You poor thing. However, as long as you are frying tech stuff, send some to good old Terre Haute Indiana and keep me from working.

OMG you poor thing! I'm in sort of the same boat though... Everytime I even remotely think about making copies the copy machine gets jammed.

And not the, let's pull the drawers out and realign the paper and turn the knobs and we're done, jammed either. We're talking somehow paper has managed to warp itself inside the burning hot plates and it threateing to burst into flames, back slowly away from the machine jammed.

The receptionist gives me dirty looks everytime he sees me carrying a stack of paper in that general direction.

But that may be because I insist on calling him a "receptionist" (which he IS) instead of by his formal title which is something lame and elaborate like "director of first impressions".

Go home, stop for some wine, and on your way,
can you swing by my work and touch everything around? Please.......... I'll buy the wine.....

Tootles~

Oh my. Did you tick off The Machine Gods? They can get really cranky. Offer them fresh batteries...that usually works. Maybe it's a sign that you should knit cozies for all the important electronics in your life... ;)

You're like me! It was scary when I worked in a lab with very, v e r y, expensive equipment. I cost my professor a lot of money... And it didn't take much, usually I just had to stand within a couple of meter of the unfortunate machine...

I would head home personally - and if you can...avoid taking the bus. As you know if that bus breaks down your fellow bus-mates can become vicious!

For the love of My Sanity, please do not use your Anti-Tech powers to break the internet today. Because then I would have to work. And that would be bad. And sad. And make me mad. E-gad. (okay, I'm done)

Anyway, loves you but still loves the internet just a little more and based on your day, please just STEP AWAY FROM THE INTERNET!

(Though please keep blogging. Sooo, maybe have someone else type??)

Last week, my boss tried to change the toner in the copier on our floor but couldn't get it to work. I said, "oh, I'll take a look" and went and fiddled with it. Didn't work, and suddenly there was powdery toner spilling out all over the place. I ran away.

Turned out when I fiddled with it, I turned it--and unscrewed the cap deep within the copier. And then I tried to pull it out and start over, only the cap was still in the copier, and I left a trail of toner everywhere. Oops. Sometimes you just have one of Those Days.

I have that effect on computers, too. Not usually on my own, but everytime I go to the vet's and either need to settle my account for that visit or schedule another, I cause their computer system to crash. I've done it to some other computers, too. Maybe it's my magnetic personality?

Lord girl, you are just not have a good day - though you brightened mine up considerably.
Go.home.drink.wine.lots.

Humm...sounds like a day just to turn around and go back home before someone does some bodily harm to you for breaking the coffee machine-o-thingy.

I am a techy kind of gal but last week...during a closing (work in corporate law) my computer fried. Dead!!! I got in here extra early and see what good it did me? Later on that day, my blackberry bit the dust (the new one is still on order). My cell phone keeps dropping calls and cingular just said it was my battery. THey replaced it but ...dropped calls still. So I am having a couple of weeks like yourself. Oh, but I did order the new iPod yesterday. Maybe that was a mistake?

Ah sounds like ya need to get out all your good luck voodoo stuff again. That and send in someone to bless all your home electronic gadgets.

See my misfortune in life is to never attempt anything backwards. Walk, drive or even knit charts flat (ya gotta go backwards) or it's a total screw up. Sometimes in my case it's a busted rear window, fender and even severed achilles tendon!

Hunny. A fun-size snickers? What is thier idea of fun, really?! B/c there is always just enough to make me want MORE. 10 fun sized snickers and you wouldn't give a hoot about those evil techy thingies.

-D.

puny, 'fun' size Snickers simply will not do after a series of trying events has darkened your day.

you need a block of chocolate the size of a salt lick. something you can just set upon some sort of pedestal or table or something and gnaw on without using your hands.

whole foods sells giant blocks of chocolate, and yes, i have contemplated the above....

"his mean little paw" - very precise imagery. I love it! Treat yourself to a "SUPER SIZE" Snickers - overlord of all the little "fun-size" midgets.

WOAH...your super powers grow by the day! Maybe you'll get a fancy new flat screen digital monitor equipt with anti-antitech installed so that there is no possible way you can break it. It could be for the best. Really. Except that you probably lost at least half a day of work??? With as busy as you are THAT is a real bummer.

Could you please come to my house and break my husband's X Box? I will give you an expensive Cabernet in thanks.

Oh, hi, I'm Valerie and I read your blog everyday and love it.

Damn, that did NOT happen all in one morning?! Time to give up and go home. Try again tomorrow.

Believe me, I feel you on the cranky technical issues. I spent 3 days last week with no computer. Guess what I found out? I don't do anything at my job that is not on the computer. Didn't graphic designers use, like, ink pens or exacto knives or something once upon a time?

If I buy you a plane ticket, could you come to my office and fry my boss's computer? She and technology do NOT mix, and it would be so much better if she were off email... and the internets... and pretty much anything else that is powered by electricity.

"Fun" sized candy bars are not fun at all. "Teasing" is a better name. I suggest upgrading yourself to "orgasmic" sized candy bars. :)

Your experience is reminiscent of the catch-phrase that haunted me through eleven years of technical difficulties encountered while doing molecular biology research: "Gosh, I've never seen that happen before."

Have you made friends in the Land of IT Support Peoples yet? It always helps to have a guru on your side.

Oh, Laurie. Did you cry? I'm so scared of technology that every time I bust something like that, I cry.

Perhaps now would be a good time to send a fax to Mr X, or an e-mail. See if your supertechbreakage mojo powers will travel through the internets and break some of his stuff. Is that too childish?

Jeeze Louise that was ever so slightly horrific. Our whole system/network/phone lines/ city power grid goes out from time to time around here, but I’ve yet to find evidence that it is specifically linked to me. I think it is the voodoo curse of Koreatown.

Go home now. Enough chocolate, wine and TiVo can fix anything. Come to think of it, maybe you want to lay off the TiVo at this moment, because that could be truly tragic.

Well, I don't think that's terrible at all. Actually, your new found skill is, I am sure, quite marketable. Embrace your powers. Market them. Rule the world.

Dang. Your powers reach across the pond, too, because my new laser printer is already broken.

Okay, what time did all of this happen? Our color printer died this morning. It was fine yesterday, but now? TU! Your powers are amazing! They reach Spokane, WA!!! You are THE Anti-Tech. You're powers amaze and astound, I must learn your ways. I'd love to control when the phone works!

Please come fondle my desk phone. It's ringing off the hook and I can't get a G-D thing done.

Not to worry! I've been in IT since 1990 (when I believe we called it computers), and there is a 3 part plan to break the curse.

1. Take as much aluminum foil as you can find and cover any areas where your work area adjoins others.
This is to protect their technology.

2. Have a friend or coworker who is not similarly afflicted bring you a pile of small, cheap electronic items whose fate is irrelevant. (pocket calculators, small digital watches, tape recorders from 1976, etc..)

3. Sit, in your aluminum foil prserved area operating those items until they stop breaking and work correctly for over 1/2 an hour (This can take a while, have coffee or other beverages handy. And have someone else make them)

viola! curse broken. :)

those snickers are good frozen...

Oh, not the caffeine source, too! We've finally managed to talk my advisor into getting a lab coffee maker, and I'd hate to think of what would happen if it broke in the middle of the night.

Caffeine aside, please stay away from my lab. :) I have enough lovely technical difficulties without the machines not working...the antibodies and bits of DNA cause plenty of trouble on their own.

Do you like Kiwis, as in people from New Zealand? I know one that I think you should meet. He broke three iPods and two powerbooks in a year simply by owning them. He crashed a whole lab of computers simply by walking in the door of the lab. Together I think you could bring down thi world of technology.
On second thoughts, I'd best not introduce you to him....
(I hope your day gets better and you don't break the bus or your car, but most buses are anti-tech and you've told us about your car....)

You broke my Cisco phone? BOOOOOOOHoooo!!

Sounds like a drinking night to me!

Technology sucks.

Even though my computer is already 4 years old and REALLY slow and awful, they won't give me a new one at work unless some horrible anti-tech death thing happens to it. Any chance you'll be in Boston soon? You could come by my work...then we could knit!

Whenever I break stuff at work, my boss hopes its big and broke for a long time, so we can go home for the day.

"fondle all their electronic devices" < that is a scary thought. The IT techs must be scared of you. At least I am ... lol ... Not an IT tech here just another designer, not sure I could live without my laptop. The PHONE you can have your way with... I don't like to talk on it :)

Hope the rest of your day was a bit better.

Your superpowers have me on the edge of hilarity! You always keep me laughing, but this was truly ingenious.

Note-keep wine in desk. It helps, alot.

OMG...you made me laugh so hard my fmaily had to check on me...very worried, they were (great now I am talking like Yoda). Between the Yarn Harlot and you I have span the spectrum of emotions. My day is complete!

Anti tech super powers! At least this way you get new stuff?? I think I've been gifted with the powers as well, the friendly guys at tech support accuse me of having a negative force field that seems to affect all things electronic.

We're two of the same-"anti-techs."
My hubby, who owned an electronic repair service, used to call me the ultimate consumer-I could break anything electronic, just by touching it. It's a talent. He'd have a customer say it doesn't do such-n-such, and he couldn't get it to mess up until he called me in to try to use it and wham! Also, everywhere I've ever lived has had electrical problems, and I can't wear a watch, it just stops, even on a necklace. I think it's polarity.
I love your blog, so funny! Keep up the good work (breaking stuff at work-except the coffee machine!)

Do you think your super powers would work in reverse on something that is already not working, tech-wise? I could send you my crappy crappy powerbook (which was formerly my much beloved powerbook) and maybe you could lay hands on it and make it better. You know, reverse psychology, but with technology? reverse psychotechnology?

But please don't come near my coffee maker. that would be ugly. i like your blog and i wouldn't want to have to hurt you.

ROTFLMBOUIPMP!! Is it just me or does anyone else envision you as Renee Zellwegger aka Bridget Jones when you are up to your "antics" at work?!! You should be copyrighting this stuff - it's gold! I think the Comedy Store has "open mic night" - you should check it out!

Lol, and here all this time we thought you were simply Aunti(e) Purl. hmm, perhaps it is dangerous to do the blogging comment and emailing with you. hmmm

can you zap my ex-husband's computer he's using? he tried to use my blog against me in court yesterday, and i think he needs to pay.

Dearest Purl,

Please lay your hands upon the ENTIRE TECH DEPARTMENT of my workplace, and cleanse them of their evil. All of our stuff is already broken.

Thank you,

Love always, your friend,

Shelly

That was all too reminiscent of my days at XYZ Company. I was always afraid of the coffee thing. Because sleep and caffeine deprived ppl can be very intimidating so early in the morning. Just a hint though: We had the same kind of coffee maker, but right above the hot water spigot was a little sign that said not to use it while coffee was brewing. I'm not criticizing you, just wanted to let you know to prevent another disaster. Possibly, someone could put a little sign on yours just to let ppl know how to use it. Hope that helps!!

Amazing sex with a powerstrip!!!!! OMG you made me spit out my drink I was gafawing so hard!!! LMAO!!! Clever, clever girl!!

If you could somehow work your magic where I "work" to shut down the building a'la loss of power, that'd be grand. Yeah, just make your way over to Jersey ASAP. I'm sure a bunch of us would pay to see you break a transformer over there. Another day off is awaiting us all!

I thought I was the only one blessed with these super-powers...should I challenge you to a tech-off? Or should we join forces & rule the planet? Or just each go quietly off to our respective corners to nurse our wounds with a bottle of vino....I think I like that option best - O my Gawd, how hi-tech has winemaking become? We must both pinky-promise to stay far, far away from all vineyards & bottling facilities!!!

You crack me up. Thought I'd finally comment about how you crack me up, as I've been reading without commenting for quite some time. Lurking really.

I'm sorry that you make everything with a energy source explode. At least you have an IT department. You'd be out of luck (and probably out of a job, and consequently out of a house, and food and wine)(well, probably not wine, cause even homeless people can always seem to find liquor) if you didn't have an IT department.

Do pieces of silverware slide off nearby tables and stick to your body? Do the lights briefly go down when you enter a room? If you hold a lightbulb, does it go on?

The only remedy for this is to go back to bed. Take wine and knitting with you.

I am the secret nemesis of all things HP. I bow to your superior skill.

I think a trip to the LOW-TECH YARN STORE is in order this weekend, wouldn't you say?

Thank you for giving me something to laugh at on a friday here in BIO-TECH land.

i almost made it to snb last night.

almost.

maybe next time?

*whimper* they let you have a calibrated, old-school crt monitor for your art dept.? they gave me a FLAT SCREEN. for graphic design! for PRINT MEDIA!! it's terrible. everything sooo fuzzy. like when you're drunk. !!

You should patent and market that power strip.

Maybe you could get a new job at a computer repair company. You know, like "The Cooler", but for tech instead of gambling. I bet you could make a small fortune!

Maybe they could pay you on commission: You go into a company and fill out an application (or some other excuse), then ask to use the rest room. On the way to the rest room touch as much tech stuff that your company fixes as possible. Leave your computer-fixing companies card in the bathroom before you leave. You get a commission on everything each company brings into your service for X amount of time after your initial visit.

Cha-Ching!

Don't worry -- that's happened to me w/the coffee machine/hot water nozzle before. It isn't permanent. Who is that crusty mug clutching guy anyway that his caffiene needs should take precedence over yours?!?

My new job (!!) has 3 hot water sources in every kitchen -- instant hot water at the sink, nozzle on coffee machine and hot water from the water purifier/cooler thing. Come up here and work!

You kill me! I sit at my desk, reading your posts, gagging on my laughter for fear that if I let out my laugh, I will surely be dismissed! Thanks for the laugh. I hope things work out better once you transform again. . . it happens to us all. ;)

I was reading an article once, and it had mentioned that people with high levels of internal static electricity... just makes stuff break all the time. Their watches stop, microwaves freak out... I don't think yours is this severe... you should think about researching it.

You need chocolate chocolate chip ice cream, none of that wimpy fun sized shickers bar. Go for the good stuff!