I would not call you cautionary so much as (and I loathe this word, because it is touchy-feely, and I am mostly squicked out by touchy-feely, but here you go) inspirational, in the sense that Mr. X has been an asshat eight ways from Sunday, and yet you get more and more fabulous each time I come here. You rock, Aunt Purl.

Anyway. About the bacon? If you're ever in a quandry about what to do with literal bacon, as opposed to metaphorical and financial bacon, I have a recipe for broccoli rasin salad that is easy-peasy and delicious. And also, the broccoli offsets the POUND of bacon the recipe calls for.

You go girl!
IMO, many men are useless with money. Dunno why so many are accountants. Might explain Enron, etc. Women traditionally have held the household pursestrings.
And another thing? Debit cards are good! Money comes straight out of your account but you don't get charged account fees like you would with eftpos. When you don't have much debt left, get a debit card and use that instead of a credit card. My credit card is for emergencies and the odd online buying, simply cos I can cancel it at a moment's notice if someone is doing something dodgy/faudulent.

Oh my God, we are evil twins separated at birth. Oh. My. God. But, I *said* I was going to gain control and then I procrastinated. Don't fucking DO THAT! Actually, since I am still paying off my lawyer for a custody battle instigated by The Sperm Donor, I'm behind you in that, but I agree with you. If I can do it, anyone (ANYONE) in the world can do it.

Oh, and you have to change your sub-head on your blog to Divorced Woman!!!! CONGRATULATIONS.

I got coffee up my nose at the "flashlight" comment. Thanks!

Laurie, my dear, I want you to know you were there with me in spirit this morning at a job interview. You know how you sometimes say in appropriate things while you are nervous? Well, apparently, I do, too. I'll spare you the painful details but, during my interview, I mention both puke and adult toys. I guess I sort of fell apart. We'll have to wait and see if I get the call back interview.

me too! me too! my budget is helping so much
and i haven't used my credit cards in months. i don't even miss them. okay a little.

but i still buy things.. but with the actual money i make. and not more than i can afford. and i pay all my bills. we are so good at this stuff!

the funny part to me is that my Boy is so mathtarded that he has given over his finances to me pretty much. so i made him a budget too. granted it has a line for beer... but whatever. mine has "ebay" and "yarn."

i heart purl!

I want a budget - a real budget...but I think I need to find a job first. I love the indpiration and the -in-your face take control attitude. Must meet for coffee...

Oh! and LeAnne... my divorce isn't final until sometime in December ...California's waiting period. Like, you know, you're going to CHANGE YOUR MIND or something. Hah!

Oh, CAP! You are so wise. I'm so glad you're figuring it out, and helping the rest of us out along with you. No more crying (useless thing to do anyway!), much more boozing and knitting. You will be way more than OK. Say this to yourself 100x per day. 4 months to emancipation. You must let us all know the date so that we may hoist a glass in celebration for you! (Because, you know Canadians are not know for being drinkers much. We need you for an excuse. *Ahem*)

Laurie: You should know that you are deserving of a full-on PARADE with marching bands and baton twirlers and really cute drum majors leading the whole thing. Waaaaay too many of us just leave that little "fiscal responsibility" thing in the hands of somebody else, and waaaaaay too many of us pay a really shriekingly awful price.

Three cheers for you facing reality! And also for knowing enough reality is enough and going for the wine and bacon1

Holy crap, have I ever been there, with the "maybe I will cry" and "is there any ice cream?" And honestly, not having a credit card for two years (because I MAXED OUT both of them) and having only spend the money I made? Best thing that ever happened to me.

Though I must confess that I don't even have the excuse of having left my finances to someone else. I just ignored them altogether, along with many other things at the time, such as nutrition (did you know you can survive for over a year on nothing but cigarettes, alcohol, and the occasional piece of peanut butter toast?). But now I have apparently growned up a bit.

And apparently I have also learned to hit the wrong buttons on my keyboard before I am done typing. So, the conclusion:

Congratulations to you! And hooray for bringing home the wine!! I know how terrifying it is to face The Money Stuff, and I am so proud of you for kicking its ass. :)

You kick ass. and are my favourite. I am so impressed how you go through all this and still have such a great sense of humor. Go you.

BTB: In case you were wondering I totally use your spreadsheet! I even have it all customized and stuff and have a page for recording everything I buy. If I were not so embarassed of my spending habits I'd show it to you. Its exciting. Thanks for putting it out there. Cheers ~

This was very good for me to read today, since, though I ADORE math in a sort of scary way, and am also pretty anal about keeping track of my money, I did just have to go into debt for the first time ever with loans for college at the ripe old age of 25. I downloaded your budget thing the first time you posted it, and as soon as I get some idea of actual numbers, I'll be using it along with Quicken to make sure I stay as ass-kickingly in control as I am now. You=Awesome.

You are such a role model! Seriously, have you stopped to realize you are handling a divorce, quitting smoking, and getting control of your finances all at once? YOU SO ROCK!

I had to start carrying a mini-notebook in my purse to track those 'random' expenses so I could get them into my Official Aunt Purl Control Your Fiscal Destiny spreadsheet.

I truly appreciated this public service announcement.

Now, where were you about 5 years ago when I really needed to hear this? Before I got into all this trouble? *lol* I'm now getting my finances in order and am definitely going to use some of those tips you've so beautifully shared.

Happy Budgeting!

You are very brave and though you don't know who the hell I am, lemme tell you that I am proud of you for getting your debt-oreo-situation under control. This is something I have yet to conquer (can anyone say 80K in college loans? Anyone?) I did save your budget thingy. Great use of pinkness. Rock on!

Congratulations on the divorce being signed, sealed and delivered. And for taking care of your finances. I am definitely in the "is there any ice cream" mode when it comes to opening bills up...

Laurie, you inspire me. : )

No, really.

: )
D

I've been using your spreadsheet ever since you posted it and I love love LOVE it :D I know where my money is and maybe even I can be debt free in 24 months :) Yay for financial power!

Woohoo!

One of these days I should totally learn to knit. But for now I think I'll stick with the cross-stitching.

Aunt Purl, your my hero!

Bravo Aunt Purl!!

I only wish I had read this 2 years ago so I wouldn't be in the position I'm in now.

Although I am passed the "ice cream" mode I still want to hide and/or shop when the bills come in.

I cant wait to have my financial freedom back from Evil Ex!!

Hooray Aunt Purl!! Good for you for not merely identifying the things to do to financial independence - but having the DISCIPLINE to stick with it -like quiting smoking. I need to improve the discipline part. BTW - MR X must be a real idiot - you are funny and smart. Live large!

Laurie I am so proud of you! I wish I could be proud of me. Give me time....

Congratulations, for both the signed papers and the financial control. May both serve you well far into the future.

Thank you SO much for this! I am in a horrible place w/ debt too. Sad, really...I am really going to heed these words though. And thanks for the budget spreadsheet!

I know this may be a little hard to believe just now (or perhaps not)but, Mr IdiotX? May actually have done you a favor. He got OUT of your life, OUT of your way to becoming a kickass human being, and OUT of any chance of ever knowing the really good YOU.

He may have done several people a favor. Because, on your trip to adult humanhood, you seem to have picked up a few fellow travelers. Not many people can say: I made a difference in someone's life. From the comments I've read above me, I'd say you're not only taking people along with you, but showing them the way, making them laugh and knitting too!

I have a feeling your mom and dad are very proud of you. They should be very proud. YOU should be very proud. Me? I'm just in awe.

I know this may be a little hard to believe just now (or perhaps not)but, Mr IdiotX? May actually have done you a favor. He got OUT of your life, OUT of your way to becoming a kickass human being, and OUT of any chance of ever knowing the really good YOU.

He may have done several people a favor. Because, on your trip to adult humanhood, you seem to have picked up a few fellow travelers. Not many people can say: I made a difference in someone's life. From the comments I've read above me, I'd say you're not only taking people along with you, but showing them the way, making them laugh and knitting too!

I have a feeling your mom and dad are very proud of you. They should be very proud. YOU should be very proud. Me? I'm just in awe.

You are right on with all your monetary advice. I found that the first time I put every bill into a management program and saw the huge negative number that was my net worth, I almost swallowed my tongue. And then proceeded to go buy shoes as a I thought a little more debt couldn't hurt at that point. Sadly, for the past few years, I would be diligent on getting the debt down and then blow it on a vacation or electronics or a family emergency. I have finally gotten serious about it and have a plan in place to be out of consumer debt in 3-years. My school debt will take me another 15 years!

And since this is my first comment (I think), I just want to take a minute to say your rock. I have been reading your blog for a while and it is refreshing to have such a candid, real, funny woman giving us peaks into the ups and down of her life. Kudos. Plus you have almost inspired me to get off my lazy arse and head over to the WeHo Stitch n Bitch. I only live a few blocks away and have been meaning to go forever but I am usually wiped out from work. Or at least that's what I say. I think it has more to do with being a bit intimidated by walking into a room full of people who are already pals by myself. But you did it and so can I so I expect soon we shall meet in the flesh!

Thanks for the heads-up...I remarried, to the love of my life, who KNOWS he is useless with money, so these five easy pieces (and I actually know where that comes from, jazz fans...) are very helpful.

The asshat I was married to before THOUGHT he was great with money. Which is, of course, why I had to get help from the town government to pay our rent when we finally divorced...

Sigh. Rock on. Eat bacon. Drink wine. And don't forget to change the batteries ;-)

You want to feel better about finances and find a kindred spirit? Read the Shopaholic books. Hysterical and frightening. Although I am not as bad, I could sometimes relate, and see how easy it would be to end up the same way. Good for you! BTW-I'm holding up my glass of wine to a better year for you. Things are looking up!

Congratulations on all accounts!

Purl, you really are my hero. Although I've never had a problem with credit cards (I know, almost sickening, isn't it?) I HAVE had a problem with, you know, BUDGETING. Like, not blowing your paycheck in the first week and subsisting on ramen noodles for the second week. Like, no money saved for emergencies, so when emergencies happen, I spend many nights wide awake while I contemplate selling my body on the street.

Your budget has inspired me. Now I actually have a savings account, AND it has money in it. It's hard as hell, and I love you.

All excellent EXCELLENT advice! Good for you. :)

I have never been in this kind of dept. I have always been too afraid. Yes fear keeps me from going there. MY family could never help me so knowing there would be no one to pull me out of it has helped to. But I am very proud of you for being STRONG. One foot in front of the other. You have every reason to be proud of yourself.

The only place I can cut my budget is like the liquor or something. Or food. I think I'll just remember to marry for money next time. But you go, girl! You're on the right track.

You are simply amazing. Congrats on ridding yourself of both Mr.-Didn't-Know-What-He- Had-and-Lost AND getting your financial life in order. Tis true freedom...

You are simply amazing. Congrats on ridding yourself of Mr.-Didn't-Know-What-He- Had-and-Lost AND getting your financial life in order. Tis true freedom...

Dear Aunt Purl -
you rock. you inspire me. you make me laugh.
thank you!

fidgety

All you need now is a fire extiqishers, a good mechanic, and MR. X will be taken care of for you- by time-you will be surprised, believe me.. Good stash and good friends are what you really need and it sounds to me like you have those way under control---Congradulations!!-- (they sell small fire extiauishers at hardware stores)

Laurie, what a brilliantly funny piece of writing about a topic few people feel pleasure in dealing with.

I'm reminded of Mr. Micawber from David Copperfield. Who's famous line is too long to quote here, but which I will have to look up for you because if you don't know it, it will make you laugh. At least I think that's the reference, I've discovered we have a woeful shortage of Dickens in our house. Off to the library I go.

Aunt Purl Quite seriously you are a goddess. I am a naughty girl who owes alot. ALOT. I shall rethink my terrible ways. I vow to re-structure and stop spending. So much.

Congrats on getting debt under control!

Also, I totally understand your procrastination issues from you last post!

I do the same thing.

Hey! There's another Faith posting to your board! How freaky is that? Anyhoo...

You are wonderful and full of love. Bookmark this post for the days when you are ready to drive into a brick wall (as I have talked myself out of doing so many times it is hard to count) because on this day you are strong and wise and beautiful and you know it - as opposed to the days that you are strong and wise and beautiful and you forget that.

Love,
Faith

Having money in your savings account may be an important milestone but really those dollars are worth more paying off high interest debt (credit cards, vet bills, etc.,) rather than earning whatever crumb of interest your institution grants savings accounts. Lots more.
Proud of you, Crazy Aunt Purl!

I'm so proud of you, Laurie! I feel like I'm in a similar boat right now; I just started my first real, grown-up job with benefits and a paycheck I can live off and am so excited about paying off my credit cards and other loans. It certainly is better to know exactly what you're dealing with :)

Hmm... Your battery-operated devices have flashing lights?

GO! GO! GO! You tell 'em Purl! Amen! Wait until you start adding the cigarette money to the debt reduction!

And the thing about knowing the actual state of your debt, it's always worse not knowing and dreading than just looking at it. Better to give it a name, like $22,158.63*, than just have your head in the sand because it's BIG.

*Fictional number based loosely on the amount of consumer debt my husband and I used to carry in the old days.

Congratulations on all counts. Especially, on the financial control. I just want to add that once you figure out what you have and what you owe the next best step is to figure out what else can you save on? Consider reshopping your car insurance, you may get line discounts if you consolidate insurance with car & house and other items. Reshop your mortgage. Do you really need a 30-year? Or do you plan to move in 5 years and can save more with an ARM. Finally, my best tip for those with DSL or high speed cable...go VOI (voice over internet) for your phone. ATT, Vonage, Comcast offer unlimited local and long distance for as little as $20 a month. Our phone bill was 60-80 bucks a month, now it's only $20. There are tons of ways to save, you just have to invest a little time to do it.

YOU KICK ASS!!!!! And I mean that sincerely. You are spot on with the money advice. For years, I buried my head in the sand and let my hubby handle the finances. I was easily placated wtih shoe money but no more! To his credit he is very responsible but that is NO EXCUSE for me to live in ignorance. I feel like an actual adult and partner by being active and actually knowing things like the interest in my savings or how much student debt I actually have. As it turns out I have a VW Touraeg in student loan debt.

Hello,

In defense of magazines, they really can help you avoid larger purchases because buying the magazine to look at the stuff inside (instead of buying the actual stuff) can save you money. Oh, and you should always subscribe to your favorites. That saves you money, too.

SECRET-
The reason I'm in Afghanistan is cause there's nothing to buy here......and I can finally save money.

I didn't read all 53 comments before me, so if I am doubling up, I apologize.

I must relate a small story. When I had my first post college job, it turned it was awful. Awful in the way that I don't even know if I could write one of those 'working chick lit' books like the Devil Wears Prada.

Anyway, I needed to quit. And I did. And had a new job. And then realized *I did not have enough money to pay my rent*. I had to call in my stepdad for help (and a bridge loan). And he had me make a spreadsheet of my expenses and income. And then he had to call me to say:

"Wendy. Do you *know* that you're spending more than you make?" *And, I did not.* Even after writing it all out, I didn't get it. And I am an econ major. I work with money theory and stuff every day.

But, I had to have someone show me/tell me. So basically, what I am saying is "Hey, Laurie! You're not the only one." :) As my mamma says, "Better late than never." Right? And your learnings are spot on. They should be published and distributed to every high schooler in the world.

CONGRATULATIONS!
(on the money thing, too. but definitely the divorce thing.)

you have inspired me to get the credit cards under control. i read your blog every day, its awesome!

dude, you are totally divorced from reality. Haha! get it!? divorced!?

I mean by that, the incredibly nice things you said in your comments to my blog. I swear I just about cried, even though you are obviously wrong.

You are totally right about money though. I've done the same thing and nothing in my life has made me more proud of myself. I bought a f'n house dammit! In San Francisco! (a flat really, but still) Me! The person who was in massive credit card debt for many years! It can be done.

Hang in there. I know there were good things about Mr X and your marriage, but the best thing now is that it's over. :D

I went through a divorce (remarried since) but I can tell you you're an inspiration...Congrats to you for all you've been doing to get yourself on track and live your best life...

Your blog is fantastic and a wonderful read...

Congratulations.

Yay, Yay, Yay you! My husband and I are in the processing of doing the same as you. No more debt except our house, and that's deductiable(yeah, I can't spell) interest.

I admire you so much! I just don't know if I can ever ever get complete control of my spending--especially with the dreaded CC's. I stay home all the time to keep from going to a store and spending money on something I don't need. But then, there's the computer, and eBay and Amazon!! And I don't even work--just my husband!! I'm so tired of fearing the credit card statement every month, and trying to figure out how much I can pay on it. Money--is such a double edged sword, isn't it!! But I congratulate you on your "growing up" year, Dear. I'm 55 and don't feel nearly as mature as you are!!

Congrats! You'll be out of debt and spending money w/o guilt soon! 2 years isn't even very long.

What a great lesson! Every person in the world should read it.

i am so happy you posted this, because i jumped at the chance to steal the pretty pink excel budget you created back in.. uh.. earlier this summer, and thought "wow! crazy aunt purl has inspired me to gain control of my finances!" and i did.. for 2 whole months. then i sort of accidentally stopped keeping track, although i do still have 400 receipts jammed in my wallet for all of august. but now? RE-INSPIRED! i will keep going! thank you thank you :-)

Purl Gurl, you should take great pleasure in noting that there are at this time about 65 kickass responses to your post today, from people whose lives you have touched in some way. There are some wonderful men out there (I was divorced young with a small child; it ain't no fun). Congrats to you for not only surviving Mr. Fucktard, but rising above and becoming an amazing super-woman for all the world to see. I smell a movie deal! Who needs Bridget Jones' diary? We've got Crazy Aunt Purl's blog!

YOU GO GIRL!

You rock! Congratulations, especially on the almost-final freedom from Mr. X. :)

I was convinced to start paying more attention to my bills last year when a friend mentioned to me that she had racked up $20,000 on her credit cards, and now her interest payments were equal to her rent. I promptly paid off my credit card debt ($2,500), and promised to pay off my student loans ($100,000) before my 40th birthday (15 years from now). Then I'm buying a BMW.

So even more congratulations on your financial wisdom and freedom. There are so many women (well, people, really) who need to hear what you have to say.

Congratulations on making such wonderful progress, from what I can see, in various areas of your life. You sound like a woman on a mission and I commend you for sharing the info. Good luck with your goals. Looking forward to hearing so much more about your journey. . . and congratulations on your Emancipation!!!

Hey, good to hear that the finances are under control. To celebrate, go buy some more Upcountry at Paton's (on sale for less than $5.00 per ball!).
I know, I know, kind of defeats the purpose, but hey, you are saving $$, which is the responsible thing to do, right?!?!?!
PS-Love your blog. Knit on!

A very impressive list of things you've accomplished over the last year. Most impressive is the fact that you've stopped crying at your desk! Heck, I'm not even divorcing, and I still do that.

A very impressive list of things you've accomplished over the last year. Most impressive is the fact that you've stopped crying at your desk! Heck, I'm not even divorcing, and I still do that.

You are an inspiration to desk-weepers everywhere.

I did this too! I added up my debt and subtracted my income ... and realized I was indentured to MBNA ForEver! I made a spreadsheet and that wasn't enough. I realized if I wanted to follow a dream job (which started with a 6 mo stint as a seriously underpaid intern) the debt had to stop. So in the car driving away from the Dream Internship Interview, I cut up my credit cards and threw them in the back of the car. I still have all the halves and quarters of cards - someday to be ART! Cold turkey; no credit. Consolidated and now the only debt I have is a tee-eintsy bit of college loans left. Not even a car loan. (well, ok, I do have a mortgage.) Literally Tens of Thousands paid off - and so much interest Not Paid!

Another thing that helps: Find a Scary Financial Expert (in my case, my Father-in-Law) and explain it all to them. Not for their advice, exactly. But so you prep like mad (so as not to look a fool to the Scary Expert) and actually know your situation. Doing that cured me of the "Is there any ice cream?" feeling. If I could confess to my father-in-law what a dumbass college kid I'd been, no one could scare me about my finances anymore!

What great advice!!! Good for you for sharing what you have learned. Good luck!

how generous of you to share all of your lessons learned. i'm sorry that you've had such an unbearable year, but congrats on surviving! and thanks for such a fun read.

May I just say...you have inspired me. I have been completely freaking out for the last 3 weeks about my finances and how I have royally screwed up. You don't need to be divorced to love shoes and yarn and shopping. I have NOT used my credit cards in months and just recently decided I better put a total to this debt....YIKES!!! What was I thinking! I am no researching all my payback options and figuring out what I have to do. Daunting, but a necessary evil. You have made me less afraid, Thank you for sharing...even the excel spread sheet...I can really used that.

Congrats on all the progress you're making!

thanks for the spreadsheet. I finally saved it instead of just looking at it in awe. Maybe soon I will use it.

I'm going to think about maybe trying to have a budget.

Writing down everything I spend sounds scary though

I read you often, but rarely comment. I will be officially dee-vorced myself in about 3 weeks. While our stories are different, yours has resonated with me often...making me think, which is good, making me laugh, which is very good, and helping me face my debt, my spending etc which is terrifying, but very necessary. I appreciate you.

Dude(ette), you totally rule.

Wish I'd seen your advice sooner. All I can tell you is that I feel your pain and am also trying to become a grown up at last! You inspire me, thank you!!!

hugs
Rowan

good for you! i'm proud of you!

and by the way, love the excel spreadsheet. i haven't used it yet, but i will. i know i spend too much money on crap. but never yarn.

(spent 80 bucks on yarn last night...on a whim... it was better than french fries)

Mwah! Love your blog, know I'm gonna love the budget sheet, and super super duper kisses for the pink on it!! It's ok to shift budget funds, right? Like from food to yarn???