1. "We Are The 80s" is the BEST thing EVER.

2. Congratulations on the being-open-to-dating advancement! That is a big deal. Okay, so the door isn't exactly open YET, and when and/or if it opens is entirely up to you, of course. At least you are in the foyer.

A friend introduced me to your site last week, and I must say reading it has made working Saturday nights much closer to bearable.

So, you go ... woman. Have fun doing precisely what *you* want to do.

Yay you!

(and I found myself wondering what your parents were thinking when they read this post!)

I do believe our beloved Purl has turned the corner ... so proud of you and your new attitude!

Yes, we're going to have a wing-ding! I'm in the enviable position of not having SEEN MTV since, say, 1985. I think the last video I saw was "C'mon Irene" or "Don't Pay The Ferryman" - maybe it was "Love is a Battlefield" (oh-a-oh-a-oh-a-oh-a-oh-a-oh!)

Your post made me smile - what a cool place to be in! You will make the best of it. Whoever it is, though, they DO have to like cats. At least a little...

YIPPPEEEEE!!!!! You are "Movin'On Up." I know, that's the 70's but it fit!

I second that: YAY YOU!!!!

As Stewart Adamson of Big Country said, "Come up screaming!" Yay for getting up in the mornings and getting through hell.

Well y'know Girls Just Wanna Have Fu-uun...

Cool thoughts, Laurie.

*applause*

Who says only guys should be the ones to say "I'll call you"

I've been blogstalking you for quite sometime (in a friendly-knitterly-catly-former-SoCal girl-with-Sourthern-grandmother, NOT crazy-obsessive-can-I-make-out-her-license-plate-scary, way), and this post is my favorite yet. It just made me so warm and happy to see you lift another curtain and peek behind it.

Plus, in the actual 80's, I was totally in love with David Bowie. He's still in my hall of fame.

You go girl!! Isn't reclaiming your life as you THE MOST WONDERFUL feeling? I did what you did but was married for 18 yrs. before my ex said he didn't know what to do with our marriage.
Bet I know the next song you'll be singing... It's My Life..(thank you Mr BonJovi!) :)

YAY! Welcome to the world of dating for you. Don't do it before you're ready, lest you should find yourself bawling your FUCKING eyes out over many pitchers of Sangria (besides, I've already done THAT one, and you're nothing if not original).

Dating for YOU is awsome! When you're ready, date for fun, for a way to pass the time, and a way to set the world on fire (if you know what I mean, and I suspect you do...)

YEAH!

oooooh! i can't wait to read your dating stories! :)

Go, you yarny woman you! I think we are roughly the same age, because I still remember MTV when it had videos, and not stupid RealWorldButWithoutBills shows.

Also, I love your cats. Give them more bacon.

Hurrah!

And, um... what Dewey said. ~points up at Dewey's comment~

(Also, VH-1 Classics? Is the best. At least, it's the best when they show 1980s videos. I may have to get a Tivo just for that and possibly for various scandalous BBC America soaps as well.)

Go out and rent all the seasons of "Sex in the City" - they will give you great advice on "girls behaving like boys" - sounds so liberating and YOU DESERVE THIS!!!!!!!!

Yay, Laurie! Enjoy the new unfolding - get out there and doowhatchalike. It's high time you had some fun. No need to get tangled up with men who don't adore you as you are. I bet you'll have lots of fun dating this summer!

David Bowie was up on my wall at my mom's house...then my dorm room...then my awful grad student apartment...and maybe even my "Oh my god I'm married" ram-shackle apartment...yes, love...

Dating sucks, don't do it...just kidding. With the attitude you're taking, you're gonna do better than fine...now what's a good "80s trash"(what I call my beloved decade of music) lyric to go with it???

Ah yes, how about:
"The future's so bright, I(you) gotta wear shades."

The 80's RULE!

Sounds like you have hit a milestone/turning point in you new life. I know it will be as fun as you describe. Go for it lady!!!

You are so funny. I just love you so much every time I stop by . . . and I mean that in a totally non-freakish way - like the way I love my sisters and my yarn. Glad to hear that you are at least thinking of dating. I think you are in for an all new adventure. :)

Love the internets on the weekend.

Ah the 80s! Flashback to the soundtrack to my first dateing. I'm a bit older (H.S. clas of '80 so I relate to that 70s show too) so the 80s MTV stuff reminds me of my 1st heartbreak...always something there to remind me...

Then again, I was living in S.F. and saw Boy George, The Clash with Los Lobos opening, Joe Jackson with Howard Jones opening, The Boomtown Rats (I got a great picture of Bob Geldoff from that one.) and Spandeau Ballett. What a time it was....

You go, gal!

Hello ,
a new reader for you from Paris , thank you ...

Hello ,
a new reader for you from Paris , thank you ...

Yaaaaaay!!!!

as Rex Harrison said 40 years ago "Why can't a woman be more like a man?"

Good for you! Reclaiming your life and empowering yourself is *such* a great place to get to. All my best...~Karen~

i was so glad to read this post. have fun!

Laurie, you HAVE read the Sweet Potato Queens books, right? Go back and re-read the chapter about The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life At All Times.

Most outrageously memorable advice my mother ever gave me: "you don't have to be good, just be safe."

;)

Here's another liberating thought. You don't have to wait to be asked. That's right. You can ask a guy out just because you liked his smile, his laugh, or mabye his butt.

Oh, you have turned the corner! Good for you.

Cool! Can I go with you?

Wait, I guess my DH wouldn't be too keen on that idea. But golly, it sounds like a blast.

Back in the saddle again! Good for you! You will be shocked at the interesting doors that open. After my ex and I were on the skids, someone introduced me to a guy who needed a female voiceover person to do real estate commercials (I was a local DJ at a radio station).

"That guy" and I have been together 20 years next month with 2 kids. And we're in biz together too.
Keep the faith...good things are down the road for you!

And (in keeping with the VH-1 theme)as Robert Smith of the Cure said...."Wish impossible things"

Light + End of Tunnel = Laurie

Yay!! Sometime it will all fall together, just keep on taking a day at a time.

Personally, LOVED "Pop Up Video" and still mourn it's passing. We didn't have cable in Podunk-ville, WI, so I missed all the 80's vids..... so sad. then again, I always was reading so maybe I wouldn't have watched them anyway.

Okay, I want to adopt Pyewacket's mom.

Hooray for CAP! It's so (as you say) liberating to discover the ability to do WHAT YOU WANT, when you want to, and to answer to no one in particular. So happy to hear that you're moving toward dating again.

Lovelovelove to you (but not stalker-love)!

Here's the forty-zillionth "YAY" for you! Also, the 30-sillionth "I too love the 80's" videos, because what's not to like about men wearing makeup and the enormous hair and the weird ways in which producres/directors/artists were taking on the genre ("Take on Me" comes to mind, and Peter Gabriel's stuff from the "So" album). That stuff was mindblowing at the time, which now seems rather quaint. Let us all remember that computers ath the time were not on every table or in every pocket, and that all that stuff was done "by hand." Amazing.
God, I sound old. Oh wait! It's because I AM!

Rock on Laurie! Every divorced woman needs a rebound boy or two or three or whatever. I liked them dangerous punk rock types. Mmmmm, tasty!

Laurie,

You GO, girl!!

I'm so glad you have made it to this point. Go out, have fun, get a little "crazy" - - whatever. It's your life, have some fun with it!

And as for David Bowie, well - - I thought he was HOT back in the 70's and 80's, and I STILL think he's HOT today! *sigh* My heart's all a-fluttter now . . . :-)

Liz

Way to go, Laurie. Way to go. (Just a funny...I dated the pizza delivery guy after my divorce. Just because he was funny and cute and showed up at my house with pizza for the kids and I.)

Aunt Purl I just love your website!! I check it daily! I am a 30 something knitting spinster with a cat and I embrace the stereotype!! You must fill us in on your dating adventures. I'm sure LA has more possibilities than central Virginia (where I am). I think I'm going to live vicariously through you......
Keep us posted!

Laurie, I feel for you! I discovered your blog a couple of weeks ago and have been reading the archives (in order of appearance) ever since. You are such a good and funny writer, but I also sense the things you don't write about. I'm older than you (high school class of '75) but I, too, am divorced. But I remarried and this new one, he's a keeper! It's possible! My life is so good. I hope your life is good, too. And I'm so glad that you knit. Because, like knitting and life, it isn't the destination but the journey that counts.

and oh yeah...the 80's rock. gosh I'd love to knit some leg warmers..

Oh! This entry reminded me of a book I've just heard of...It's called The Year of Yes. The author basically got sick of being so picky & decided that for one year she would go out on at least one date with EVERY guy that asked her out (including a cab driver, a homeless guy, etc.) Then she wrote a book about her adventure! Hehehe...I can't wait to read it, and it might be a little humorous pre-empt to your dating! :)

Just remind all those who ask or at least that you go out with.....just tell them you have a blog ( if he is an idiot then explain what a blog is) and that you blog everything so they best be good or at least worth blogging about

Welcome to dating in your 30s. It can be a lot of fun when you realize that maybe you aren't trying to spend the rest of your life with that guy. This is how I justify dating guys who are 10-15 years younger than I. Just remember to keep it legal.

I like to watch late infomercials about 70s or 80s music and sing along. Just ask the cats. I think they think I'm insane.

Dang girl! I got divorced when I was 25, and it took me a LOT longer than a YEAR to realize that I was free.

Let me tell you though, once the realization was made, it felt GOOD.

Got to be fun too.

Feel free to flirt, 'cause along with "Yes", you can also say "No, not today, darlin'".

Take a deep breath, put on a mona lisa smile, package your girls and present.

Watch out world. Purl is on the prowl.

Puuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Oh, I miss the 80s! The BEST MUSIC EVER.

Good to see you looking at your new status in a positive light, Laurie. Now go have fun!

Exactly! Now you can date for the FUN of it! And you are all over that pressure of "must find perfect man to marry before I'm 30 or I'll be doomed forever" because, hey, you've already been there, done that and discovered the truth. Enjoy David Lee Roth and his weird striped pants!

Yay!! What a great epiphany. You are going to ROCK the dating world, woman!

God, it is liberating isn't it? I remember, as part of my post nasty breakup rehabilitation strategy, joining a local hiking group because a. I like to hike and b. everyone I'd ever met from the group rocked and I thought it'd be nice to make new friends. Sort of strange to get to a point where I was saying "Hi Mom and Dad, I'm off to hike in the woods with a strange man!" and have them say "Have a nice time!"
Anyway, enjoy this part of your life where you've been bounced out of your rut and are in a place where you can choose what you'd like to do next.
Embrace your inner hedonist!

it's a good thing you put that last part in because i was totally gonna see if you wanted to have dinner sometime.

;)

Gawd, I miss VH1. Sometimes living in the sticks has it's downs. BUT, we do have this fab radio show on Sunday mornings, and all they play is 80's music. I so was in the shower today singing at the top of my lungs, didn't care who I woke up.

Welcome to the light at the end of the tunnel. I have this cute brother... (ROFL)

Oh Laurie it's so nice to see you feeling positive.
I may have to start tivo-ing vh1 too. I am from the same decade as you and I love that stuff. So many memories (mostly good).

How about "A-Ha"? Man, I was in love with that band for such a long period in my young life.... :)

I bet that you'll find that as soon as you begin looking for fun, "not serious" dating you're going to have a pretty hard time smacking those guys down. They seem to find independence irresistable.

Way to go, kiddo! Turn and face the strange changes.
Reading all these comments with their song quotes was like a test! I knew all the songs. Sad, Sad, Sad.

Adam Ant-"huge girly sigh"-gorgeous! Hello?

And yeah for you! Think of all the flirting you get to do now with all of those inappropriate guys-hell, I'd hang out at the construction sites and salsa bars starting today!! You go girl!!

AMEN, sister!

You go girl! I am getting divorced and I am really looking forward to dating. It's amazing how my requirements have changed over the years. I want to have some fun! You deserve to have some fun too.

YAY for you! Seriously. Watch out, boys...Laurie's on the loose. Can they keep up?

Wow!! I have never been married, and I am still looking for "Mr Right", well I was...your way sounds much better, have fun, no expectations, no strings attached...now where are the single men ;)

Wish I knew some hot firemen, so I could fix you up. (or one of my hot sons was your age). They're only 23 and 21. Well, too bad. Dang it!

Good for you! I'm always reminded of what Janis said - freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose, and I keenly feel my lack of freedom in order to maintain what I have. And wishing that I had taken greater advantage when I had that freedom.

Seize the day and savor every moment!

Another brilliant thing about 80s videos is that the performers still looked like 'normal people' - albeit normal people wearing way too much make-up, hair gel and crazy clothes! No fake boobs. No botox. Back-up singers who could actually sing and were allowed to be in the video even if they did not have a perfect model. I love 80s music clips. They are the only thing that make going to the gym worthwhile on the weekend.

Laurie,

I was married for 8-1/2 years, and then FREE and SINGLE and had FUN for five wonderful years! Had a great time, and made every moment count.

Then I met Dear Hubby, and he totally captured my heart. That was 22 years ago - - and we will be married 20 years this year.

So it IS possible to find a life partner, soul mate, best friend - - or all rolled into one, even after a tough divorce.

You'll get there someday - - don't be in a rush, just have some fun! :-)

Liz

david bowie rocks - let's date him... doesn't matter that I am practically married....

Every woman should philander at least once. Maybe twice. But not twice in the same weekend. I'm just sayin... ;)

Rock on, Laurie.

BREAKTHROUGH!!!

Please use the word "debauchery" in the near future.

My girlfriend & I have been waiting for you to think of dating again. You are ready...

Go for it....move ahead...try to detect it...it's not too late...to whip it, whip it good!

You know what I think? You could do with a nice shallow relationship that is purely physical. The kind where a week after it's over you have to ask yourself "What was his last name?" Maybe he'll be a linguist?

so happy to hear all this

Go on, girl!! This is your time to live and find yourself again. I love reading your blog. Maybe when you’re in Paris, you’ll find a cute Frenchman to whisper sweet nothings into your ear. Hell, maybe even to rock your world (as Wanda would say)! I hope to go to Paris this year as well and trust me, it would not hurt my feelings at all to have a Frenchman do the same with me. Take care and enjoy your week. By the way, my favorite music is Disco, but you can never go wrong with Streisand. Have you figured out yet that I’m a big ole queer, lol. Just saying.

I too watch VH1. Dh and I spent HOURS last weekend watching the David Hasselhoff special. Not cause we like him cause we definately DONT but the songs were GREAT. OH the memories from our youth....

This past year saw a divorce for me, too. And now that I'm back into the wonderful world of dating the thing I've noticed is that MEN are the clingy ones now! And I believe it's THEIR biological clocks ticking so loudly we gotta wear earplugs. Kind of frustrating, actually. (But kinda fun, too!)

I have been telling people about your blog; I discovered it a few weeks ago and am in awe of your zest for life, even when it's painful. I just want to add on to Pyewacket's mom's advice. My mom's lawyer told her this, and she passed it on to me: Be good. If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful, call me (that is, your lawyer).

Have a life filled with fabulosity, you are already on your way!

What a revelation. It would be fantastic to date just for the FUN of it! Just remember you're not going to meet any guys by hanging out at Chez Spinster and working too much ;)

Get out with Jennifer or Crystal or whoever and have some fun meeting totally "inappropriate" men!

Just keep in mind... from a woman who never wanted to get married and ALWAYS dated just for FUN... when you have that mind set... the guys become VERY clingy, needy, and a little annoying. (actually, it just makes it that much more fun for us!) But- consider yourself warned!

And if someone bores or displeases you, you do not have to make sure you give them another chance to bore or displease you because you are a Nice Girl and also you want to seetle down and how can you make that happen if you have needs of your own. If a date fails to meet your needs and expectations you can say - bored now, bye-bye.

And that can be hard and sad too - but still feels great because you are looking out for yourself.

Aunt Purl! I discovered you just yesterday and you are fun to read and inspiring. Fun because you have a great sense of humor. Inspiring because I too am a 30-something knitting spinster with a cat and you make me feel normal. Normal! Thanx! :0)

Hooray!! There is light a they end of CAPPY's tunnel!! We're so happy for you!!

Yaaaayyyyy!!!

Let the debauchery begin! LOL!

Let me be the 81st person to be happy that you have realized that you have power in dating now.

I love the comment above, that you also don't have to say yes to another boring date!

WOOHOO!

Now, where is that guy who was gonna change the swing of your fridge door?

Perfect timing! 3 words: French Men & Vacation!

Time to have fun and not worry about heavy stuff.
Don't knock the meeting your love on the internet. That is how I met my French hubby over seven years ago. Now I live in France and we have three children three and under.

Love is found when and where you least expect it.

I am happy I found your blog. I like the way you make fun of the bad things in your life. Sometimes that is about all we can do, isn't it?

Laurie, I recently went through a divorce as well after 10 years with my ex (20 if you count the years we were friends). Dating post-divorce is "the bomb". I've had so much fun because I have not put pressure on myself. Don't get me wrong, there are still bad dates. However, my attitude about the bad ones is much different than it would have been previously and now they don't seem bad but more like an adventure in life and learning about myself. I'm 37 and I've dated men between 29 and 52 - from executives to real estate agents to starving musicians. It's taught me not to limit myself to what I used to think was "my type". SO MUCH MORE FUN NOW!!!! Enjoy every single moment of it.

And it is so.much. FUN!!!!

The first time I read your blog you had written about that bus that broke down on the freeway, I was wondering way back then why you didn't hook up with a fireman cutie. Happy hunting!

I love the 80's, it's been so long since I last heard KROQ are they still on the air?

the mother in me says: get an aids check and use condoms...

the smartass in me wants to know if you'll be knitting anything sexy soon....

You. Are. Way. Too. Funny.

Love Ya.

99 Red Balloons -- I just heard that song this weekend while watching "Wedding Crashers", (it's in the Special Features - Deleted Scenes portion of the DVD). Probably the first time I've heard that song in over 20 years! And here you are mentioning it. Crazy! I will have to see if I have that channel with my digital cable. Ah, the '80's. My formative years. High School. College. Such memories. Such bad clothes and hair styles....

I have been WAITING FOR SO LONG to see you write that. Go you! Enjoy every minute - it's lots of fun.

As a divorcee myself, you have reached a milestone. Good for you. Remember, dating is supposed to be fun. Enjoy it.

Love your blog, a friend of mine turned me on to it. Take care of yourself!

this is the best. entry. EVER. well done. you're 100 percent right. and i'm so inspired (even though i don't know you at all and only read your fabulous blog).

i totally agree with you. my divorced friends are SO MUCH calmer about dating and meeting guys. They don't have the same drive to HURRY UP GET MARRIED because a: they've done it all before and b: they've lost that fear of being called a "spinster." But don't get me started on why an umarried woman past 35 is a spinster and an unmarried guy past 35 is a "player." What. Ever.

Fantastic, Laurie!! Let the Bowie be your guide, you can't go wrong... ;)

xox

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