You've just discovered the beauty of the catered affair. Amen.

And paper plates are superior for signing.

OMG! What a teriffic party. I am so jealous :) Must've been cool to meet Annie in person. I am knitting a sweater for her and Drew's project...she has been really gerat.

Magic Erasers...I am in LOVE with them. I don't know what I ever did without them (probably just left marks on the walls until years later when I could finally paint).

Go you with the big dinner party. Love me some knitting under the influence!

I, too, love the Magic Eraser. However...smegma? Are we talking about the same thing here? Enough to warrent Magic Erasering? Ah, the stories you must have :)

Speaking of which, congrats on being a published writer. Huzzah! :)

oh, you have discovered my best secret. The magic eraser cleans eveything, it is the bestest invention ever. (well, besides wine and yarn and pointy sticks, that is)

It's official; you are a V.I.K.

GO LOOK! I just posted pics of my knitting for the first time ever!

That's awesome and I'm so glad you had a good time! It's good to see you back in the high life.

why don't my friends have drunken knitting dinner parties? i'm awfully jealous, CAP.

What a nice time! You all look like you are having a blast!
Don't know you but your blog makes my day every time I go there! Can you post what LYS that was? I may have to drive the 1.5 hours to the valley to check it out. Thanks.

You can sign my paper plate anytime, CAP!

Mopping is one of those things that I put off and put off, and then finally do & it doesn't take nearly as long as I think & then I ask myself "why don't I do this more often? It looks so good in here."

and then 24-hours later, when my floor has practically instantly returned to pre-mop conditions, I think "Oh, because it only lasts for a fleeting moment, and I'd rather go watch TiVo than mop again."

Ok read your blog again, you stated the LYS. Sorry, grief brain again. Thanks.
Oh, LOVE The magic erasers. Wish they made a Mop & the the floors might just get done!

If not mopping is enough to revoke a Southern Belle card, mine is gone with the wind.

Congrats on your party and first signing!

I love love love the Magic Eraser. One of the best inventions ever made. In fact, I have a bit of a crush on Mr. Clean . . . . of course, I'm pretty sure he's gay though. Ah, I think I've found the inspriation for my next post!!!

Mopping is overrated. As long as everyone understands the 5-second rule.

How lucky are you? Annie and signing your very first book!! And a dinner party where you didn't have to cook! And discovering Magic Eraser. Whew! Are ya tired? Sounds like a fabulous weekend!

I. Am. Exhausted!

I just finished reading the book and loved it. I must say that your essay was my favorite, even if I am a bit biased from reading your blog. When will you be publishing a book of your very own?! Also, could your hair be any more shiny in the booksigning picture? I am so jealous. Okay, I'm off to buy some Magic Erasers....Ciao!

Can I just send you a random book for you to sign? How about...

The "P" volume of my really outdated Encyclopedia Brittanica?

My huge Edgar Allan Poe collection?

My favorite, "Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love"?

The Kama Sutra? (I actually don't have that one yet.)

I am scared by the masked figure in that last
photograph. I'm sure it's a perfectly lovely
person, but masks (even hats pulled down over
the face) are too much about the scary bank
robber or psycho-crazy-knife-type-killer from
those horror movies.
Whimper.

Stilll, your party looks and sounds lovely.

Purl - I quite agree that le papier et le caterer is plus de fabu. However, if at some point you throw a shindig and feel like cooking - try red beans and rice. I had a red beans and rice party this spring, and all my miscreant friends loved it. You can make it up ahead of time, so you can be good and sloshed for the party... I have two recipes - for both carnivores and herbivores. I will be happy to e-mail them to you if you want. AND the dish is great with both red wine and beer. Can't beat that with a stick!

I use the Magic Erasers to mop my floor. Well, really just the spots that look especially dirty; I skip the rest of the floor.

My first pair of felted slippers were a bust, and were used by my husband as a floor-cleaning device -- he'd put them on his feet and skate around. So if the Fuzzy Feet don't turn out as expected, maybe they can be Fuzzy Mops.

BTW, I'm now afraid to leave comments because you know what a comma splice is. I saw "comma splice" in my daughter's 5th grade English book, and I swear I had never heard of them before. Then the next day you mention it. Yikes!

hahahah... comma splice. I'm a big fan. I like to splice 'em , left, and right.

Sounds like a fun weekend!
I'm with Samantha - smegma? Like where did that come from? Was it there before or after the party cos like umm yeah, I'm not going there when I think about it. Ick! I just did!

GET OUT!!! You had Annie Modesitt to your house??? And didn't mop??? I love it!

Unfortunately however, I'm too busy being jealous of you that I can't think of anything nice to say ;-)

That's just way too cool.

ok, this is dumb but, i swear that the wine glass on your table is from Pier 1. I have to know. I used to work for the *pigfuckers* company, and i have an unstoppable urge to pick out any Pier 1 merchandise in anyone's home.

Holy cripe...how did you get smegma on whatever surface you were erasing? And did you get pictures? Was it the cable guy again?

Um, isn't "smegma" just a catchall term for any unidentifiable gunk on a surface? Or does it have some sinister sub-meaning?

Wait -- don't tell me. I don't think I want to know!!

I got those wineglasses at a thrift shop. I'm po.

Girlfriend, smegma, or the for the yiddish(ly?) inclined, schmegma, generally refers to that which a boy releases upon, well, you know.

-D.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Um, just in case my parents knew what that meant, which I highly doubt BUT STILL, I changed it. GAHHHHHHHH.

Anyone care to be my editor? There's apparently smut involved....

:) Ahhh, ya should'a left it. Keep the peeps wondering. . .

-D.

Google it Purl... but not at work!!! LOL

Back in college a popular put-down was to call someone a "smeg-head". FYI, in case you want to incorporate that into another post or your next work presentation.

Could I use Magic Erasers to eliminate my pain-in-the-arse colleague? If so, I can send you a money order for a crate of the stuff.

Ah, it's no wonder I love your blog - knitting celebrities, REAL pizza parties, lessons in yiddish - where else can you get all that for free? And you make me laugh on top of it!

i watched tv by myself. and got drunk by myself.

feel guilty yet? well, you better watch out. this is jewish guilt we're talking about.

it will make you cry into your maneshevitz.

Magic erasers even wash off crayon...Trust me, my now 5yo was an Arteest.. at 2... all over the walls.. They are amazing inventions!
I cannot believe you had dinner with Annie Modesit!! She is like a yarn celebrity! I so wish I could have been there... Your back porch has the most inviting vibe with the lights and lamps and such... oh and a tip from me..... while consuming mass quantities of wine and knitting,step AWAY from the double points sister.... knit a garter stitch scarf, it is really hard to mess up...don't ask me how I know these things... btw I posted pics of my desk... I know how you love looking at the insides of peoples homes. Heidi

I too cannot believe you had dinner with Annie Modesit! She is coming to visit our guild in April...now if only I could figure out how to get her drunk at my house!

I was sitting here reading your blog and the comments, and laughing so damn hard I couldn't breathe. My daughter asked me what was so funny, so I had to explain smegma to her. So now my 11 year old is enlightened too...

Oh, and if they don't revoke your Southern Belle card for writing "smegma," they aren't going to lift it. EVER.

umm, the 'shmeg .... ' word, that's not what i heard it was/meant. it is icky, but ... you'll have to ask.
so, the knitting socialite! glad to hear you did not let the time wasted on preparing for a meal get in the way of enjoying the company. that's what take-out is for!

Oh, Laurie, never you mind. Your hair is very, very shiny and that is what counts. Besides - the archetype Southern Belle has a maid. Do I have a maid, Mom? No. So there.

oh, ha, anonymous was me (yes! I wrote all those famous poems!) I was just going to add that once Sergei gets his green card, the cotillions will be off da hook.

Purl, you are so cool. I will strive to be like you and not mop when my family comes for Thanksgiving.

i lurves me an official definition:

smeg·ma    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (smgm)
n.

A sebaceous secretion, especially the cheesy secretion that collects under the prepuce or around the clitoris.

Oh rats. You'd already change "smegma" by the time I got to your blog. Guess that goes under the "porn" comment.

Party looks fun and love your patio!

What a great smile you have ...

Ok, the word you looking for was actually "schmutz," pronounced with a vowel sound right in between "uh" and "oo." It's a wonderful Yiddish word meaning indeterminate grime, goo or gunk.

It's very multipurpose. As in, "Let's sit on that park bench; this one has some kind of schmutz on it." Or picture your Yiddish-speaking grandmother licking her handkerchief and grabbing your chin with her other hand as she says, "Hold still, darling. You've got some schmutz on your cheek."

Come to think of it, never once has grandma said I've got smegma on my cheek.

Heh - I think the word you were looking for (formerly known as smegma) was SCHMOOTZ. Pronounced just like it looks. It's basically Yiddish for dirt, as is "you have a little schmootz on your face...let me wipe it off" or "Ew, what is that schmootz on the floor? Let me get my Magic Eraser!"

I, too, worship the wonders of the Magic Eraser...it's the ONLY THING that managed to remove the leftover glue bits that would attract all things dark on the laminate floor my dad & I put into my kitchen and front hall. I tried soap and water and Goo-Gone among other things and NOTHING. But a little water and the Magic Eraser and the spots disappeared! Hallelujah!

Okay, I understand why the smegma line is now gone, but Schmook???

Okay, see according to my Momma, as long as you see your hairdresser every Friday after the age of 50, all previous non-belle sins are forgiven.

I sadly, am beyond all hope and no amount of teasing, curling or setting will ever help..LOL!

Sorry I missed you at Yarn Garden, had one of those nights.

Oooooohhhhhhhh! - can I get Magic Erasers in the UK? - sounds like they would be great for housework avoidance - and btw, even here, smegma has the official dictionary-ish definition that Lisa gave it (though I only know this courtesy of an ex-boyfriend)

Love your blog! - and my littlest daughter loves your cats! (more please)

Yes - I defintiely agree - pizza is the way to go. (Especially if pizza dude is a cutie!)

Anyway, I just responded to this particular entry in your blog after randomly discovering your blog one day and I've been reading it for a while!

I don't know why really but I related a lot to what you are writing about.

I am also trying to find out how I can learn to knit in a group somewhere here...

Keep writing! L x

OH Laurie--look how far you have come, girl!! I started reading your blog sometime in January, I think, and it has really given me many moments of pleasure...well, bordering on hysterics, is more like it.

Anyway-even though we really don't know one another--I DO know a bit about YOU--and I'm so glad you're doing GREAT and knitting with somone like Annie! Terrrific.

Still waiting for YOUR book to be finished, Sweets!

So, I was right about the identity of the Famous Mystery Houseguest? Also Cheryl, but I was first. Also Ellen, but she knew already. Hmmph, a little acknowledgment? Congrats on the successful Hostessing Event!

I've been to your blog a few times, and today I had to read your very first post. Skipping all the posts between then and now, I think you're doing just fine without Mr. X, fool that he is....Knitting IS therapy; keep laughing!

:O You had a party? With you? And Annie? Aw, man! I have to wait until January to meet Annie and sign books with her! Boo-hoo for me. :) I should have had Annie get you to sign a book for me!

ps- I'm Amy Pezzoni from The Book.

Magic Erasers Rock!! What a fun party - lucky girl!

love your blog-soooo funny!

I've had a cleaning business for over 20 years.
ANYTHING that cleans without scrubbing is good. The more steps you can skip the better. Magic erasers are just that-magic. Never forget the golden rule-if it's not dirty-leave it alone. Also, people without any cobwebs in their houses, have cobwebs in their minds. My word for the dirt of unknown origin is: mablunga!

Ah, I am so jealous. Looks like you had such an awesome awesome time. Color me green :) I so love the magic erasers.....I wait for something to get on the floors...walls...someones face..whatever, so that I can magic erase it ;)

I clean so infrequently that when I do, my kids wonder when the company is coming. Mop? That should be listed under George Carlin's dirty words!