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July 20, 2005
Studies Show: We're all spoiled damn rotten.
Scientists have carefully studied the effects of heat on occupants of teetiny post-war era homes with poor air circulation and concluded that said occupants are still sweltering and have reached a level of desperation heretofore unknown.
In preparation for another stifling Valley evening, I misted some washcloths and refrigerated them yesterday morning so when I came home last night to Dante's Seventh Circle of Residential Hell, I did some minor cooling.

You may wonder why I didn't just wet the washcloths like a normal human. Well, I'll tell you. Some of the residents here at Chez Swelter are just delicate and particular.

The Sobakowa. She is hateful mad about the heat.

Roy, the Zenmaster, deals with dignity.

Bob likes pink.

Frankie, passed out on the kitty tree.
As ya'll can imagine, there is no knitting happening here at Chez Sweaty. Just higher than usual amounts of whine and wine.
The A/C repairman is allegedly coming today between 9 a.m. and noon. I have already showered and dressed up in as cute as clothes as one can tolerate in this heat, and I have some sweet tea with Mr. FixIt's name on it, just waiting. Because unlike my experience with Javier the cable guy, if this repair professional can restore artifically cooled air to my home I will happily fling off my clothes and make sweet love to him. I am shallow, I am responsible for four fur coats who are mighty hot, and I am willing to use every inch of sweaty charm I can muster to restore the air conditioning.
Four out of five scientists concur that this method will be useful. Field study to follow. Reports will be issued. Stay tuned. Science is so fascinating.
Now where'd I put that washcloth?
Posted by laurie at July 20, 2005 08:37 AM
Comments
Greetings from the normally cool state of Minnesota. I share your pain--in 95+ heat this weekend, I helped my neighbor build and deck on Saturday and then was part of an outdoor wedding on Sunday--How can one be exepected to look good when it is hot and humid?
Posted by: Mona at July 20, 2005 09:03 AM
Stay cool chica! Or come to visit. Our A/C works great. Cats permitted.
Posted by: Anmiryam at July 20, 2005 09:08 AM
Just think of it as a DAY OFF FROM WORK!! Woo Hooo....so what if it's hot, just relish the fact that you can do what you want, when you want and watch soaps all day!!! Have a cool one.
Hugs!
L.A. Ell
Posted by: L.A. Ell at July 20, 2005 09:16 AM
Sweltering heat and a hot (we hope) repair man plus the day off work? Sounds like you're in hump-day heaven! Good luck with getting the AC back.
Posted by: shananigans at July 20, 2005 09:23 AM
Have you tried plying the cats with catnip? It may numb their pain.
Posted by: mary at July 20, 2005 09:37 AM
awwwwww, if ONLY I had a/c to expect a (hot) repairman to come. Perhaps, I'll have to install a/c and hope that the installer is (hot).
Posted by: Valerie at July 20, 2005 09:41 AM
Thinking good thoughts for ya that Mr FixIt is a hot, nice, available single man who loves cats and understands the yarn fetishes. Oh, and most importantly at this point I'm thinkin', who fixes your AC ... TODAY! :)
Good luck!!!
Posted by: Kat at July 20, 2005 09:50 AM
Good luck with the a/c and the repairman!
Here in Arkansas at noon time, it's 89 and the heat index is 99. Our real temp is supposed to reach 98 today so can a heat index that high even be computed? You're the scientest, can it?
Even with your broken cooling, I'm still jealous that you're in my valley. Try to enjoy.
AND the sweet tea idea? Now that's good thinkin.
Posted by: MX at July 20, 2005 10:04 AM
If the AC man puts the moves on you, just sick Soba on him. She looks like she could take on anyone right now!
Posted by: Bad Hippie at July 20, 2005 10:05 AM
Another idea to cool the kitties: fill some empty liter soda bottles 3/4 full with water and then freeze them. Put them out on the floor. I once found my three cats practically wrapped around these things when I got home from work. I used to live in a house with no A/C until we broke down and installed it. Lost a whole slew of wine to the heat that summer.
Posted by: Jennifer at July 20, 2005 10:07 AM
My middle name is "Javier"...I'm just saying. ;)
Posted by: ~drew emborsky~ at July 20, 2005 10:10 AM
Crack me up.
Posted by: Christie at July 20, 2005 10:14 AM
you are such a caring good mom.I hope the ac/fixer is a hottie heh get it? hottie?
Posted by: cara at July 20, 2005 10:27 AM
Ha ha ha your cats are so lucky to have their well-being so thoughtfully looked after!
Posted by: li at July 20, 2005 10:30 AM
Strangely enough, that's exactly how I got my air conditioner back in June. I'd do it again in a hot second.
Posted by: NYCMouse at July 20, 2005 10:32 AM
I vaguely remember hearing something about putting your underwear in the freezer(NOT wet of course), don't remember if it was a joke or not but it sounds worth a try. Hope it's all over soon :)
Posted by: Vicki at July 20, 2005 10:36 AM
Here's to hoping that the A/C guy is hot and willing. *evil grin* You are such a good mommy to the kitties. Not many people would go to the trouble of the cool washclthes. So sweet.
Posted by: Becky at July 20, 2005 10:41 AM
aww.. the poor kitties! But they do look super cute with the pink washcloths on their heads.
Posted by: vanessa at July 20, 2005 10:42 AM
Poor kitties. Poor you! I would not make love to the Fixit guy until after he fixes the a/c and then only if he is cute.
Good luck! Hopefully I will soon be jealous as I sit in closed up house on the east coast, trying to stay cool!
Posted by: Kim at July 20, 2005 10:42 AM
I grew up in California and I know how hot it gets, you have my sympathy. Good luck with the AC!
Posted by: michelle at July 20, 2005 10:47 AM
Ask your repairman if he offers a guarantee on his work. As in, if this breaks again next week, will he come back and redo the work for free?
I was in an unairconditioned 4th floor (top floor - heat from a black roof, aaaah!) studio apartment with two tiny windows during the 1995 Chicago heat wave that left >700 dead. Bikinis, mist bottles, and box fan on "HI" got me through it. Good luck!
Posted by: June at July 20, 2005 10:54 AM
i know it's hot ... but is it hot and humid?
Posted by: maryse at July 20, 2005 10:55 AM
the heat in hell is worse, i hear, so i better get used to it. :)
Posted by: kendra at July 20, 2005 11:15 AM
Feel for you and the kitties. Love the pictures of them with their individual washclothes!
Posted by: taral at July 20, 2005 11:19 AM
here's hopin he doesn't look like this!
www.appliancedepot.com/.../ applianceservice.cfm
Posted by: kathy at July 20, 2005 11:31 AM
Hi there from normally freezing-my-arse-off-foggy-vitamin-D-deficient-Nova Scotia. Today it is 37 degrees C with the humidex (what the hell is that in F? Hold on...ok, it's 98). This is after 21 days straight without sunshine in May. We can't win. I realize I haven't a leg to stand on compared to you southerners. However, I too live in a small postwar era home. Our bedroom is in the loft. No air conditioning. So I will whine if I want to.
Poor kitties. I keep giving my golden retriever ice cubes to chew. You know it must be hot if my dog lays on her back or hides from me when I say, "does sophie want to go outside/for a walk?"
Posted by: Moe at July 20, 2005 12:20 PM
I'm spreading your blog like a nasty cold to my coworkers. Hope you don't mind. :)
Posted by: rayleen at July 20, 2005 01:36 PM
I'm spreading your blog like a nasty cold to my coworkers. Hope you don't mind. :)
Posted by: rayleen at July 20, 2005 01:37 PM
Don't forget ice water in the kitty's water dish.
Good luck!
Posted by: Nancy France at July 20, 2005 01:41 PM
Just make sure the cats are drinking plenty of water. They will be fine.
Posted by: art at July 20, 2005 01:51 PM
Okay, it's just after 2 p.m. in SoCal. It's 101F where I am (not in the Valley, but in OC). IS THE A/C FIXED YET?!?! I can't imagine the hell you and your kitties are in. Keeping my fingers crossed you are in coolness now!
Posted by: Sharon at July 20, 2005 02:19 PM
I love the fact that in spite of the heat and humidity y'all are color coordinated. After all one must have some genteel qualities abounding even when one is facing a total meltdown.
Hope your AC gets fixed soon and that you don't run out of ice cubes for your sweet tea in the meantime.
Posted by: Mira at July 20, 2005 02:42 PM
Apparently it's currently 7C (45F) at 8am here in Sydney, Australia.
Come on over ;)
Posted by: Donna at July 20, 2005 03:08 PM
I feel your pain!! Our AC went out this past weekend. Our thermostat in here actually said 100 degrees! It was horrible. Good luck keeping the kiddos cool, and I'm wishing rapid thoughts to your repairman!!
Posted by: Bethro at July 20, 2005 04:15 PM
Sobo looks ready to pop!
Posted by: cheryl at July 20, 2005 05:59 PM
Poor kitties. Poor You! And I hear there's a heat wave in CA. But I'm impressed by the fact that you have four matching washcloths. I'm sending cool thoughts your way and I hope your AC gets fixed real soon.
Posted by: Julie at July 20, 2005 08:09 PM
I feel your pain -- having been in your shoes at various times in my homeownership. This piece of writing was fabulous and I must say I read it twice for enjoyment.
Hope you are cooler as we "speak."
Posted by: Pam at July 20, 2005 08:31 PM
"...hateful mad..."
I love it.
Posted by: Eklectika at July 20, 2005 11:10 PM
Ah Yes. I remember the scorched Valley earth well. Thank God here in H-Wood it's much cooler [insert sarcasm here]. Luckily my window mounted A/C manages to properly cool a 3'X 3' space infront of it...problem is: I don't fit in said space(trust me, I've tried). So I live on a solid diet of frozen Caprisuns and take three cold showers a day. Of course I don't have furry children who evidently only sweat through their paws:
http://amos.indiana.edu/library/scripts/catheat.html
OK, I'm a total nerd. A sweaty, well showered, caprisun eating nerd. Hope by now you're basking in the icy presence of a fixed A/C and warming up the merlot in your tummy.
Posted by: Tom at July 20, 2005 11:28 PM
*wave*
Okay, so this is a ways down here, we'll see if you get to it, I know it's a freaking meme...but you're my longshot tag...and every girl needs a longshot!
id·i·o·syn·cra·sy
Pronunciation Key
n. pl. id·i·o·syn·cra·sies
A structural or behavioral characteristic peculiar to an individual or group.
Write down five of your own personal idiosyncracies. Then, if you wish, tag five people from your live gerbil or friendslist to do the same.
Muahahahaha
Posted by: Azuredrake at July 21, 2005 04:09 AM
I just found your blog and it is fantastic! I started blogging largely because I am the only person I know that knits. For some reason, people get really bored with me when I start talking about why I hate chenille, Elizabeth Zimmermann, gauge problems, etc. I suspect that we may be kindred souls -- I think it was the pictures of the bookshelves and the knitting accompanied by the bottle of Newcastle. Anyway, looking forward to reading more!
Posted by: Laura at July 21, 2005 07:15 AM
Poor Sobakawa. He looks so PISSED! It's so hard being a kitty in the heat.
Posted by: Jean at July 21, 2005 08:48 AM
Y'all look pretty darn cute with pink washcloths on your heads! But I hope the more traditional electical method of A/C kicks in soon.
Posted by: Kathy at July 21, 2005 10:33 AM
love it!! cooling the kitties. so sweet of their momma. hey -- did you get the ROY license plate pic that i sent you via email last week?
Posted by: stacyo at July 21, 2005 02:11 PM
Shave your pussy...er cat. That will make them feel cooler.
Posted by: haji-o-matic at July 26, 2005 04:57 AM







