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July 01, 2005
July 2005 Hor-O-Scopes
Note to all signs:
That stupendous planetary behemoth named Saturn is finally FINALLY moving out of Cancer on July 16. The big planets way out there in our solar system -- like Saturn and Jupiter and Neptune -- are the Large Marge elements of the zodiac. They come into your house, stay way too fucking long, eat you out of house and home and heart, and teach you all these life lessons you were sure you could live without thankyouverymuch. Even signs not directly in Saturn's path will feel the change at the end of the month. Except, uh, Leo? Hope you made up the guest room, because Saturn is moving into your house. So long and thanks for all the memories, Saturn! Enjoy Leo! See ya, wouldn't want to be ya!
- - - - - - - - - - - -
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
Saturn has ruled your 6th House for two years, sucking the fun out of your day-to-day. You've learned important lessons. For example, you now know that games are only fun when both players are equally interested. And there are some games that have no winners. Still don't see where this analogy is taking us in July? Spend this month consciously playing mental checkers: Move forward, never backwards, and don't be afraid to double your power. Jump over your obstacles rather than get trapped, and keep your eye on the other side of the playing field. Be flexible. Most importantly -- if it looks like a stalemate, don't play nasty just to win.
PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20)
Wax museums are clever places. For the price of an entrance fee you can see people posed in all sorts of dioramas, perfectly capturing a moment, forever frozen in time. If you were carved in wax, what scene from your daily life would be assembled around you? Would it be the image of you pouting because no one loves you enough? Or would it be the time you didn't speak up, or the time you didn't make a decision? Ah, Pisces. With Saturn leaving your 5th House (the 5th house rules love, fun and creativity -- which, by the way, Saturn totally sucked dry) on July 16, you're better-placed than ever to solidify a romantic or creative pose. Wax optional.
ARIES (March 21- April 19)
Lately I have been watching Spanish language TV, well... just the telenovelas. Spanish soap operas have a little something for everyone: tons of dramatic pauses, lost loves, plot twists, longing gazes, ominous music in the background, fantastic sets with great furniture. Imagine that your July is a steamy summer telenovela, set in a lovely villa on the beach. Plenty of bump and grind, rhythm and rhyme, with dialogue like "want, need, desire." Now you get to fill in the blanks ... what is it you want, need, desire, Aries? Before you can indulge in your happy ending, you have to sort out the twists and turns of the plot, made much easier by Saturn leaving your 4th House in mid-July. All the bad luck and high drama you've had with home-related matters will start to smooth out like a well-written season finale. Fantastico!
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Saturn is leaving some of us and encroaching upon others, like you darlin' Taurus. But it won't be the horror story I've had -- in fact, Saturn will move into your House of Home Stuff starting mid-July and all the turmoil you've been getting from your up-in-the-air living situation will calm down a little with the seriousness of Saturn. Now's a great time to make up a new superstition. For example, each time someone tries to make you feel unsettled, knock once on wood and then dump dog poop on their shoes. Your job this month is to conjure up your own little wives' tale. Pretend your wrist-watch is a powerful talisman. Each time you're up against another muckraker or manipulator, use your talisman instead of apologizing for things that aren't your problem. Don't worry, it can be something as simple as "Look at the time! Gotta go!" And Saturn will back you up, you lucky dog. Sans poop.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 21)
Summer is here. Take some time to inventory your SPF -- Sabotage Potential Factor. Who or what is currently dragging you down, keeping you burned, blistered and red in the face? Forget about the wave of bad financial karma incurred during Saturn's two-year stay. Saturn -- that pissant of planetary poverty -- is leaving your financial house on July 16 and money matters will begin to turn green and lush by month's end. Now is the time to be the big summertime blockbuster, the sizzling mid-season replacement for mediocrity. It's finally your turn to scrutinize who or what in your life is standing in as your personal Roger Ebert, holding the perpetual thumbs down. Purge! Cleanse! Vaccuum! Do whatever it takes to loosen up, enjoy summer, relax, socialize and be the star of your own summer movie.
* * * * *
CANCER (June 22 - July 22)
Bye Saturn! Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out of my 12th house of HELL! So long and thanks for NOTHING!
Cancerians get the longest Hor-O-Scope here, because I am a Cancer and because we've had to put up with more crap since early 2003 than any other sign, bar none. Saturn has put the screws to us, sitting right in Cancer since June of 2003 and ya'll, WE ARE TIRED. Even though we've lost some of our softness, lost some of our faith in the world, we're resilient little creatures and the stars say the months ahead will finally let us be happy again. (Of course, as a Cancer who has lost my faith in life, I almost don't believe it. But then again, I'm a Cancer. I NEED to believe it's going to get better. I need to have faith. Such a little contradiction, us crabs.)
So, Saturn is finally exiting on July 16 and GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE. Crabs born later in the sign (those mid-July babies) won't feel the relief as intensely at first, but it will come. Listen, it hasn't been easy for any of us since early 2003. And the full moon around the 21st will make you think Saturn is back to torment you, but after that you should be able to FINALLY finally, once again, breathe. We're tough little crustaceans of the zodiac, but we're too soft for this Saturn shit. I'm ready for it to be OVER. Aren't you?
* * * * *
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
I wish they had a Driver's Ed class for navigating your family. With Saturn moving into your sign and making family a central issue, even a little handbook would be helpful right about now. Suppose you could test drive your family and find out what their speed limits are and how safely they can parallel park before you burden them with too many expectations. You'd know the rules of all the interpersonal highways and byways, and you wouldn't be taken off guard by sirens or strange left turns. Well, while we're waiting for the Interpretive Guide To Driving Your Family Life, let's start by laying down our own ground rules. Respect the currently posted limits, watch for signals, negotiate curves with caution, and try to arrive on time. It's a good start to a two-year Saturnfest, Leo, when you'll be forced to have patience and put a cap on your road rage.
VIRGO (August 23 - Sept. 22)
Kin Hubbard once said that "the only way to entertain some people is to listen to them." I know it seems trifling and boring to listen the rest of us, day in and day out. We're not talking fast enough for you, or getting to the point as quickly as you'd like. Your first impulse is to turn a deaf ear to the incessant chattering. But beware -- you could miss out on some valuable eavesdropping. Your next move will be determined by something that will be said to you in conversation this month, let's hope you're listening and not just nodding while mentally planning your grocery list. Saturn's move out of your house of work and career will give you a much-needed break from professional strife... and the office gossip could be juicy, so listen up, Virgo. With both ears.
LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23)
You are in need of nourishment... not the meat-and-potatoes kind, but a real meal of critical success, a full buffet of acknowledgement and reward. Now is the perfect time to look at the menu and decide to eat all the good stuff life can cook up. There are more vital nutrients and vitamins coming your way now that Saturn is laying off your sign and easing up on the pressure both career-wise and personally. Don't forget to order up a healthy serving of heightened awareness, followed by a dessert of whipped emotions. Oh, and by the way... you can't get this meal home delivered, you have to go out to find it. Hint, hint.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21)
Um, hi. How you doing? Because, well. Saturn. And you. Going to get very close for the next two years as you have this big planet hanging out with you at work. Good news: Boy, will you get a lot accomplished! And people will love you! And you'll be a shining star! Bad news: Dude, a planet is riding shotgun with you to work every day. There's a fair amount of heaping praise coming your way on the career front -- and, because of Saturn, a fair amount of hard work as well. There's only one way to handle this: with a metaphor. Let's say your grandfather's beautiful pocketwatch stops ticking: immediately take it in to be fixed and polished, and always treasure its unique beauty. When you're late to work (again!) because your crappy, ugly, unreliable, piece of junk alarm clock died in the middle of the night, be glad to be free of it. Yes, this is a metaphor for something in your life that is broken and you have to decide whether or not it's worth fixing. And no, it's not an alarm clock.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
Some people look great in those loud Hawaiian shirts that have scenes featuring surfboards, coconut trees and pineapples. Other people wear those shirts and look like they had an accident in a bowl of fruit. That's because creative expression is uniquely personal, and when you try to meld into a style that isn't genuine ... well, you can end up looking like a casualty on the Fashion Freeway. Better to trust your instincts, especially in the coming weeks. An outside influence is going to make you believe you're the Hawaiian shirt-wearing kind, even if you're strictly a T-shirt girl at heart. Chin up! Saturn is exiting your money house and you will finally be able to afford to change your look as many times as you need before you get it just right.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
Next to Cancer, ya'll have had the worst time with that shitheel, Saturn. It's especially drained your emotional fuel tank these past few weeks. The cost for filling up your Cappy engine can be exorbitant -- gas prices notwithstanding. But finally, the time is right for you to drive the car of your own life. Take an alternate route this summer and you won't be disappointed. Capricorns will be able to see clearly, breathe deeply, enjoy the scenery and maybe even love a little. I can see a road ahead that is marked with gratifying pit stops and unlimited natural resources. There will be people along the way who may be asking for a free ride -- don't let that discourage you. No one can see more clearly into a person's itinerary than you, Capricorn. Trust your internal navigation system and you'll get unlimited miles per gallon.
Posted by laurie at July 1, 2005 11:15 AM
Comments
Sorry it didn't go so well. Take care of yourself. I think the important thing is that you are getting closer to getting the X out of your life permanently.
Hugs and a big bottle of Red and a bottle of White and something Blue (like maybe blueberry pie).
Posted by: Amanda at July 1, 2005 11:29 AM
Aww, I'm no good a checkers. In analogies or otherwise. Saturn in my 6th house? So that's who's been eating all the cheetos... See 'ya later alligator.
Sorry the law won this time, but keep up the good fight end enjoy the holiday weekend. Nothing makes me feel better more than low grade explosives.
Posted by: shananigans at July 1, 2005 11:41 AM
Oh Sweetie! We were all thinking about you last night at the WeHo SnB. Take the weekend off, don't think about legal garbage, just knit, go to the movies, maybe do some ghetto shopping and relax. It will all get better soon. Promise. From one Moonchild to another (I hate calling myself a Cancer...it's a disease): Moonchildren rule, you can't get a moon-burn and doing ANYTHING by the light of the moon rocks.
Hugs!
Posted by: L.A. Ell at July 1, 2005 11:43 AM
I am fully available to kick people in the shins for you. Or even higher. You just need to provide me with steel-toed pointy-toed shoes and way to LA.
Also, this Saturn thing moving into my house? Is it really going to kill me? Because yes, I'm a Leo, but I'm a bit cuspy, being Late July and all? So I roar quite loudly, but am very soft on the inside, like a Cancer... and you have me very very scared Aunt Purl.
That, AND I HAVE TO GO TO A FAMILY RENUNION NEXT WEEK and you give me a horror-scope about my family? Really?
I'm going to spend the next month under my bed.
OH WAIT, I'M MOVING. With Saturn. Yeesh.
Posted by: Jennie at July 1, 2005 11:50 AM
Thanks for the horror scope...
Sorry the court thing didn't go the way you had hoped...it sucks to be exact...
I hope you've got some friends to hang with...if not, you can email any one of us followers...we'll be happy to just listen.
((((Laurie))))
Posted by: Mary in Boston at July 1, 2005 11:53 AM
Divorce sucks. Lawyers suck. The judicial system sucks. Since California is a community property state, maybe you can convince the judge that, since Mr. X is going to have SO much creativity now that he's on his goatee-wearing own, that you are due 50% of his future fantabulous creative earnings. You should also get the left half of his goatee and his left nut.
Have a great weekend! Have a red wine, a white russian, and a blue Adios M*F* (http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink735.html) to celebrate your eventual freedom!
Posted by: Linda L. at July 1, 2005 12:13 PM
Oh God, I'm a Leo too...and having family issues with my Mother threatning to move here....Can I just hide, change my name and my birthday for two years? Blah!
I was thinking of you too yesterday, sending good ju ju and all. Glad to see you're still intact with that wicked sense of humor! Love ya Aunt Purl! Hang in there!
Posted by: Lesli at July 1, 2005 12:15 PM
Sorry it didn't go so well -please go celebrate that it's over!
Posted by: kathleen at July 1, 2005 12:37 PM
great. another leo here piping in to say wtf!? I just moved **closer** to my nutjob familyfest - not at all what I wanted to see for my horrorscope, not at all. I may have to start smoking again, and maybe drink a whole hell of a lot more while I"m at it. ugh
Posted by: gaile at July 1, 2005 12:48 PM
To chime in, I was thinking of you and sending good vibes, too. I guess I need to get my vibes fixed or something. Sorry it didn't go well. Remember what they say about losing the battle but winning the war.
Posted by: Lauren at July 1, 2005 12:50 PM
You've been watching me again, haven't you? As a Virgo with moon in Aries, and Sagittarius rising, I'm, shall we say, a tad impatient. And yes, I tend not to listen carefully because it takes everyone so long to get to the friggin' point!
*Conversely, I launch into talking, mid-thought, assuming everyone else has been keeping up with me. Then people stare at me like I'm from outer space. I'm used to it.*
So I will try to make an effort to rein in my impatience and pay attention. Thanks for the heads up, Aunt Purl.
Posted by: Geogrrl at July 1, 2005 12:50 PM
I'm a little puzzled. California is a community property state, but are you really making that much more than Mr. X? Is he really that useless?
Ah, well. This sucks, but remember that NOTHING lasts forever. Good times or bad. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
Posted by: Geogrrl at July 1, 2005 12:54 PM
In a weird way, maybe the judge is taking pity on Mr. X... like "Well, this sorry schmuck obviously won't be able to fend for himself--being so creative and all--and he definitely won't be able to do better than this, so have everything except the cats and the yarn!" Hang in there... and maybe play that corny but uplifting country song "Independence Day" (Martina McBride?) for yourself!!
Posted by: Erin at July 1, 2005 01:19 PM
Well, you know that in Texas (another community property state) the men get around that "financial" obligation by just quitting their jobs and being deadbeats. Seen it many times. So, maybe you could just quit your job and go on welfare.... or get into one of those careers that pay *cash* under the table.
Do NOT let him have custody of the fur kids. Tell him they *died* when they found out they might have to live with him!
I hope you have a smashed (whoops! I mean SMASHING) weekend, and see stars (whoops! I mean fireworks) and do not find yourself fallen on your needles. Girl, just let it go, because in the long run its just BS. (I don't mean Bra Straps) Just keep thinkin' 'bout how much it will be worth it in the end!!!
Hugs and love to you, sweetie! Don't let the bastards get you down!
Posted by: Jeri at July 1, 2005 01:22 PM
Hey Laurie- about your postscript- I'm sorry. Those fuckers. Motherfuckers, even. You, however, are the bomb, and this too shall pass, and I hope it is all over soon and you can be free.
Posted by: Mary-Heather at July 1, 2005 01:47 PM
auntie purl, don't let the bastards get you down! have a great weekend and maybe by tuesday you'll be able to laugh, just a little.
btw, your hor-o-scopes are the best ever. i mean it. tip jar, set up a pay pal tip jar. i'd be your first customer.
Posted by: ms c at July 1, 2005 02:11 PM
Dagnabit! Just when I thought the single life couldn't get any tougher ... NOW I have to worry about wanting to dress in loud Hawaiian shirts too!!! Why, oh why, Boyfriend Finder Goddess ... why must you hate me so much??!!!
p.s. Sorry about that Mr X thing. A curse to the judge!
Posted by: Kat at July 1, 2005 02:20 PM
Aw geez, I'm sorry things didn't go well for you yesterday. I agree with the poster who said quit your job.. that'll show the bastard!!! The good news is, a year from now you'll be able to look back at it all and just sigh and also, you have lots and lots of friends and people who care about you -- cyber friends included of course!!! The bad news is, for now it's hard. I hate injustice, I'm just furious. I'll come to L.A. and kick some ass for you too, and I'll supply my own pointy shoes and my own way there!! Sending prayers and good wishes from St. Louis.
Posted by: Heather at July 1, 2005 02:35 PM
*gulp*
don't worry raurie! i am finally posting a comment on the Internets to tell you that you are peachie and stuff. i want to buy fabric and yarn with you! i live in hollywood-- and after many months am finally posting because i am sick of you not being my friend. i have a dog ... (that's supposed to push you off the fence in my direction.)
Posted by: kendra at July 1, 2005 02:45 PM
Well, if that isn't just the end all. Darn Saturn. Darn judge.
I shake my fist at them both on your behalf.
I do hope you have a lovely weekend, regardless.
Posted by: Christina at July 1, 2005 02:50 PM
I'm a Cancer who drives a Saturn. Does that mean I should trade it in? Seriously.
Posted by: ~drew emborsky~ at July 1, 2005 02:59 PM
*comfort*
I think you need to get the right lawyer to pound his ass into the GROUND.
Posted by: Nancy at July 1, 2005 03:54 PM
I'm a Leo. This is the first time I've had the pleasure of reading your blog. Okay, HOW did you know I insanely agreed to a family visit this weekend, leaving the loverly cool weather of SF for near-100 degree heat? Not to mention all the family stuff?
You're scary.
signed,
your new fan
Posted by: terri at July 1, 2005 03:54 PM
OH, C.A.P., invisible internet friends can't offer much beyond an invisible internet hug for bad day you had yesterday. So, I'm sure it's not much consolation, but for what it's worth, here is one for you: *hug* Believe in the words of Howard Jones: "Things can only get better".
Posted by: Julie at July 1, 2005 03:57 PM
a pox on mr. x and his gaggle of lawyers!!!!
Posted by: Karyn at July 1, 2005 03:59 PM
Re postcript - like what is it with American law? He left you so it's a case of never give a sucker an even break? In Oz, it would be a case of 50:50 split, but he obviously doesn't want the cats. Come to lovely oz where we aren't so screwy. You'll need to book the cats into SIX MONTHS of quarantine though...
Re horrorscopes: hooray for Saturn leaving my ascendant and moon signs (pisces and cancer), boo hiss for Saturn landing in my WORK house (Scorpio) like how will I cope? Work is crappy enough as it is without me having to slave to show how much of a star I am!
Enjoy your little break...We love you Aunt Purl!
Posted by: lynne s of oz at July 1, 2005 03:59 PM
I just found you and yay for me! Your blog is fab.u.lous! Sorry to hear about your troubles, keep knitting and it'll all get better. In case you haven't already figured it out, yarn makes everything better. {{{hugs!}}}
Posted by: Linda (aka: lippysyd) at July 1, 2005 04:14 PM
He left you, so you have to pay him.
Wait.
HE LEFT YOU AND YOU HAVE TO PAY HIM???????????
Sorry about the shouting, but...
And, I mean, I know you're trying to get over this and not dwell on it, but...
Wow. I'm so sorry. I hope doing the horoscopes cheered you up a little. You have a real gift for writing them.
Posted by: Cordelia at July 1, 2005 04:47 PM
Cordelia said exactly what i was thinking. my heart goes out to you Laurie.... and i never ever ever want to get married.
Posted by: k. at July 1, 2005 05:21 PM
I'm with Cordelia on this...
You do have a lawyer, right? Is he sitting on his thumb?! WTF gives?
*hugs*
Posted by: Ashley at July 1, 2005 05:58 PM
You obviously didn't follow my prescribed recipe of nuts mixed with shoe leather, otherwise you'd be grinning from ear to ear (all be it behind bars). Have a great weekend, and this 4th drink to that brightly shining future you've got! (even if your vision is still to cloudy to see it yourself).
TN
P.S.
And may a full moon rise over Uranus...er...Saturn, or whatever.
Posted by: Tom at July 1, 2005 06:46 PM
Well being a Leo, I just wanna say thanks. As if I needed to know what was coming my way. You could have kept it a surprise a little while longer.
:)
Posted by: Micky at July 1, 2005 06:58 PM
I have been lurking on your blog for a few months and have never commented or felt the need to comment until today. I read your post-script and I felt so badly. I don't know you at all except for what you put out there on this blog, but I have to say that you seem like one of the sweetest, funniest people in the world. (And I don't mean to sound trite when I say that. I'm being genuine.) I wish there were more intelligent, funny, determined, people like you in this world. I am very sorry about what is happening with Mr. X. What a damned turd.
Aunt Purl, you are beautiful inside and out. Stay strong, knitting sister. Curl up with your pussycats and your knitting and gather up all your strength and determination to beat Mr. X and persevere. You have the support of MANY strong women/faithful blog readers behind you.
If it can mean anything from a total stranger, please know that I'm thinking about you all the way from Pennsylvania and I'm trying to send you all the strength and support I can towards southern California.
Peace
Posted by: Smokey at July 1, 2005 07:12 PM
Maybe it's time to channel some kickass Betsy Ross vibes and sew yourself a little voodoo doll.... Good lord that man sounds awful. Poor you.
And your Hor-O-scope was cracking up this Aries. Have a good weekend honey!
Posted by: Emily at July 1, 2005 07:49 PM
Shit, Laurie, I'm sorry to hear things are sucking ass. I really hope it gets better!! I'll be reading and thinking of you (not that that counts for a damn as far as solving your problems)... Your horoscopes are awesome, though. :)
Posted by: Mandy at July 1, 2005 07:56 PM
You amazing woman - that judge was just plain old mean and jealous. Whyn't you send his name on to Bill Frist?
Oh - and as I was reading your blog my son wandered in the room and was absolutely transfixed by the photos of you. He thinks you're very beautiful.
(He's very happy that I just added that. Perhaps you'd like to wait 13 years until he's legal in all states?)
Posted by: Annie at July 1, 2005 08:56 PM
Thanks for the Cancer hor-o-scope! I'll drink to that tomorrow night :)
Sorry about the royal suckage of that judge, but at least you've got your shoes!
Also, Betsy Ross kicks ass.
Posted by: Jen at July 1, 2005 09:17 PM
WTF? California is a community property state, with alimony typically only for a limited period of time and mostly when the recipient is totally helpless. Well, having grown up in a whole development full of abandoned women and children, I know that support payments can be varied when either person's circumstances change. Lots of men varied their way out of paying. If there's no appealing this decision, vary that bastard's ass at the first opportunity. (Like when you take a lower-paying job that doesn't stifle your creativity.)
Posted by: Marie at July 1, 2005 11:02 PM
I think it is time for everyone to go buy some sort of vodoo candle, light it and cast some nasty mojo mr x's way. I'm still in the "I hate men" stage right now. hehehe
As far as the horoscope goes, you are so dang right. My folks will be starting to pack up everything towards the end of the month. They take possession of their new house on August 1. I'll be spending lots of time helping my mom with that. Ain't no way I'm moving. They will have to pry me out of this apartment unless someone buys me a nice big ole house. roflmao
Posted by: Becky at July 1, 2005 11:29 PM
FYI...from my training-blog.
Maybe few if any who dig my so-sometimes-called-blog will dig this site. Myself, Y'ALL, I can't not read it! Because of course "Nothing is sexier than a divorced woman with four cats" and a penchant for knitting, and because she has Voice, and because she is telling a story. There are several blogs I make a habit of; this is the one I'm addicted to, and the only "personal" blog I don't sort of hate.
From the page: "Enjoy our nation's birthday and remember: all those little American flags? They sprung fully formed from the brain of A WOMAN. I love you, Betsy Ross. Sure, historians have tried to strip us of the Betsy Ross story for years, g-ddamn woman haters, but I BELIEVE. She had a needle and thread and a great idea and she sewed it right up between her knitting projects and doing the laundry, and ya'll know the only reason she didn't knit up a flag was because they didn't have good acrylic blends back then.
I named my first kitten Betsy Ross when I was six years old. Talk about foreshadowing."
...and Crazy Aunt Purl's Hor-O-Scopes are second only to Real Astrology, and all the rest of astrology is nonsense! Click the link, already--it's a good read.
Posted by: dan at July 2, 2005 02:15 AM
Oh Dear Aunt Purl! WTF is your jacka@@ of a lawyer doing? Have you paid his/her whole fee up front? If not, get a different one! Talk to the ladies in the family court clerk's office - you'll find one or two who'll give you the name of a good attorney - one who won't let the jerkoff who LEFT you get everything. And YES - take a different job if you possibly can afford to live a little more cheaply for the next year. And YES, go to the drink site that Mary from Boston recommends - it's fantabulous!!! Lots of good ideas.
Seriously, I love your blog and your sense of humor and outrage; love of animals and yarn; loyalty to your friends and "wanderings through the wilderness". You're a woman, therefore strong, and will prevail.
Sending hugs, choco chip cookies and amaretto. Sorry, but the Nori is mine! :)
Posted by: Leslie at July 2, 2005 06:11 AM
send mr x HIS half of the furbabies: the poop.
label it: "YOUR CREATIVITY FOUND"
Posted by: Nancy France at July 2, 2005 07:51 AM
Yeah, I'm with Cordelia who said "He left you and you have to pay?" I'm not getting this at all! What's he doing? Mooching off his new, totally uncreative girlfriend? Can I please come back to my homeland and creatively kick his mutha' fuckin' ass? (For the record...I could take him, EASILY!) Find out exactly what the hell you are paying your lawyer for. Damn, this all pisses me off!
We are all behind you, CAP, and no matter what happens, women are strong creatures and always prevail. You will too. You are full of spirit and don't you doubt that for a minute.
Posted by: Kim at July 2, 2005 08:02 AM
I'm a Leo... and I'm scared. I didn't know that Saturn was so evil...
Posted by: Laina at July 2, 2005 08:37 AM
Winston Churchill said, "If you're going through hell - keep going."
Saturn and/or despicable judges aside - Celebrate your OWN independence this weekend, Purl. You go live yourself way out loud.
Posted by: Kathy at July 2, 2005 08:45 AM
Good thoughts and good vibes headed your way from me and the two kitties.
Posted by: cant_talk_knitting at July 2, 2005 09:56 AM
And to think, I'm supposed to still like you after you send Saturn my way for the next two years! Fortunately, you have many other things in your favor to cancel out this terrible wrong. Have a great weekend!
Posted by: NolaPete at July 2, 2005 11:42 AM
EFF! (that was a Mr. X related-EFF!)
Listen, me and my friends are available. If you know what I mean.
Posted by: San Francisco Knitter at July 2, 2005 11:59 AM
oh and THANK YOU now I know why my creativity has been shit lately. It improves now, right?
ALSO dear Crazy Lady, please email me with your address, or a post office box somewhere if you are afraid of stalkers, so that I can send something I have for you. It's a GOOD something. I promise.
Posted by: San Francisco Knitter at July 2, 2005 12:01 PM
I'm for sending Mr. X the cat poop! Sorry that community-property laws are biting you in the butt. Too bad you aren't getting unhitched in a dower-property state like Arkansas; then everything would be yours. Except the goatee, of course. ;)
Lighting a candle for you and wishing you a good holiday!
Posted by: Kara at July 2, 2005 12:44 PM
Divorce is total Bitch! I have had one. But my husband of 18 years this July 4 makes that only a tiny memory. There will be lots smiles in your future. Hang in there!!
Posted by: teresa at July 2, 2005 03:48 PM
Two years!?! This Leo is crying WAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I was happily hoping all my family hoopla was going to calm down pretty soon. I'll just be over there knitting in the corner with tape over my mouth.
Posted by: Deb at July 2, 2005 08:30 PM
I'm sorry did you say two years? Oh, life upheaval here we come. And how did you know I have a family reunion? Great family fun times ahead.
Posted by: Christie at July 2, 2005 09:49 PM
Mr. X needs to get his sorry a** a job.
Having gotten that off my chest, I hope things work out for you....
Andree
Posted by: Andree at July 2, 2005 09:55 PM
Laurie,
I can only add my good wishes and sympathy to what your other readers have posted. I've been divorced twice myself (although now happily married for nearly 11 years). I can't imagine how much it compounds the sense of outrage and abandonment to get screwed by the courts AND your ex! It is very, very hard to continue acting decently when the ex and the legal system have not. But if anyone can handle it, you can.
Don't let this corrode your spirit with bitterness, please. Let the pain wash on over you and right out of your system. Just keep letting go of it (and you'll have to "let go" of this one many times if you feel as I did, trust me). Time heals all wounds ... and wounds all heels. Your humor and your affectionate throng of friends will see you through, and we don't tire of listening.
Meanwhile, on your behalf, since I'm not burdened with any sappy advice like mine about letting go, I'm looking for a Mr. X voodoo candle right now. ;o)
Best - Carolyn B.
Posted by: Carolyn B. at July 3, 2005 03:39 AM
If you'd like, I can send Mr X *my* cats' poop too. With three of them there's a lot, but the cost of shipping it would be totally worth it.
Seriously girl, talk about getting the fuzzy end of the popsicle.
Posted by: kelly at July 3, 2005 09:21 AM
Waaaaaaaait a frickin second. Yeah, we're a community property state, but exactly what the hell else is the the judge and the goatee'd dickwad trying to get out of you, exactly? Spousal support? I did read the comment above where that's rare and for a limited time only. Are they trying to get more?
Maybe you need a real shark of a lawyer. Wish I was one.
However, I'm happy to send Simone and Boo's litterbox contributions to Mr. Ex in the interim.
Posted by: Janet at July 3, 2005 09:39 AM
My home upheaval is coming to an end??? (I'm a Taurus.) You MUST be good at this. Seriously. Freakily prescient (fingers crossed...).
So many wise people have offered their savvy advice already. I have no legal experience, but what I've learned from financial companies and insurance companies and the like is this: Sometimes you have to fight and fight until you're exhausted and then fight some more to get what you need & deserve, because the world is set up to convince you that you have to take what they're trying to give you. Well, you don't. The world is built for the Red Queen -- you have to run very fast indeed to get somewhere.
This sounds depressing, but it's not -- because you are strong and armed with a sense of humor and a support system and some very pointy sticks. You shall prevail -- in one way or another.
In CA do they have pet-support payments?? They SHOULD.
Posted by: Anne at July 3, 2005 01:31 PM
I'm sorry things seem to be going from bad to worse, but you really are going to be better off without this sorry excuse for a man. I am livid that you might have to pay him - it should be the other way around, if anything. Hang tough, girl.
Posted by: Natasha at July 3, 2005 02:17 PM
I'm sorry about your divorce woes. I wish I knew something to say but I don't.
I think you're great!
Posted by: Ingridh at July 3, 2005 07:22 PM
I hope you are spending this weekend opening some of the packages that have been sent to you...it will show you how much people out here care about you....yes YOU!!! Cheryl
Posted by: Cheryl at July 4, 2005 06:39 AM
Awwww, I'm so sorry you feel bad.... I was so glad to be rid of the ex, nothing else mattered.... (but I didn't have any THING worth fighting over, and we'd already agreed to co-parent the children.) If you're up to it,please explain to us how the law worked (maybe some of us can avoid your fate) and what you're doing so you can get revenge by living FABULOUSLY. (How many skeins of Noro would it take?)
Posted by: Dana at July 4, 2005 04:45 PM
Thanks, ya'll, all so nice! Sorry about the Leo thing, LOL.
Ok. Clarification:
The judge basically dissolved the financial agreement that my husband and I had already settled upon (outside court). But he and I are working something out. It'll be ok. It always is in the end, right? See how a long weekend and some distance can make you feel better. And also a lot of drankin' and carrying on. It will be fine. I think. One day?
Posted by: laurie at July 5, 2005 12:12 PM
I'm just returning from my Birthday Dinner... Lo' and behold they were offering up $1.00 Bellini's. All night. During the dinner. I ordered 2 for me and 2 for you. Yum...
Thank you for all of your wisdom, humor and Cancer'ness. I heart you. And that is not the Bellini talking either. Cheers to us Cancers!
Posted by: jill at July 5, 2005 08:25 PM
