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October 5, 2005

More Reader Q & A. Then I have some Q, OK?

Reader Q: What happened to the blue sparkly hat you were making for Laina?

My A: Uh, I finished it. I sort of didn't count my gauge right, though and the hat? That's supposed to fit a human person? Could fit Giagantisaurus. So... the sparkle hat has been in a ziploc bag marinating in itself. I should probably rip it out but mohair is such a pain in the butt to rip. And it's not just mohair, it's mohair that I stranded with some fancy eyelash stuff. Perhaps some man-slave would like to come to my house and rip this out for me? And then maybe do the dishes?

Also, I'd like to take a moment here to personally say OH MY GOD LAINA I am SO SORRY that I am the lamest email corresponder ever, and that since this heinous project began at work I have done nothing but work, making me totally dull and boring, and also as previously mentioned, A HORRIBLE EMAILER. But I do miss you! Miss you! Much!

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Q: Speaking of EMAIL, who is Mystery Email Person and did you meet online and why did you not tell me all the details TELL TELL TELL MUST KNOW NOW.

A, Part 1: Hi! Hello! More cowbell? Please?
It's nothing, really. Just ... I got an email that made me realize I had never used this particular form of communication in any capaicty other than the following:
1) work
2) complaining to Jennifer about work
3) being the unwilling recipient of chain letters.

I had not realized there were even MORE ways of the techmology complicating my life. I thought for sure I'd reached the apex of complication when I had to program my TiVo.

A, part 2: Actually, I don't believe in Online Dating. Or really in dating at all (see: bitter shell of a human) but Online Dating just seems... not so much something that's for me. I know it works for some people, but I have to meet someone in person first, then critique their grammar later. (And also, for the record, me? Have you not met me? FOUR CATS. DIVORCED. KNITTING. DRINKS A LOT. Can you imagine my online dating ad? The veritable stampede of emails? Yeah. Right. Say it with me again: FOUR CATS.)

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Q: Are you really in a book somewhere?

A: Annie Modesitt, knitting goddess and all-around superstar, recently published a book of essays called "Cheaper Than Therapy" and yes, I am now officially A PUBLISHED AUTHOR, and therefore MY HEAD IS SO BIG I CAN BARELY STAND MYSELF, in fact my ego has to ride shotgun, because me! In a book! A real book! I hope you'll buy many copies of Annie's book and give them to ... Oprah. Annie needs to be on Oprah and be the first ever knitting person to be book of the month, and also maybe she could jump on the couch and proclaim her love for Patons Up Country and they would bring it back. (Yes, I am still bitter and mad that Patons discontinued Up Country yarn. EVIL YARN MARKETING PEOPLE.) Does one have to convert to Scientology to keep the good yarn around? Or marry Katie Homes?


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Q: Did you really quit smoking?

A: Yep. I quit cold turkey the day that Peter Jennings died. Haven't smoked since! As of October 3rd, that's two whole months smoke free. Unless you count the Valley being on fire and inhaling 20,000 acres of smoke.

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Q: Shouldn't you change the tagline of your webpage since you're divorced now?

A: Ah. the cruel laws of California. I won't be officially divorced until sometime in December, so technically I am still married. That's right, married! Except my husband is ... maybe invisible. And evil. Moving on!

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Q: I would love to hear your thoughts on Cracker Barrel and/or Southern food in general. Also, you are having a dinner party and can invite any seven people (living or dead), who would be on your guest list? -- Jenna from Ohio

A: I once drove all the way from Los Angeles to Yuma, Arizona to eat at a Cracker Barrel. I wish I were kidding you ... but I am dead serious. FROM LOS ANGELES TO YUMA ARIZONA. But I love the hashbrown casserole, what can I say? I love food, Southern fried food. I love it. And if the closest I can get is Cracker Barrel, and the closest Cracker Barrel is Yuma, Arizona, then sometimes these are the steps we have to take... HASHBROWN CASSEROLE YA'LL.

Seven people to a dinner party, eh? Sounds lame, but I'm kind of homesick for my family, and we could fill a table for 14. Oh! And can we do it at a Cracker Barrel? I know it's like the McDonald's of Southern food, but please? Anyone? Hashbrown casserole?

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Last minute addional Q: Did you know someone on the Washington Post chat was copying your writing and using it in the chat as their own? Seen here. Posted by someone calling themselves "Neurotic Too." -- from Paula

A: Uh... I don't know. That wasn't me. That's weird. Whoever you are, please stop doing that... Jen is a lawyer almost. SHE WILL CUT YOU WITH HER LAWYER-LIKE SKILLS. Yo yo. Word to your mother.

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And now I have some questions for you. Ok, really just one question. Do ya'll ever listen to podcasts? Or watch videos and stuff online? Or video podcasts? What kinds of things -- knitting-ish things -- would entice and enthrall ya'll enough to actually download a podcast thingy or audio file or video file? Do people really do that or is it just a big lie from techmology writers, like laserdisc and the metric system?

Just curious. Ahem.

Posted by laurie at October 5, 2005 9:17 AM