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November 9, 2005

A funny thing happened on the way to the vacation.

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Jennifer and I picked a vacation destination. Only... I can't tell you. Because I can't tell my parents. Because... the vacation destination of our dreams is maybe a little bit on fire.

On! Fire!

And as such, my parents will have a heart attack on a cracker if they think me and Jennifer will be out gallavanting around some foriegn country in a city that is ON FIRE and they will be all "I KNOW YOU ARE AN ADULT BUT YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO GO, HERE EAT THIS PIECE OF KEY LIME PIE INSTEAD." And I can't disobey the folks... I still owe them money that I borrowed to pay the stupid, slimy lawyer. Hate you lawyer. But I digress.

(Also, does it surprise any of you, having read this here website for any amount of time, that I would pick a vacation destination that catches on fire? You have seen my history. My bus is on fire. My neighbor's house/crackden is on fire. I seem to attract fire... or maybe firemen. Oh God please let me be attracting firemen, not fire. Amen.)

What I love about my life, and life in general, is that there is always a little uncertainty. On the one hand, our vacation destination which shall remain unnamed is possibly going through the worst period of violence, rioting and civil unrest since World War II. On the other hand, maybe we can get a hotel booked for really cheap!

And even if there are Apache helicopters circling the city and gangs of gun-toting youths ravaging the populace, we can take it. We're AMERICANS for God's sake. We get that kind of action after every college basketball game. In fact, as I write this there are helicopters circling downtown and sirens everywhere and something is probably really ON FIRE right down the street or maybe even in this very building, I do not know. On the one hand, it could be scary terrorism. On the other hand, everyone could be out gawking at a high speed chase/robbery/protest and that means the Starbucks downstairs won't have a line.

You see how it works. So, if you run a hotel in the City Of On Fire, and you're experiencing a drop in tourism, and you need two really great chicks who are used to a city in full riot gear to come stay there and pay a fraction of the normally crazy high price? Let's talk. Just don't tell my parents! And if you are a fireman ... well. Hello! I am coming your way!

Posted by laurie at November 9, 2005 8:30 AM