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September 12, 2005

No need for a guard dog here at Chez Wino.

When you live in a completely unnatural place like Los Angeles, you tend to forget that nature is all around us and even though we do our best to get rid of it, it is just waiting for its chance to sneak up on a person and EAT YOUR EYES. And then, EAT YOUR STASH.

And I know people who claim to like camping and hiking and other invigorating pursuits that take place outside the car, but I do not trust nature (it is trying to kill me) and frankly, I find that if I sit on my patio long enough with a glass of wine, nature will come crawling to me, or flying to me, and it will SCARE ME HALF TO DEATH, and yet I will be compelled to photograph it. I brave the nature, pretending I am working for National Geographic and my images will be the definitive work, the exposé, on the wildlife of the Encino patio region. And of course I can only do this while I am on the phone with Jennifer, because one can never EVER venture into nature alone, or dingos will eat your baby.


Jen: What is?

Me: I don't know... it's ... a moth? A beast? Jeff Goldblum finally fully morphed into The Fly?

Jen: Where is it?

Me: In the rafters of the patio, oh oh oh I have GOT TO TAKE ITS PICTURE.

Jen: Are you outside with it?

Me: ... yes?

Jen: This can't be good.





This is what I get for hoarding all the Up Country. Someone must have circulated a memo to nature, detailing the specifics of one very large, very tasty stash of pure 100% wool. Now there are huge, yarnivorous moths with eerie eyes hanging out on my patio, trying to chew their way indoors. Crazy moth beasts! In the wild badlands of Encino!!

And ya'll wonder why I refuse to go camping.

Posted by laurie at September 12, 2005 9:06 AM