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July 11, 2005

Up Country without a paddle.

I have problems, ya'll. PROBLEMS. With the yarn shopping. And the spending. Because do you suppose Patons discontinued their beautiful "Up Country" yarn just to screw with me? It really brought my hoarding issues out in the open... and that's all I have to say about that.

Oh, ALL RIGHT, maybe I will say one more thing: Notice that elann.com is all out of Patons Up Country even though it was on their "new" list just days ago? Yup.


But I am making all my holiday gifts this year. Right? And it's on sale, right? And I am going to need a warm winter sweater for when me and the cats and my cute shoes are living in a storage shed in North Hollywood because I am broke and homeless. Right? Right?

Ya'll know.

Aside from the Patons problem (which, by the way, is not even one of those yarns that makes other knitters go nuts! it's probably been discontinued because I am the only one who loves it! I may be the only human alive to say it out loud, but I love you Patons Up Country! And dammit, you are contributing to my abandonment issues!! How dare you leave me!) anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes! Aside from the Patons issue, the Chez Spinster Spending Cap is on nice and tight. I am sticking to The Budget. Last week I made my own breakfast and lunch and didn't really buy anything besides HUGELY DISCOUNTED yarn that has been DISCONTINUED and if I did not buy it RIGHT THEN I would forever lose my chance and it would be GONE and I would CRY. SO THERE.

It made me feel better that Ms. Sheep in The City and friends also had a hoarding issue, although theirs was with Cotton Ease, and everyone loves Cotton Ease. Patons Up Country? Who has ever heard of someone coveting that?

Crazy. I tell you.

I hate it when a company just ups and discontinues something you loved and took for granted, something you just assumed you'd always have in your life. This is all because of 12th grade when Elizabeth Arden had the NERVE to discontinue Bare Sugar lipstick. I was so mad, I even called the Elizabeth Arden headquarters ("Hello, I am SIXTEEN and this is the only lipstick that does not make me look like a floozied up tramp! Can you hear me! Give me BareSugar!") and I tried to organize other girls at my high school into a letter-writing campaign. I failed. They were all using Revlon So Red.

In retaliation, I never bought another piece of Elizabeth Arden makeup. That will show them! The hatred of a high school girl in need of her Bare Sugar lipstick is strong and enduring. Notice it has been EIGHTEEN LONG YEARS since Bare Sugar was discontinued and I still hate you, Elizabeth Arden! HATE YOU.

Patons creators, take note. I'm just saying is all.

Posted by laurie at July 11, 2005 8:01 AM