- Oprah's bra show changed my life, too. But the bird flu/terrorist thing freaked my shiite out.

1. A good bra is better than a bad man
2. You are a child of the universe, you have a right to be pale
3. There's always the pink hair solution (eSurance woman)
4. What for?
5. You are my sunshine. If I'm pale, you give me color, girl!
6. So, um, what's WRONG with sitting next to a 7' tall person on the plane? You say that like it's a BAD thing.
7. Marge Simpson makes me feel fat. Ever notice how even in CARTOONS the wife is svelt and the hub is a chub?
8. Roy would be anybody's Million Dollar Baby. But do you have a Million Dollar Duck? And where IS Sandy Duncan today?
9. So what's wrong with a Top NINE list?

Kathleen -- it is IMPOSSIBLE to feel slim & attractive with wet hair in the hairdresser's chair. I have a theory that they make you look bad then on purpose so you'll be relieved, no matter what they do.

Mariah and Laurie are NOT fat. Good gravy.

However, Mariah is definitely batshit crazy. Thanks for that link, Keli.

Hi - love your blog! I am quite new to this knit blog thing and am having a ball (pun truly not intended! ball - skein - knitting - get it??). Can totally relate about the skinny friend thing, but I throw in the short thing too. Hmm.

You are quite right about the shirt. Burn &/or melt it.

Sometimes, kitties become ill when their people are unwell. Roy may be one of those ve-r-r-y sensitive kitties. He also knows that you will be leaving. Trust me! HE KNOWS! Have you tried a vet. who offers naturopathic remedies for cats - Chinese herbs, acupuncture? By the way, I have good fashion sense, and I see that blue striped shirt with jeans, a pale green shrug and a casually whispy upswet hair style. And do play up those laughing blue eyes. What you got to lose?

Laurie, I mean this in the most non-stalker, non-weirdie way: You are so freaking cute!

You are fun and sweet and cute cute cute. Stop with the fat-thoughts. Enough. You are a cutie.

And now I must call "enough" on myself, lest I scare the nice lady with my enthusiasm.

Stay Puft the marshmallow man...heheh

JUST REMEBER...French women are not fat. Eat French food and LOSE WEIGHT. Its a scientifically proven theory!!

don't get me on the topic of looong air plane flights ...just start drinking the wine. Its free. GO KLM!!!!!

Stay Puft the marshmallow man...heheh

JUST REMEBER...French women are not fat. Eat French food and LOSE WEIGHT. Its a scientifically proven theory!!

don't get me on the topic of looong air plane flights ...just start drinking the wine. Its free. GO KLM!!!!!

Mariah's not fat, she just dresses wrong for shape.

I'm an Elizabeth, can I be your friend?

Back in my early knitting blog days, I would NEVER have commented when 72 people had done so already. After all, who would notice me? However, now that I know I might be in the running for a position as "new friend," I feel it is my duty to report for, er, duty. And to broaden my vocabulary.

Hi, friend! The Michelin Man is French. You know this, right? I hear they love him over there. You do not look like him. But they will love you nonetheless.

I cannot tell you how sad this post made me...how sad you making yourself into the Sta-pufft man made me. I know that it's not inherently based in funny, so I didn't laugh.

Laurie, I used to weigh 331 pounds...

That, my friend, is fat.

Needing medical intervention is fat.

I don't say this to invalidate you. I say this to invalidate the stupid fucking patriarchal society that makes you consider your extra weight and measure yourself against your real friends who would love you if you were pre-op carnie wilson or pre-death karen carpenter.

I get So Fucking Sick of Tv and movies and magazines saying that women who have any fat on them whatsoever are fat.

Laurie, you are beautiful. But you know what? Even if you were a fucking Troll who weighed so much as to have your own weather system or so little as to be positively skeletal, the part of you that makes you beautiful is the part we see here every day - or whenever you post when not dying of bird flu.

You are funny and kind and creative and inquisitive and willing to learn and show your mistakes and ask for help and put yourself Out There in a real way that people can relate to.

You know what that means?

You're fucking beautiful.

And now that I'm done with this somewhat tipsy, tearful post, I shall retire, hoping that, when you read it, you'll know it's true.

*much love*

Abby

Now I am totally laughing, for I have never considered the Balance Theory of Healthism.

I think I have been granted the gift of a new rationalization. Thank you, Laurie.

well atleast the shirt brings out the blue of your eyes!! that's something i guess! :D i kinda like the shirt tho... maybe that means i am tacky too... hehe.

Look at your beautiful face and perfect teeth and shut up you are so fin cute!

I giant long arms, so you know everyone has a freak trait.

Actually, I like the shirt; it's a happy, cheerful, H&M-esque kind of shirt. As far as paleness goes, I work nights, so when under those flattering fluorescent lights at the hairdressers (with my hair wet or dry) I look like I am in desparate need of a transfusion. This is in contrast with my lovely driver's license picture in which I look like I am in desparate need of a liver transplant. I just DO NOT photograph well; you do, though. Really. Take some iron if you think you need it, most women do. Can't wait for the Paris trip pix, you'll have a blast!

Laurie, you are too funny. I enjoy your posts.

(a) Acording to my dad, who worked the Sony VIP elevator while Mariah was married to Tommy Matola, Mariah is a very nice lady. Not as nice as Barbra Streisand or Billy Joel, but nicer than J-Lo.

(b) Exactly when are you going to be in Paris? The Pouse and I will, probably, be there at the end of March.

I seriously cannot believe you just put your head on the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man. You are crazy girly! Oh, and I sooo take my Omega 3's!

i'm with you on the need for other big friends. jen is like the size of my pinky finger!

You are my favorite! I know you'll probably never read this far down your comment line, but here I am anyways. Keep writing so I can keep reading (I need SOMETHING to do at work all day...)

I am pale - skim milk pale - naturally, and I have this strange aversion to skin cancer. My dh constantly gives me crap for being pale (never mind he's a wrinkled raisin but whatever) and so the secret is - rock a little LIGHT self tanner on face, neck, and upper chest. Put lotion on the edges to blend, wash hands, and watch the glow develop. Of course you live in a place where you let the rest of your body parts show (I live in Oregon and the rest is self explanatory) and so you may be a little mismatched. But seriously, it takes the glow off and you feel instantly better. Skinny friends? Bah! You are glowing and curvy. Not to mention the writer of the only blog I read religiously. :-)

Don't feel bad about a Mariah fixation, at least she's a real artist! I'm currently obsessed with this song by Veronicas called "4ever". I can't believe I'm obsessed with a song that a) uses a number in the title, b) is clearly going to be a one-hit wonder by a manufactured pop group.

More on La Droguerie. One section of the store sells a mind-boggling array of beads, trims, feathers, and ribbons. That one has a very long line-up of people waiting to have things cut, which you can ignore if all you want is yarn. The yarn is in another section, near the cash booth. There are skeins of maybe 7 or 8 kinds of yarn in many many gorgeous colours hanging from the wall (I got some coral dk-weight linen and lace-weight alpaca in a beige that is actually a whole bunch of other colours). There are no labels, but I think the m/kg are given. They have a lot of knitted-up samples hanging from the walls, and you can buy kits that include the pattern, the yarn, and any notions, or you can buy by weight.

Some people find the staff at La Droguerie rude. But it's more that very French expectation that you know the rules, and the resulting disapproval when you show you don't. One of the rules is that you don't pick up anything with your grubby hands (this is the rule in a lot of stores). So stand by the yarn, looking as though you may touch it, and when a salesperson asks if she can help, explain what you want. She will disappear into the bowels of the building and reappear some hours later with your yarn. If you can't catch anyone's eye, you can ask the person in the caisse if there is someone who can help you buy yarn.

There's also a nice Anny Blatt store in the Marais (40 rue des Francs-Bourgeois), Phildar stores all over, and a yarn department at Au Printemps (I believe the one at Galeries Lafayette is mostly Phildar). Do you want my chocolate list?

Mama Lu: Go into a store and NOT touch the yarn?! That's just sick.

Boobs - I got skinny (Ok, I'll be honest, not skinny but skinnier) but my boobs got bigger. My bras that fit look like potholders. These bras don't look like the little square potholders, they are the big mits that a man who is barbequeing can stick his fist into.

"Speaking of boobs! Not really. Psyche! "

Damn. you got me!

Contrary to popular belief, there ARE fat Frenchwomen.