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September 21, 2005

An Etiquette Lesson

Since I would never write on my website about my job, because that would be wrong and unethical, I thought I would write something about ... um. Someone else's job? Just from an etiquette perspective. Because what the world needs now is manners, good manners. It's the only thing that really matters.

Five Easy Pieces:

1.When someone at your workplace just spent their weekend plus 14 hours on Monday and another 14 on Tuesday busting their heiney on a project, and then you see said project, maybe it would be good to review Robert's Rules of Order PRIOR TO SENDING FEEDBACK.

For example:

Dear valued worker bee,
I really enjoyed your email telling me this project had been completed. However, I am now going to nitpick at things that will drive you insane. In conclusion, great sweater!
Person giving feedback

You know, a positive comment followed by a negative comment, concluded with a positive. Yes, I can thank sorority life for exactly two things: learning the proper way to throw up while wearing a toga, and a familiarity with Robert's Rules of Order.

2. Oh there's more. When someone requests a vacation day, because they are maybe about to LOSE IT with all the working and maybe they have started BEGGING God or whoever to please stop with the stupid hurricanes for a while and instead send us a little teetiny non-fatal earthquake so that work will be closed for a few days (and by the way, I know it's WRONG, and I know ya'll will blame all earthquakes on me, but I NEED A VACATION DAY) and anyway, when that request for one single day off has been approved, YOU CANNOT RESCIND IT. Not unless the worker bee in question is a CIA operative or something vital to world events.

3. When you walk up to someone's desk unannounced when they are obviously busy, VERY BUSY, and you walk up right behind them real quiet and sneakylike and maybe kind of SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF THEM, and then you laugh because you think this is funny? And then you get all defensive when the scare-ee gets MAD and tries to STAPLE YOUR HAND TO THE DESK? Yes. Well. Stop sneaking up on people. It's rude, and one day my aim will improve and you'll end up stapled to something.

4. Can we please please spread the word about the value of the spacer stall? I realize that you may like to be real close to those who potty at your place of work, but in a room of five empty stalls and one occupied stall, WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH would you choose the stall direcly next to the one occupied stall? Why? WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE, PEOPLE. Choose to use a spacer stall. Some of us have potty privacy issues. OK?

5. And while we're at it, let's bring back the courtesy flush. Because even though I have strategically placed myself five stalls from you, YOU STILL NEED TO COURTESY FLUSH.

That concludes today's brief, yet necessary, etiquette lesson. The world would be a better place if only everyone followed Robert's Rules of Order, washed their hands a lot, was aware of Public Potty Rules and made sure their toga sheet was not in the bushes prior to upchucking. All that ... and a vacation day.

That's what the world needs. Especially the vacation day.

Posted by laurie at September 21, 2005 10:32 AM