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August 5, 2005

Some people need vacations.

Morning phone call:

Me: Hi do you have the replacement XYZ Thingamajig I requested on July 27th? Because ya'll know. It's now ... um, it's now NOT EVEN JULY ANYMORE. And the replacement? The one that would be here in two days? Yes. STILL NOT HERE.

Evil Person on Phone: Blah blah blah. Backorder, blah blah blah, etc.

Me: Do you have something against little kittens? The cute kind?

Evil: Um, whu...?

Me: Because see? This whole thing? That you just told me? Basically means the replacement is Still. Not Here. And I will get FIRED. And my cute cuddly kittens will starve a sad, slow death. And I'm not saying it's DIRECTLY your fault, but if you INFERRED that it was in fact your fault and you KILLED me and my kittens, I would not correct you.


With long hours and tensions high and so on, it appears I have resorted to pimping the cats out a'la Jerry's Kids to get my replacement XYZ Thing. Maybe those cats will earn their keep after all.

Also, you know it's a pretty good week when you finally are getting around to writing about your weekend on... um, Thursday night. The Thursday night that is officially four days past the weekend. Oh! Man! That reminds me of this really awful thing that happened yesterday. Tragedy. I actually woke up in the morning and thought it was Friday. And I was SO HAPPY. Friday! The one that ends the week and brings the wine and makes me comatose, all curled up with an ice cream sandwich and four episodes of CSI Miami Tivo'd up by my boyfriend, whose name conveniently enough is TIVO.

And I was having tea at my desk, yesterday morning, and thinking about the upcoming Friday ice cream sandwich and wine and Tivo, feeling happy in the OH GOD IT'S FRIDAY SO YOU DO LOVE ME, YOU REALLY DO LOVE ME kind of way, and someone who sits next to me, now forevermore known as Joy Killer, informed me that it was Thursday, NOT Friday, and not only would I have to endure the rest of the day but I would have to do Friday ALL OVER AGAIN. And now, I think, it really is Friday. And I am so, so tired.

Oh, but the important part of that last paragraph? I am now a TEA DRINKER. Drew totally did some Vulcan mind warp on me and convinced me that coffee was the spew of Satan and also could contribute to my more-than-elevated stress levels, and he mentioned about eleventy-two times how it causes wrinkles, and ya'll know. He got me where it counts, in the vanity department. And I have officially become a tea drinker, even though green tea sort of tastes like steamed grass. Or steamed ass. Ya'll know.

So! Weekend! The one that is far away in the past! It was Karman's birthday. And she wanted to have a little get-together at my house. And aside from the fact that I had not cleaned an inch of house since, um? When was the last time I entertained? June? Anyway, aside from the frantic all-day cleaning that preceded the party, it was a mellow and laid back affair. Just Karman, Shannon, Alex, David, Me, Jen and Penny. Small. Mellow. Drunk. It was most excellent. I have pictures, on my camera. Although, camera cord? Missing! He'll turn up again one day soon. Maybe.

And tonight with the Tivo and the couch and the comatose? Not possible. Suddenly, there are all these people coming over. Including but not limited to: an aspiring lawyer, her underage sister, one (or possibly more) lesbians, and two teenage boys.

I'm just saying is all.

Posted by laurie at August 5, 2005 8:41 AM