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July 1, 2005


Uh, yeah, about that thing? That I had to go do? With the law?

Pretty much it couldn't have gone worse. After about twenty minutes it became very clear: if the judge stipulated that I would immediately have to remand all the cats and all my cute shoes into the custody of Mr. X, it would just be par for the fucking course.

It's kind of still at that place where you can't really laugh about it yet. But it went something like this: "And also you, Ms. Purl, Ugly Female Respondent trying to get anything from this man who left you, much like I left my Ugly Wife for a younger woman, anyway, you have to immediately hand over posession of every good thing you ever buy from now on to the ownership of one Mr. X and if I could jail you for being a woman, then I would!" So ya'll know. It's a crap shoot. It happens.

Anyway, I'm going to take a little break to wrap my mind around it and I'll see ya'll on July 5th. Enjoy our nation's birthday and remember: all those little American flags? They sprung fully formed from the brain of A WOMAN. I love you, Betsy Ross. Sure, historians have tried to strip us of the Betsy Ross story for years, g-ddamn woman haters, but I BELIEVE. She had a needle and thread and a great idea and she sewed it right up between her knitting projects and doing the laundry, and ya'll know the only reason she didn't knit up a flag was because they didn't have good acrylic blends back then.

I named my first kitten Betsy Ross when I was six years old. Talk about foreshadowing.

Posted by laurie at July 1, 2005 11:00 AM