September 12, 2005
Breaking news! The power is back on! Looting limited to the office supply cabinet!
Yes, you have heard by now... the power went off in Los Angeles. Normal cities would probably manage to live without power for many, many hours, but here in Los Angeles we like to panic immediately and cause big traffic gridlock in intersections, all the while honking and gesturing and talking on our cell phones.
As soon as the power went out, the backup generators in my building kicked on. A security guard used the intercom to FREAK US ALL OUT, because dude sounded FRANTIC, and frankly up until then none of realized the power was out anyway. I was... uh, you know, working. And maybe researching Rowan Summer Tweed patterns. Maybe. My computer never even flickered.
But after Frantic Security Guard let us know THE POWER IS OUT and WE'RE ON BACKUP and STAY CALM STAY IN YOUR SEAT DO NOT PANIC, I kind of panicked, so I took my opportunity to use backup power and elevatored my way out of the building.
In under five minutes, people were stranded in the middle of intersections, police sirens were blaring, fire trucks were all over the place, and most importantly of all, THERE WAS AN IN-N-OUT TRUCK ACROSS THE STREET!!! I have never been so happy to see gridlock, because I crossed Flower Street in the middle of traffic, without having to wait for any stupid pedestrian signals, and since people were busy being panicky and worried about terrorism, I was able to get a cheeseburger and coke in under five minutes!!
And ya'll know you need your protein and caffeine to be able to survive terrorism/power grid failure/gridlock.
Just thought you might like this breaking news right from the front lines of the action. No cellphones were harmed. One cheeseburger is resting in peace. The power appears to be back on. Traffic is still bad. Moths still roam the Valley looking for victims. All is well.
Posted by laurie at September 12, 2005 2:22 PM