Purl, Purl, Purl,

Bless you and your honesty.

Happy New Year, Happy New YOU.

Emerging from lurkdom to wish you a Happy New Year, and that you will find what other definitions are in store for you. (And may they be good ones).

Another lurker surfacing. I just had to let you know that I saw you in 2005 as the girl who went through what I'm going through and brought me hope by emerging fabulous and hysterical. I would elaborate, but I'm still terrified of posting comments.

Wishing you a happy new year full of hope, joy and knitting.

Don't look back, look forwards!

I'm a few years ahead of you on this but I still draw lots of comfort and companionship from your travails. I'm raising my glass of champagne to you tonight. Wishing you the best for what I know will be a glorious new year.

Laurie: I had some terribly wise thing to say, but it really looked brittle and unhelpful once I got it written. So I'll just say that 2006 will be a brilliant and and wonderful year for you, of this I am certain. Thanks for Living Out Loud and letting us into your life. Blessings, joy and chocolate be yours.

To many of us who've had the pleasure of meeting you thru your blog, we wouldn't describe, define or limit you as "Divorced'. Divorced isn't even on the list.

Best wishes (sounds corny but it's true) in 2006 & beyond.

Jan

Hi Laurie the Purl,

I have been treasuring your blog postings. Your lists for 2006 are inspiring.

I am going through the same thing (starting divorce after a 23-year marriage and the how-could-he-do-what-he-has-done angst that seems to never go away). I'm older, and have teenagers to care for, and have been a stay-at-home Mom for 17 years, so no job. Laurie - hang in there. I can really commiserate with emotions and the heartbreak. But you are still young, you have employment, and a great personality. You are so much better than he could ever hope to be. Your life will get better, I am sure.
B.

I'm also a few years ahead of you and can't wait to keep up and see what life has in store for you. I remember feeling (and still do sometimes) ashamed of the stigma that "divorced" carries, but I know that without that horrid, hellish experience I would not be who I am or where I am today. Wishing you much wine, good times, and good chocolate in 2006.

"Divorced" doesn't own or describe you now, dear. It WILL get better, though. Hang on!

you are WAY more than divorced. that's a silly word anyway.

it applies more to him than to you- you are now free to do bigger and better things.

You'll know you're getting closer to done when you start getting sick and tired of hte mental hamster wheel you're on. Until then, keep up the good work, because you're doing great, sad times and all.

Laurie,

You are great and I know that nothing but wine, knitting and many more good things will be coming your way.

Laurie,
Happy 2006..... I have enjoyed having you to read every day and enjoy you.

Laurie:

There must be comfort in knowing what you have endured this year others have as well. It is a comfort for me, that is certain. The unexpected end to my marriage, divorce, the loss of my treasured home, the death of two beloved relatives, and the sale of my childhood home. Deep sigh. What all that adds up to for me tonight is that tomorrow is a new chapter and fresh starts and a world of possibility -- something that you don't have in an unhappy marriage. Your words have done more than you will know to get me through, and I wish you and me and your readers peace, love, happiness in 2006. I raise my glass of Chateau Greysac to you and look forward to all that awaits us all just around the corner.

Honey, 2006 is going to be better. You've already had more trials in one year than most folks have in an entire lifetime. So, look at the odds. 2006 almost has to be better for you. It is statistically improbable that you could have a more trying year than you've just endured. So... look ahead with hope 'cause 2006 is going to be a much better year! It darn near has to be.

Happy New Year Hun! May the new year be for coming into your new self, and creating many new knitting projects. Happy 2006!

I have a favorite quote, "I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday." anonymous. Here's to 2006

2005 was a sucky year for a lot of us. 2006 needs to be better. Or we need to find the strength in ourselves to kick it back into the last century.

Happy New Year!!

You know...I don't know you at all, other than your blog, but from the moment I started reading it, I've learned things from you (hell, you're even in my New Year's post). I loved reading your posts, and about your life, and I thought you were fabulous...but then you made the post about the day of your divorce...

And it helped me. So. Much.

I've never been married. I've never been divorced, but that post, and those sentiments...they got me through what was an incredibly difficult series of decisions I had to make about school, family, friends, and my life.

The fact that you share your life with us here means more than you could possibly know. So thank you.

Like someone else said above...divorced doesn't even make the list when I think of words to describe you. But the fact that you have been so honest about the process is unimaginably good and wonderful and important. And I am thankful for it, and for you.

Happy new year!

Laurie, you are a great gal and have a lotta living ahead of ya. The past year was the suck for a lot of us (both my parents died just 10 weeks apart) but I know there are better days ahead. I'm toasting you tonight and wishing you a happy new year! Full of yarn and wine! Yes!

Laurie, it'll get better from here. Hang in there.

May all your dreams come true. You deserve only the best.

You are an immensely talented woman and you will be happy some day.....soon.

JO

When I think of you, I can only come up with one description: Soba's Minion. But at least you garnered a capital "M". Poor Bob, et al., are just "Soba's minions".

You know what is even scarier than divorce? Possibilities.
Possibilities mean change and change is scary. You've got a world of possibilities out there and the list you wrote says you will go and grab them! Good luck - we're with you all the way :-)
Wishing you a 2006 full of silly hats and happy moments.

happy happy new year. hugs,

Happy New Year and Blessed Be, Laurie... This eve is much like every other except for the immense meaning humans put behind it. Live every day as it were your last - live hard, love long and laugh often. You've certainly inspired me to do so.

"I am going to make it through this year if it kills me."
-- "This Year"
The Mountain Goats

"He was just a guy I met one day."

I so love how that sounds like the first lyric to a song.

YOUR song.

Happy New Year, Laurie. Thanks for giving this longtime lurker much inspiration and hope. And now I'm off to face Valley traffic and NYE festivities in Van Nuys!

Laurie, I hope 2006 brings you what you are looking for.

Trust me, when you get over 40 "divorced" sometimes sounds better on the life resume than "single, never married." Sometimes, when I don't feel like telling my whole life story to strangers I actually lie and tell people I'm divorced because when I tell them I have never been married they either ask me "why?" (as if not finding the right person yet was somehow my choice), or they assume I'm a lesbian (my family), or they say "I'm sorry" like I have a fatal disease.

Happy New Year to you too!! I went through a break-up after being with a slime ball for 14 years...no, we weren't married...but engaged...it broke my heart. Not a year later I met my current hubby and he's a total sweetheart...I no longer feel like I lost so much or anything for that matter and as for my ex? It takes a LOT to muster any memory of him now. Time and healing makes a huge difference...you too will make this turn!

Happy New Year Laurie--

Here's to 2006 and all the happiness, blessings and Yarn that it will bring to you and to the rest of us

The first word that comes to mind when I think of you is 'Fabulous'. Followed closely by Talented, Funny, Gorgeous, Adorable. Those kind of things. I understand that it'll take a while before the first word you think of to describe yourself isn't 'divorced', and that's ok. You're taking your time to work through this your own way, and that's exactly the right way to go imho.

I just wanted you to know that those of us out here see you differently. In a way we hope you will soon see yourself again. Big hugs, and Happy New Year.

Happy New Year Laurie! May the new year bring you love, happiness, and lots of wine and yarn!

Keep your chin up! You made it through a tough year! Now everything can be behind you...here's to no looking back! Cheers!

Henceforth Mr. X shall be JAG (just a guy).

You're the most positive-moving person I know, and you make the rest of us want to move in a positive direction!

Now, why aren't you answering my emails. Suddenly stalking is a BAD thing?

happy new year. big hugs.

And that is all he is worth... just guy you met one day... You deserve much better.

For the look see... the 2006 banished word list. http://www.lssu.edu/banished/current.php

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Happy New Year Laurie, and to all your loyal
readers.

No pressure, but will there be a hor-o-scope
anytime soon?

2 hours and 14 or so minutes to go...for you east coasters, 2006 is already 40 some-odd minutes old. How's it looking?

Laurie, I hope 2006 is as the latter half of my 2005. It all may not be 100% perfect and beautiful, but my oh my, my life is so very different now than a year ago.

Cheers to you.

Brava... not only did you turn over the calendar page, it sounds as if you turned a "new leaf" and are embracing the possibilities. There are ALWAYS possibilities and choices. have fun with them!

In celebraiton of the new year I have drunk too much Asti and I toast you...

May your New Year being new joys and a new found Up Country :)

2006 will rock. As I have said before, this is just THE BEGINNING of your story, Laurie!

Dear Laurie (aka CAP),
Thank you for all the smiles, laughter & yes, even the tears (quite often the tears were from laughing so hard I cried). Your writing is among the best this electronic medium has to offer, and your cats' shining personalities are second only to my own kitties (in my humble opinion!)
Wishing you a happy New Year & a happy new life with lots of fun yarn, funny hats & fun-loving friends!

Wishing you happiness in 2006.

I know how you feel. My blog name came from a journal I kept online about MY life after divorce. I completely had lost my personality in keeping HIM happy.

I keep the name now, as I got used to it, and also to remind myself of that period where I didn't know who I was- and to never let that happen again.

Happy New Year, and to the new You!

Maya Angelou says "I can be changed by what happens to me. I refuse to be reduced by it." And some clever person put it on a greeting card, and now that card hangs on my wall so that I am reminded of this thought frequently. I guess I learn by repetition.

You aren't the same person you were...I didn't know you back then, but am quite impressed with the Who you Are now...and looking forward to knowing who you become in the future.

Happy new year Laurie. I think a lot of us are hoping for a better year this time. I'm sure yours will be :-)

Happy New Year, Soba's Minion! We are all right: it will get better.

Happy New Year, Auntie! Here's to better and better years to come!

well, this was a real life changing event for you...like a death in the family. time will make a difference, u r right about that... you are your old self, but also a new self...
and this wont be on your mind every day like it is now... be kind and gentle and patient with yourself girl, as u would take care of a friend.

So often when you wrote about the end of your marriage, your words could have been mine. Just knowing that another person was going through the same pain made it easier to bear. You have helped me laugh, but have also made me feel like it was ok to cry. Most of all, you have helped me realize the importance of "living out loud". Thank you

May 2006 be a far more fantastic year than 2005.

Dear Laurie (and anyone who's in a similar place):

As others have said, this really WILL pass and the best really IS yet to come. I left my ex-h in '01 (after being with him for 17 years) and I'm now with a MUUUUUCH better man who I'll be marrying this year (met him the first week of '03). Clearing out the deadwood really does pave the way for future treasures. It will come!

So many of us have gone through this kind of life transformation. The place you're in right now is your time to Journey, just like the Hero who has a great loss and faces a series of seemingly impossible tasks. S/he emerges victorious eventually, and so will you. And it gets more and more fun along the way! It may sound weird, but those who have been given these tasks are the fortunate ones, we get to grow, and become who we really are.

And you know..."divorced" is not a status unless we let it be. It is something that happened, but we don't need to carry it with us. You are FREE, you are SINGLE, you are YOU. There is no need to tie yourself into the past by relating back to it. Your you-ness has no obligation to be associated with the deadwood that is gone. I only use the term when it -benefits- me to do so. Otherwise it's plain nobody's bizness. You are the boss of that!

Best wishes, and let's all enjoy this brandshiny New Year.

:)

Yet another lurker coming out to say Happy New Year and best wishes to you. I have only been reading your blog a short while, but I have been devouring the archives just to be able to read more from you! You are smart, funny, beautiful, and an inspiration. That you have maintained your sense of humor in this time of great pain is a wonderful thing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and stories with us. I admire your honesty. Wishing you all things good in 2006.

(Now hoping I don't accidentally post this comment 17 times!)

Bob's caption (and I a m probably not posting this to the correct place... but bear with me as it's my very first comment...)

"Admit it... you would if you could."

Hope you have a very Happy New Year! And beyond!
:)

i wish you a new year filled with glee, adventure and peace. and as i descend the stairs to our spidery-basement each day to endure the treadmill and defend its expensive existence, i will think of you and smile!
a new year is like turning a page, sista. a fresh clean slate awaits your new story. :-)

It may not seem like it right now, but it will get better. :)

I read your blog because of your humour, your personality, your wit. When I think of you, or when I look for your blog, you are not defined by your divorece, but by you, by your drive and sense. You write well, you keep me coming back. This past year has been a trial for you in so many ways, and you made it. It is such a joy to know that what comes next for you must be good..better..so well deserved. Can't wait to read your new adventures!

tag!!! list 5 weird things about yourself then tag 5 people on their comments letting them know you've tagged them.

Happy New Year, Laurie.

I hope 2006 brings you answers to your questions, happiness to your heart, and peace to your mind. You deserve all that, and more.

Liz

Who says you have to ever check the "divorced" box? I never do. I'm "single", and there is no reason you have to let anyone tell you otherwise either!

Happy New Year, Laurie!

Thank you for baring your soul here. I hope that the support that you get from your readers can help ease your pain.

You ROCK. Seriously. Your insights, as full of humor as they usually are, are huge and meaningful. You are so right about it being ok to be sad. Took me years and thousands of dollars to arrive at that realization!

Take care of yourself, and let others care for you.

I believe that when you are able to look back at 2005 with the objectivity that time will provide, you will see yourself as I see you: a person of great depth and sensitivity who is defined by your accomplishments in knitting and personal growth, your side-splitting sense of humor, your prowess as a cat-mom, your candid honesty - all this and not the fact that you are divorced. You are not defined by who you are/were married to, you are you, and that's been obvious as the whiskers on Bob's face since the first day you posted on this here blog. Go ahead, ask Bob! : )

May 2006 be full of the joy and happiness that 4 cats and their girl can stand.

Hi Purl-
I am in the process of getting a divorce--married for only three years, but still trying to figure out how to not let the big D define me. I'm pretty sure I'll get to it... eventually.
Happy 2006.

Like everyone above me has said, there is so much more to you than "divorce". Think of it as your liberation to Live Out Loud. Your perspective and insight bring something to the hundreds of people who read your sight each day and I'd like to personally thank you for that. For each laugh, each smile, and each tear of understanding.

Laurie Laurie Laurie, please think of yourself first as Laurie, wine-drinking wise-cracking lady of SoCal, secondly as Crazy Aunt Purl, needle-wheeling cat-dealing yarn-stealing lady of the the 'net. You should lastly think of yourself as divorced. That was *so* last year. Chin up, check for new vintages and melanges, and cast on for '06. Cheers!

I agree....lets ALL go on vacation.
I volunteer to be the next "just a guy I met one day." I'm just sayin.....

Laurie,
I'm just a comment in a sea of your fans, but I want you to know I've read everything you've ever posted, and you and the Yarn Harlot are the two blogs I read every day without fail. You are as funny as I hope to someday be, and you are one of the most talented writers I've ever read! Your courage and honesty are incredible! You WILL write many books in your life, I'm sure of it.

Shannon

P.S.

This is the first fan letter I ever wrote. =)

Happy New Year to you...and to the brood!

I hope that when your life shifts direction and you are not motivated by catharsis, you will still find time to share your journey with the rest of us. Through your walk, you have inspired, uplifted and made us all think. Little consolation to you, I'm sure, but such is life. You have given the world a gift and I hope you know how valued and appreciated you are.

Peace, love, strength and courage to you in the new year. You are a warrior. You are fighting the good fight.

--Jesse in Washington

hun...lots of love to you....happy new year. I hope to meet you some time!...we 'all 'd lucky to meet one hell of a lady like you. I'm keeping my eye out fer you in LA...go out more often.

This was a sucky year over here, too.

Hang in. Here's to a better 2006.

Transition is never easy. I hope this New Year brings you much happiness. You obviously have the strength to be whomever you choose to be, to have whatever you desire out of life. I rememebr it being all consuming much of the time. In actuality, my divorce did not define me, but opened doors that would have otherwise remained closed. That's one way to look at it :)

I think of you as many things: friend, hilarious, honest, smart, rosy-cheeked when liquered up, etc. But I really don't think of you as divorced. I know it happened and that it makes up a part of who you are just like where you're from and that time in 6th grade when..., but it isn't all that you are by any means. You are you and we all love you :)

Happy New Year!

I am just a lurker also and recently discovered your wonderful blog(I was drawn
to the knitting and cats originally). I also
immediately found your divorce thoughts
compelling because my ex told me a couple
of days before Christmas(this was in the
mid 80's but no one ever forgets that
time inher life)that the marriage was over
after 7 yrs. It took me 5 yrs later to marry a wonderful man because I took all of those
journeys and misgivings into consideration.
You WILL get through this but don't rush.
It will happen for you in small baby steps.
Hope 2006 is better for all of us.
cheers...

Oh happy, happy new year. It's great to read the rants of an OCD knitter. I is one too! Having sorta survived the 80's as well, do you remember, "The Safety Dance"? If nothing else the 80's were fragrant! Happy 2006.

I realized I loved your blog when I wished I had your outlook about 22 years ago (well, outside of the cats and knitting.....). I wasted WAY too much time with and on the "ex" which could have been better spent. Anyway, I love my life now, so it can definitely get incredibly better than what you may be feeling now. Life is a process so just get through the unpleasant part of this phase as quickly as you can and enjoy the rest.

Laurie, I am also a Laurie from Louisiana and felt compelled to write after reading your blog for awhile. 2005 has been an awful year for a lot of people and I wish you sooo much better in 2006. I enjoy reading what you write and I love your humor! You deserve better, girl, and I'm confident you'll get it. You seem to have a great outlook and, well, knitting and cats always help to calm stress! Or is that create it? Both, in my case.

Good luck and may 2006 and every year hereafter provide you with the true happiness that can't come from any nasty old ex! Kiss off 2005 and woooo-hoooo to 2006!!

Laurie--he wasn't just another guy you met. He was an ogre waiting to happen, and it seems it didn't take him too long. I wish you HADN'T met him, so you wouldn't be facing this new year with such sadness, but all I know to say is that time--it takes time. And that Evil X is going to find that Karma is SO NOT FUNNY!!!!

In the meantime, try to think good thoughts, drink good wine, think of all the friends you have out here, knit and love those beloved cats who would DIE for you!!

ALL of the people in your life will teach you something, whether you want them to or not. As a late-comer to your blog, from what I have read so far, it seems to me that the "just a guy" taught you that you are stronger than you ever knew you could be.

"eventually my story will be more than just I Am Divorced"?!
Girl, it already is!! You think Mr X has hundreds of people reading and commenting on his life every day? It's YOU. And it's all about you. And you're doing just great at being you.

Although certain cats may disagree that's it's really ALL about you. :)

I thought I would be the Divorced Girl forever. It was at the forefront of my thoughts, all the time, it was one of the first things I told people when I met them. It was one of the first things I told boys when I met new ones. Somehow I felt like I was deceiving people about myself if I didn't tell them up front. Then, after time (as in somewhere around 3 years later), after changing jobs (new people in the mix help matters - they only know you for you) I stopped telling people. I stopped feeling like it was my identity. I still think about my life with the ex, and the mistakes I made, but the thoughts are less bitter, less emotional, and I don't really think of myself as Divorced anymore. Just that I got divorced.

This, too, shall pass.

Hang in there, and happy New Year - may it be filled with all sorts of delicious surprises. :)

Jackie

Happy New Year, my dear! Cheers! It is going to be a great year for you full of experiences, full of yarn and cats and full of new friends and new happenings. Two books that helped me through my first year of separation (not divorced yet - a mere formality) were "Simple Abundance" and the first book by Sark - www.planetsark.com. I invited 14 people to my house for New Years Day ham and blackeyed peas. No one in my blood/marriage family came. The 7 that showed up, I realized are my "real family" - my new preacher and his wife, my old friend who shares lunches and book recommendations with me and the family of my best friend who have hosted me at their house countless times for TV and knitting. Jan 6 is "Epiphany" but epiphanies can show up anytime. You will have many this year. Things will get better and better every day.

Laurie. Woman. You are so, so many things, with "divorced" being at the very bottom of the list. It will not define you forever; it doesn't define you now. All the best in 2006!

Welcome to a new year. Everything can change starting this moment, and every moment thereafter. Life is an act of creation.

Happy New Year!

I hope 2006 is all 2005 was not for you... your on my list of blogs I read, so keep it up, I'm enjoying your journey all the way from the UK.

Personally, I find years made of even numbers much more pleasing than those with odd numbers in them somehow, maybe this is a 'good thing'...

Whatever the case, keep looking for the ladies with the funny hats - they'll always be there somewhere...

Take care

Happy new year!

I have faith that 2006 will be a much better year than 2005 was.

Boo hoo! 3 days, no new Purl. :D

Happy New Year, Purl! And I say this in the most lovingly way possible: Stop it. No wallowing. You have all the respirces you need for a terrific life, a better life than ever before, and you're already living it.