I completely understand. 3 years after the divorce and I'm still paying off the marriage debt. A plan helps...a lot. I could sleep after the plan was created. Good Luck!

Having a plan is Good. Things may still be bugass crazy, but having a plan means you can sleep at night. And you can look forward to shoe-buying times to come.

oooh, you sound just like me da. And I promised *him* that i'd sort out mr excel too. But after sale time, K?

meanwhile, why do these banks insist on employing artistes with no financial understanding? And then making matters worse by offering staff rates? They're fookin' pushers is what they are.

Good for you with the plan and the spreadsheet and the wine!

Cannot believe that Bob reads Star Magazine!!! How cool is that?

hiya- may i reccomend The Tightwad Gazette? it's a book about curtailing spending. i checked it out of the library (again with saving money!). being unemployed, i have made it my mission to stop spending needlessly. hope it helps!

hee hee heee, you said "sucks"....

Congratulations on drawing up a budget. Thats something I've never been able to do. I mean, I now that I owe "approximately" $x on my student loan, $x to visa & $x on my car loan but I have still never been able to make myself sit down, add it all up & put together a plan to rid myself of the sinister debt. It does definitely suck. And the thing is that I too work in the financial industry yet am not able to keep a balanced checkbook.

Girlfriend, I hear you. I AM in the situation of having a man to take care of me right now, but let me tell you, I hate it. I've gone from self-sufficient to totally dependant while in school, with him paying all the bills and me working in some crap retail job because it's all I can handle with full-time school. So the job is over, I've got another two months before the grad school starts paying me, and what do I do with my last two hundred dollars? Yarn. And thrift store purchases, mostly sweaters (for the yarn). Pathetic. I'm your age, and my mom still sends me money. Betcha I'll spend that on yarn!

Yay! Glad you are watching out for your financial health. And thanks for sharing the Excel template. I'm going to work on my budget, too, because I have a horrifying nightmare that I'll be an old bag lady with not even a storage shed to live in, but many plastic bags of yarn and fibers.

Congrats, Laurie. Having a plan is totally half - no, most - of the battle.

Here's something scary and weird to take your mind off the issue: I had a dream about you last night. We were at some sort of rogue blogger forum in LA, and you invited me to your house and were totally nice and I played with your cats and everything. And then, because it was a dream, and these weird things happen, you went to the bathroom and came back and forgot I was there and asked me repeatedly, "WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?" and no matter how many times I tried to explain why I was in your kitchen drinking tea, you wouldn't believe me.

A dream turned nightmare, I tell you!

Good luck with Mr. Excel. I *love* Excel, but have discovered MicroSoft Money, which is also faboo, since it gives you graphs and stuff. I can't balance a checkbook, but I do like tracking my spending...weird, eh?

Congrats, Laurie. Having a plan is totally half - no, most - of the battle.

Here's something scary and weird to take your mind off the issue: I had a dream about you last night. We were at some sort of rogue blogger forum in LA, and you invited me to your house and were totally nice and I played with your cats and everything. And then, because it was a dream, and these weird things happen, you went to the bathroom and came back and forgot I was there and asked me repeatedly, "WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?" and no matter how many times I tried to explain why I was in your kitchen drinking tea, you wouldn't believe me.

A dream turned nightmare, I tell you!

For chrissake, sorry about the double post. I'm not THAT big of a stalker. Something...freaked on my machine. Lurvely.

JONNA, who are YOU and why are you on my BLOG?? hahahahahaha OK that is too funny. I promise if you come over I'll be real nice and not freakout on you!!

Holy crap. I have a whopping $17 a month left after all my budgeted expenses. At this rate, I should be able to retire in time for my 100th birthday.

With a PLAN it will work. Promise. If you ever, ever need a spreadsheet, just call. I am a spreadsheet queen!

As I am spending more time than I care to think these days cleaning out all the stuff I HAD TO HAVE to be happy, I am once again reminded that despite the desire to shop, new stuff does not happiness make. Still, my yarn stash is a constant reminder that I don't take my own advice.

(Says she who's just back from Famous Footwear. While stuff does not spawn happiness, wearing my overstuffed tush with me everywhere is making me actively unhappy, so new running shoes are, in this case, the true key to happiness.)

Check you out, with the amazing courage and the financial planning! Way to go! I hope Mr. Excel puts a gnome in your wallet to help you fight off the lure of the cute shoes.

I thought of your blog yesterday as I finished my first-ever knitted hat. Now I have become some kind of dpn fool - I'm actually knitting socks, can you believe it? And wow, are socks fun.

Anmiryam... I keep trying to tell myself that, the new stuff won't make me happy, and I'm piled in under all my old stuff as it is!

I'm reading this book right now called "Scaling Down" and it's helping. I'm going to try to take a few months off from power-shopping. I think getting out of debt will make me happier than anything I could buy.

I too have used a ziplock baggie as a money purse. For weeks on end. I called it my $400.00 purse because as I would be out SHOPPING for a new coin purse, I would find yarn, a suede skirt, a leather computer bag and a poncho that I had to have! I spent so much money looking for a coin purse, I gave up. Went back to my old wallet. Sigh. Keep up with Mr. Excel, he's good.

I was never a big spender, but I read a few books several years ago that really did change my life. I checked them all out of the library (always looking for ways to save). Voluntary Simplicity, Your Money or Your Life, Affluenza, Tightwad Gazette. Despite what Alan Greenspan might say, it's a good thing to save and not be in debt. Good luck with the budget.

Laurie, sweet pea, why do we share a brain? I swear, it's all Cinderella's fault. Someday my prince shall come... heh. Anyway, good luck with that budget thingie.

i too have just discovered this "budget"! yours is more complicated looking than mine, but then you had indigenous bank people to help with The Math. lucky you.

on another note... Purl!!! pay attention to me! i need friends within a reasonable radius. *puppy eyes* friends are free (Budget approved!)

hmmmm This budget thingy, does it involve math? Would I actually have to balance my checkbook? That is scary. I can't remember the last time that I actually balanced my checkbook. I do know that I had to turn my register over to a lady at the bank to figure out where my boo boo was. Plus, I don't write checks very often. I use a debit card. Did I ever tell you that the first time I went to school was to be an accountant? roflmao One good whap on the head can change everything. Now all I want to do is play with yarn. Maybe I'm having an identity crisis. Can I be one of your cats? hehe

Yeah that Mike Excel is a good guy. Thanks to Mr. Gates for introducing him...he really gets around.

Laurie, I have that same shopping thing....if I am depressed...SHOP SHOP SHOP.

Things will work out sister... we are all behind you...unfortunately, most of us are enablers, but we are still behind you and love you.

So whip out that sweet tea and lots of ice and have one on me!!

Cheryl

Good for you with the plan thing. Personally, I don't want to know what I spend on yarn and shoes, it'd be way too scary, so I applaud your courage!
As always, thanks for the laugh.

Hi, Laurie! When I kicked my Mr. X. out, I hooked up with Profina Debt Solutions (that debt-consolidation company aka In-Charge Debt Solutions). They hooked me up with a strict budget plan, during which I would pay off my insane credit card debt in 5 years, as opposed to 25. Now, I'm not saying it's been fun, but I have 1 year left to go on the plan, and I'm almost debt-free. It's something to consider, at least. It took me a long time, and lots of advice from my banker dad, but I think I'm finally getting somewhere stable...somewhere where buying a little bit of yarn each month isn't going to upset the applecart and neccessitate eating beans from a can for the rest of the month.

I'm proud of you. Now for the important question: Will you one day maybe share with us how you make fried chicken? Jen mentioned in her blog that she went over to your house for some and it was deelicious and it involved soaking in buttermilk. The chicken, not y'all personally. I am embarassed to say I have never learned how to make fried chicken, though I can make a mean cornbread and fried okra.

I have a financial planner to help with the budgeting and the paying off of the debt.

Much needed because I, like you, took that 9/11 go shopping thing as a personal invitation.

Bought an Amtrak ticket, booked a hotel room for two nights in Times Square, sat in the front row for a Broadway show, and patronized every street vendor and 5th Avenue shop I could find.

I'm still paying off the debt.

"And the thing is that I too work in the financial industry yet am not able to keep a balanced checkbook." ~ posted by vanessa

I can relate. I keep promising myself that I'll balance something - my checkbook, my consumption of chocolate to veggies, my life,...but it's hard. Really hard.

I guess I'll have to look into this thing you call a budget.

A book you must have: Money something something for the Young, Fabulous and Broke by Suze whatsherface (I. Have. Lost. My mind.) I just finished it and it's GOOD. It explains IRAs and saving and debt and all that crap and it's very easy to read and there are nice colors inside, like green.

Good for you! I only recently bit the bullet like you did and decided to actually understand my finances. It is terrifying and liberating, to be sure. My dad raised us with zero money sense, basically telling us that as children we didn't need to know about that stuff... Only, we didn't stay children and it never occurred to him to clue us in. I damaged my finances BAD with those credit cards that would literally just show up in my mailbox at college and it took me years to get my act together. And now that my husband and I bought a house we're in more debt than ever, but at least we understand it and we have a plan. But enough about me, let's talk about me! :)

The point of my story is, even though I've never met you, I feel like I like you very much and I'm really happy for you and your plan to take your life by the balls and make it work. The end.

Dudette!!! Thanks for the spreadsheet! That's awesome! I'm in serious need of a budget. Course, will it be wrong if I set my shoe allowance each month to more than my food and gasoline allowance??! ;)

I wish there was a knitalong for getting out of debt! My student loans and the debt I racked up taking care of my dad in his last year are skyhigh! I'm working on it and saving a bit for retirement each paycheck (I'm 31 now), but it's tough!

Keep workin' at it. You'll get there!

Lol! I was just perusing Zappo's when a friend said you had a new post. Ah...the lure of cute shoes.

Shoes and yarn are my downfall when it comes to staying on budget! Sometimes it's a toss up between a new pair of shoes or more yarn.

Kat, it's not wrong if it's in the budget! heh.

Ahh! I thought that I was the only one with that EVIL reverse psychology shopping brain! What is that!? I call it self destruct shopping.

Being a ludite I can't bare to face the evil Mr. Excel but let me tell you that keeping an old fashioned ledger of monthly bills made all the difference in the world and I'm actually gonna see the light at the end of this tunnel. Also eventually the fear of the Shed will sink in and you won't want to shop. I keep telling my self...

Value.. hoop skirts.. risque!

You can get out. I got out. It took FOREVER, and it was hard, but having a plan is the Key. It's probably the hardest part. You can do it, and yes, being debt free is more wonderful and satisfying than any shoes (and I luvs my shoes!) you can buy.

Suze Orman is my personal goddess. She has shown me the way to financial freedom. I love and worship her and her frosted tips.

Thanks Aunt Purl! I actually downloaded your spreadsheet. Now if I wasn't too terrified to actually fill it in! You are a brave woman. Enjoy spinsterhood, though. I know what I'm talking about.

I'm pretty sure I could rationalize wine as part of the food expenses, shoes as part of the office expenses (you know...because you wear them to the office) and yarn as a therapy expense (or medical expense). That would make yarn and shoes write-offs. Sweet!

tara-l, please oh please start a blog, girl. NOW. heh heh.

I do have to admit that there was one book that helped me out A LOT... Smart Women Finish Rich by David Bach. He gives a lot of good realistic financial and investment advice, explains the different between the different types of retirement accounts and the such and it did help me to put more into my 401k and how to invest my 401k but I still cant stick to a budget or cutback on my starbucks habit.

The whole idea is relativly pleasing, notwithstanding the fact that it scares the holy be-Jesus out of me. Is there truly enough wine to start this process?

Oooo...drink the wine *after* entering the numbers. Trust me on this one. Neat sheet. Hopefully, I'll have a job & money to put into it next month (unemployment kinda kills the whole point. Blech.)

Really, the spending urge, it's genetic. I read a book once called Mean Genes, all about how evolution and human genes screwed us over for living in the modern world. When humans evolved into their current state, the only currency that counted was food, and since you can't stick food away in a bank to gain interest, the best way to make food work for you and continue to work for you was to eat it all before it spoiled and store it as fat for the times when food is unavailable. So we have the tendency to try to do the same thing as money -- trying to store it as stuff instead of fat, I guess. This is also why dieting is so difficult, and the source of the must-finish-what's-on-my-plate syndrome.

damn genetics.

Also, just bought this huge book of 5,000 spells, so if the mojo doesn't work for you, let me know and we'll see what I find... there's a whole section on legal procedings.

Oh God, is it really sad that I HAVE a picture of me at a wedding with, yes...a hoop skirt over my head!!! LOLOLOL!
Gotta love it!

Well, it looks like you've bounced back with style. Good for you. Keep us posted on the business of becoming a rich artiste. All the same, are you sure you couldn't pimp out the cats? Maybe Sobakowa would take to boots and whip.

Gack. The whole thought of sitting down and making up a budget (and sticking to it) makes me nauseous. I have minor in economics (my dad is a CGA) and am working on a phd in a scientific field and CANNOT:
1. do my taxes(I only have, like, two blanks to fill out since I'm a grad student).
2. balance a whatchamacallit (balance sheet? financial statement? I did very poorly in accounting I & II)
3. keep track of my cheque book.

Pitiful. I also just ordered yarn (linen drape. you know I had no choice.) off ebay 5 min ago, I understand the urge to shop as a form of stress relief. This is after splitting a pitcher of beer at supper. And inhaling a plate of chicken wings. All I'm missing is a cigarette (a habit I barely managed to kick years ago, knock on wood).

Hey Laurie...I am also good with the numbers, the money and the spreadsheets...so just yell if I can help!

Congrats on the budget freedom! Well, at least you know how big your debt shackles are, right?

Since my husband and I have been married, we've paid off thousands in old student loans (and acquired a few more), personal loans, credit cards, etc. Even some debts we both had before we got married (including two that his ex-fiance racked up ... grr to her). It feels good each time you zero out another debt column. Right now we're saving toward a vacation this year and our older daughter's French class trip to Europe next summer, so funds are tight. I sympathize with the tension of money wrangling. I'm beginning to feel about the word "budget" like I do "diet."

(Is a diet a food budget? Is a budget a financial diet? Ewwwww!)

oh, my. i can so totally relate. i now find myself in a job where i am tracking over 7 million dollars a month in accounts payable and don't even balance my own checkbook! yikes.

I totally totally totally second Smart Women Finish Rich.
TOTALLY.
I'm rich now because of it. Really. Not millionaire rich, but rich enough. Get the book from the library. You will not regret it.

Also. Quicken. Really. Makes everything SO EASY.

I have SO done this before. Well, I probably didn't use the Excel spreadsheet thingy, computer moran and all, but I wrote it all out and figured things out. And the cool thing is, when a little extra money comes in (sometimes it does) you start to not even think about buying yarn or shoes, but how effing awesome it is going to feel when you pay off the Macy's card, or the phone bill, or the overdraft, or whatever you have lined up. You chink away at those bills and it feels AWESOME! Really. It does. I know you are skeptical, but trust me, really.

I know how you feel about shoes. There is something liberating about a new pair of shoes. like you i have no need for fancy party shoes just comfortable shoes. As for cats, I love them but my present cat, outside, is driving me nuts and now has 4 feral kittens I need to catch via a havahart trap I borrowed. Like you my budget is small and like to see the world on a baglady's salary before arthritis kicks in! Let's leave for the Day as that is all that is left us now! Knit, Knit, Knit as it is cheaper than a shrink!

I don't think I'm at the point where Excel will help me. I need a different sort of program, a super-hero magic program. Perhaps you and your banking friends know of some sort of program that will fix my problem: bills > income ???

Ohmigosh you are the very best ever - not only was I inspired to learn how to knit this weekend (yet another activity to shop for and spend money on) but I thought I'd check your blog today for kicks and downloaded the budget! I've been trying to get motivated forEVER to do one, and here it is! So, I saved it to my desktop, named it "BUDGET!! DO IT!!" and will totally actually fill it out...just as soon as I finish this row...

Oh, thanks so much for your Excel spreadsheet! I had been plugging away at the keeping track of expenses with a little notebook for awhile now, too messy. One tip: if you select the first column of months (Jul-05 in yours) and then go to Window--Freeze Panes, it'll set that as the point where the horizontal scrollbar starts. Basically, you can see the row labels for much later months.

OMG Target is soooo calling my name. I LOVE your Excel budget, I'm so going to use that. Good for you for having a plan :)

Amen to PLANS.
And you are NOT a dumbass... after all you made neato suggestions about lists to Ms. Sometimesatypical!!

yay for spreadsheets! the funny thing is that i work as an accountant and yet i can't seem to figure out my own budget. so, i think i will actually use your happy spreadsheet to start with since you've already figured out the formulas. yay! thanks! i used to use microsoft money, and although i do not have it on my computer now, i do highly suggest finding a copy because it is awesome! it separates everything for you, so whenever you spend money on anything, you can put it in there and it puts it in a category for you and... yeah, its great.

Back in a previous, single life, I had the same problem. Whenever I felt the most broke or depressed or lonely, I just HAD to go buy something. Yes, of course, it caught up to me. But, as Lauren said, "you CAN get out. I got out. It took FOREVER, and it was hard, but having a plan is the Key. It's probably the hardest part."

Recently I've been being very bad, not dealing with the issues I have with impulse buying, especially yarn. But your post has reminded me of that very scary OTHER LIFE, and I'm going to clean up my act.

About shoes, just remember Carrie's sitch on Sex and the City - she spent $Forty Thousand on shoes!! Do not do this in your real life!!

Quote: "Ya'll would never know I work at a bank, would you?"

you know the saying, "it's the shoemaker's children that go with no shoes" or it's the maid's house that's the messiest or the painter's house that looks like shit? you get the gist...

good luck with The Debt. don't lose focus!

Very cool about the spreadsheet. I'd never have had the patience, which is why I was happy you let us steal it.

And, I'm right there with you with the spend-thrift ways and the tightwad budget. I swear two kids is far worse than 4 cats. At least cats provide their own clothes! And, you never hear them begging for the latest thing they saw on a tv commercial.

I've recently gotten The Complete Tightwad Gazette, and I have to say it's addictive to find cheaper ways of doing things. You may want to check it out.

I love that you have a category in your Excel spreadsheet just for Yarn And Wine. That's my girl.

i shouldn't even leave a comment, you can't possibly have a chance to read all of em...anyway, look at how many people love you....even when you are super bummed out you are adorable and fun...that is pretty imperessive! anyway, i told you before that things will get really really good. better than they were with mr asshole, they will. i promise you. they will be so awesome that you won't believe that it bummed you out at all when he left...you wait and see...
smoochies,
natasha

Oh, darling, I feel your pain. I was never a big spender, but my crazy ex-husband was, well, crazy. As in bi-polar. Do you know what bipolars do when they swing into manic mode? They spend money. Oh, do they spend money. And of course he couldn't get a credit card because he had been caught off by all the credit card companies (back when they used to do that, instead of just asking you to sign up for more while taking away the possibility of bankruptcy). Anyway, I had $12,000 in debt, $0 in cash and was temping when we split up. It's been about six years, and now I have about that same amount in savings, plus a nice little IRA and a nice little TDA and some more bits and pieces tucked here and there. It's not a lot, but it's a start.

A few suggestions:

Read Your Money or Your Life. Do the thing where you write down everything you spend, every penny, the moment you spend it, then add up everything at the end of the month. You just stop spending as much, painlessly. It's not that you have to say, "I shouldn't buy that;" instead, you start to feel, "I don't want to waste my money on that."

Don't eat out. Learn to cook a few good things. Even bagged salad, yogurt and grilled chicken will be cheaper than a purchased meal, and almost no cooking involved. You'll eat better, too.

Pay yourself first. Put a little money into savings on a regular basis. The best way is to do it with an automatic transfer from your checking account. And that savings is not to be touched except in emergencies.

Good luck. Financial independence feels fantastic.

I agree with the "pay yourself first" thing--the great Overseer That Is B----- allows me to send money, AUTOMATICALLY, to four different accounts, so besides the 401(k), I have little savings accounts all over the place, entitled different things: Vacation, Debt to Parents, New Soft Top For Jeep, etc. (I know you feel me on the Jeep!) And your budget is amazing, and YOU are amazing! You're my hero!

Oh, and girls, what is all this about shoes? It's VICTORIA'S SECRET that gets me every time.

Money - oy!

I have fond memories of my mother (who worked in a bank) showing me not only how to balance a checkbook, but how to WRITE a check and how to DEPOSIT a check (betcha didn't know those little numbers on the check are supposed to go on the deposit slip, huh...?)

And the more painful memories of my dad losing his business and his health (and his sobriety) in the same year and my mother pulling us through with strength and two jobs.

So the most common comment my kids hear when we're shopping is, "You can live a rich and full life without {insert name of toy/comic book/treat}" - And we do.

And it's a lot more fun than feeling scared to look at the bank statement. You are on the road to financial independence, and it will make you so strong inside!

Sometimes it's scary how much of myself I see when I read your blog! Not too long ago I started a financial blog to write about my own battle for what I like to call financial sanity! Believe me, you are SO not alone! Good luck!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! We're in some kind of weird parallel budgeting existence. I actually just made up mine yesterday. If all goes as planned I’ll be completely out of debt in…2 years!! OMG I have to pay HOW much a month, maybe 3 then? But with your fabulous excel spreadsheet I’ll be able to track my progress better!! :) Wooo hoooo!! I love it!! Thank you!!!

Wow, thanks! That is just the sort of thing I need, that I've been thinking of putting together but am to lazy too. And it's purty! Crazy Aunt Purl, I hope you know you're going to help me get out of debt. Thank you, and Happy Wednesday!

Wow, thanks! That is just the sort of thing I need, that I've been thinking of putting together but am to lazy too. And it's purty! Crazy Aunt Purl, I hope you know you're going to help me get out of debt. Thank you, and Happy Wednesday!

Suze Orman is fabulous, but don't read things like the Tightwad Gazette when you are even a little bit depressed...(ask me how I know)....A friend gave me an earlier edition (maybe more recent ones are better) and all the tips, oy...the things like "Buy generic cornflakes in the 10 pound drums instead of the nice cute cereal that you used to eat. Nice cute cereal is for stupid rich people with more money than brains! And you can mix up powdered milk with tap water to eat on your 10 pound drum of cornflakes!"

I was torn between my own nutso innovations (Hey! I can use my torn pantyhose as a coffee filter!) and sticking my head in the oven. Except I had an electric oven at the time.

I do have a budget and try to stick to it, but there are also days that I say to myself "Life is short, I'm going to be dead for a long, long time, and how will it help me then if I forgo the nice bakery bread that's 50 cents more than the Trust-Us Generic-Brand Wheat-Based Foodstuff?" I mean, there's budgeting and there's madness.

Congratulations!!! Just dont become obsessed with checking your online checking account each day (and sometimes more than once...but I'm trying to cut back honest!).

I too have just done an "evaluation" of what I owe since my ex left me 2 weeks ago today (Yes I'm still in the counting phase)and now have to look at all the debt "we" acquired that "I" now get to pay off - I'm a lucky girl I tell ya!

Thanks for the Excel file! I'm the only one who does the budgeting at my place and we are both going to college!

Go, Laurie! Every time I come back to visit I come away inspired.
I second (third?) the recommendations for Your Money or Your Life. I am finding it *so* helpful and life-affirming.
(No, I don't have to eat government cheese or gallon drums of cornflakes to survive. No, my job is not who *I* am. Yes, I *can* take charge of my financial life and live my life on my own terms. Sweet!)

I thought of you at Target yesterday. My daughter bought shoes (so cute) and what did I buy?

30 lbs of cat litter.

*sigh*

I'm so the same way it's scary! I always tell myself no shopping then somehow I manage to say I'll just run to Target because I need toothpaste and there I am out $100.

LOVE YOU! thank you! i have been meaning to go make me an excel spreadsheet all week to track my spending, seeing as i came to the realization recently that the Awful Job that i'm in for the sole purpose of making The Money and paying off The Debt? NOT WORKING. still exactly the same amount of credit card debt as when i started 7 months ago. huh. i love you and your excel sheet. seriously. in a not-so-love-you-that-you-have-to-be-scared way. :-)

love your excel spreadsheet. i love excel. but then i'm a big dork.