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August 24, 2005

Blame it on the cats.

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With jury duty safely behind me for another twelve months, I can get back to the beck and call of my cats and my job. It's a lot of poop. But someone's got to do it.

After Marnie pointed out yesterday that plastic knitting needles are allowed in the L.A. Superior Court jury system (according to their website, anyway), I feel less outlaw and covert, and I think I can show you my jury duty knitting without fear of being thrown in the pokey:

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Now that's a fair amount of knitting, especially if you include the seven inches of pure ugly stockinette I whipped out on the Mystery Cat Thingamajig. Thanks, Marnie for the L.A. Court link!! I think next time I'll print out a copy of the guidelines as proof (I also do this when flying but it doesn't always work -- if you get a Buster Big Pants TSA person, you are shitouttaluck.) I used bamboo circs and they didn't set off any alarms ... although the metal clasp on my official "Juror" badge set off the metal detector twice. GO FIGURE.

By the time I was excused from my civic obligation, it was already early afternoon and it felt wrong to drive all the way into downtown and start working. JUST WRONG, I tell you. So I went home and tried to unjunk the office/spare bedroom for a few hours.

Maryse once emailed me and pointed out that while I love to see pictures of other people's houses up here on the Internets, I don't post many pictures of my own house.

There is a reason for this.

That reason is my office.

It is a scary scary place. I suspect there is a fifth cat in there somewhere, growing out of the fur trapped between the piles of boxes. I fear that if I spend too much time in there I shall perish, never able to find the path to the door again. Like Hansel and Gretel, I have to leave a trail of post-its each time I journey into that part of the house.

It's just an everloving MESS. The rest of the house stays relatively neat and tidy, because all the mess is confined to this one room of packrattery, and in it are the remnants of almost a decade of marriage plus all my crafts, crap, files, papers, stuff, junk, and odds 'n ends. There could also be a leftover moving guy trapped behind the wall of boxes. We may never know.

Well, actually, we will know, in time. Because after the very successful First Ever Yard Sale, I became way more excited about paring down the office. For the past few weeks, I have unjunked a box or two during any spare time. Now there's just a pile of random crap on the floor and eleventeen million boxes in the garage for the next yard sale.

Only...

There are things. Embarrassing things. Things maybe you are SO SHAMED TO HAVE IN YOUR POSESSION that you are in fact debating about whether or not to KEEP them rather than sell them at a yard sale.

That's right -- items so pathetic that you are afraid for STRANGERS ON YOUR LAWN to see them.

But of course it's perfectly fine to share these items in pictoral form on the Internets with the whole world:

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That's right ya'll. I actually OWN both a MILLI VANILLI tape and a WHITESNAKE tape and I have KEPT BOTH OF THEM ALL THIS TIME.

You can see how I ended up in such a fix. I ... I blame it on the rain. And here I go again on my own! Going down the only road I've ever known! Actually, that Whitesnake tape is pretty good.

Girl, you know it's true.


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Posted by laurie at August 24, 2005 9:32 AM