I totally must go to Target today. I had no idea I needed tampons with sassy messages until I found out they exist. ;)

And today I'll also be using my handy CAP budget worksheet - you're a gem for sharing that tool with us!

I am so totally with you on the estate sale...no need to apologize for thinking those thoughts...I would have done the same thing.

But how lucky are you to have met a friend like Ellen? She is way cool! And middle eastern food is AMAZING...so good!

I want a necklace like that...LOL...but my kids would probably not appreciate it.

Have a great Sunday...

You are just about the only person who could walk into a Target and FIND TAMPONS WITH SASSY MESSAGES!!

What is this world coming to??

Hi Laurie! I came across this pattern this morning during my own little overnight bout with insomnia. When I saw this, I thought of you. Have an excellent Sunday!!!

http://www.lionbrand.com/patterns/khs-petAfghan.html

Sassy messages. My God. Whoever thought up that marketing schpiel needs to be drug out in the street and shot. Or just drug. Bleeccchhh. Can you imagine, that's your job? "What do you do for a living?" "Um, I'm a copywriter..." "Oh really, where? Have I read any of your stuff?" "Um, I write sassy messages on tampons. Do you read your tampons?"

HAVE YOU READ YOUR TAMPON TODAY!? Confucious say, yuck.

PS - took up knitting last weekend, started a blog, and bless my heart, just haven't had the chance to do my budget...must knit crazy hats, scarves, and potholders for friends who had no idea they needed that kind of stuff!! No time for budgets!

First off, Happy belated birthday Drew! I was without power and missed it.

L - have the cats destroyed the bag yet? I'm sure KittyOnCrack aka Beignet and Kickstand aka Coffee would have destroyed it within an hour. That's what they do...Destroy destroy destroy!

There's no stopping Kickstand with her hot pink splint/bandage thingee. One would think nothing happened to her the way she gets around with it. The silly thing runs up and down the stairs with it never hitting anything once.

Glad to see that you are getting out of the house.

Luv ya,
Pete(r)

Just what ARE these sassy messages? What could they possibly have to say??

I think snarky messages would be more appreciated by me at that time of the month. For example:

"Hey, at least you're not pregnant."
"You deserve some chocolate, and everyone else deserves an ass whuppin."

I'm just sayin.

damn, would totally LOVE the sassy tampons, if I EVER had my period. I naturally don't have many periods. Yay for me.

CAP, you are blessed to have so many nice, great friends/IIF's.

Ellen is so purdy. As well as yourself.

Good day!

I just found your blog via a link on another via a link from another blog and so on.

I'm another crazy cat lady and I work hard at it. I can really picture myself doing the same thing at an estate sale. Then I would picture years from now, my kids having a big sale of all my possessions that was after they ripped through in search of anything valuable. My whole life laid out in a big garage sale for strangers to sort through and barter down prices. I better stop, I'm feeling a tad depressed now.

Anyway, I added you to my favorites list.

I want tampons with snarky comments by Andrea! Those are way better than any sassy tampons.

I'm with ya on the cryin'. Just yesterday I got all teary-eyed at a memorial I walked by to someones beloved dog. I couldn't even talk. My husband just put his arm around me. Not even questioning the cryin'.

Glad you had a good time with Ellen despite the cryin'. Hope you get some sleep soon!

as i was reading, i had something to say to you about the estate sale and then.... sassy messages. it zapped everything else away-
"at least you're not pregnant" - oh man, i almost dropped my coffee!! do they come in bulk? i'm slightly obsessed about running out of those type necessities... i literally keep one of those plastic rubbermaid shoeboxes under my sink! thank God for sam's!

I don't even want to imagine someone going through my stuff when I kick the bucket. It is making me paranoid. I need to go through all my hiding places and get rid of the various pictures of various exs and toss em. hehehehe

I wish I got the type of mail you got. Mine is mostly bills and for some reason diaper coupons. hehe The kid is 6yrs old.

Oh and they can keep those lil ditties. I can't even imagine using a tampon with sayings on it. Who is going to be reading them? *shivers*

Ah, Sweetie Pie... I am so glad to read your happy attitude rather than the victimized bitterness of last week. Bravo to Ellen for making the spur-of-the-moment inviation and to you for accepting it!
When I go to estate sales, I just mutter..."I better clean up my @#$%^ing mess because I'd hate for people to see it even if I was dead. You must have a clean place AND clean conscience if you can empathize with the "wonderful interesting woman" with books, photos (and apparently TONS of clothes) and sno-globes.

Ok... and thanks for the info on Ditties... first time I've missed "George" since my hysterectomy. My hoo had does NOT need written messages. Just so you know.

Well, as for the estate sale, if so much of the stuff was dust-covered, it makes me think the previous owner hadn't bothered with it for a while. So perhaps you shouldn't feel too bad about what's being sold off.

I went to Dittie's website out of curiosity.

http://www.dittie.com/index.php

The thing that got me was the top right corner:

The Monthly Cycle
Sign up to make your period more fun!

Before my hysterectomy, my periods were a lot of things but they definitely weren't fun. And no amount of relentlessly chirpy advertising would have made me think differently.

Forget printing out transfers - take the image to your local K*nkos or other print shop and have them do it for you. You may want to make sure that you've reversed the image before printing it out; the clerks are supposed to check for that, but you know. The quality is much better, you don't find yourself with a half-printed out transfer sheet and a printer that is gasping for ink but no color inkjet cartridge in the house and the transfer is looking all streaky but you don't want to throw it out because those sheets cost money but you can't use it 'cause it looks like crap so 50 years from now someone will find it at an estate sale - and what with the price of color inkjet cartridges these days, it's cheaper.

If you're still set on the T-shirt idea, you can get the transfers printed at a copy place. (Maybe you can slip it in with work related copying and sneak out during the day so as not to use up free time) I think I'll have to get a box of "sassy" tampons and leave them in my daughters' bathroom (ages 13,20, and 21) just for the reaction. The older two about peed their pants when I left a box of thong panty liners in there (which my then 2 1/2 yo daughter found and proceeded to and stick them to the wall as a neo-feminist collage-y thing. That's "art" right? We should encourage art, right?). Oh, and the hat book is great. I love "bunnies and carrots" and plan to make some "color me bright" hats if the little Kool-aid dying experiment doesn't go horribly awry. If you want to branch out, the scarf and mittens books in the same series are also good. I have to go call my dad now. He lives in Pensacola.

Wow, look at all the cool stuff you got! Yeah, you might be a little crazy for crying at the sale, but it's sweet at the same time :)

I too had to find the website... I personally enjoyed the Tampon Bowling link. I just finished playing for the last 30 minutes. My high score; 257.

Ok, so, I got no life. Sue me.

http://visitor.constantcontact.com/optin_eval.jsp

Do the Dittie tampons also come with built-in vibrators??? That would make your period more fun!

Thank you for remembering the woman who passed away at the estate sale. I had a terrible experience with one of these sales. After my grandmother died my grandfather decided to cash in and sell the house they lived in for 40 years,even though my grandmother had wanted to keep the house in the family. The house was built during the 1930s in Michigan for a member of Henry Ford's inner circle. It is a one-of-a-kind house the entire family cherished. My grandfather then decided to have an estate sale of the household items and told the relatives we would have to buy any momentos we wanted from the estate sale just like anyone else. Some stranger purchased my Gunne Sax Prom dress from 1986 that I had forgotten was stored in my grandparent's attic. I came to find out that people collect this vintage brand (there's no denying your getting up in years when your prom dress is considered vintage). Any way, I hope the people who purchased my grandmother's stuff at the sale thought she was a cool lady. I sure do. Thanks for being such a caring person.

I've done that at an estate sale, too. I just finally had to leave, it was so sad. I'd gone because they advertised yarn, and seeing people paw through her stash, making comments about how it was all acrylic and all, just really got to me. A family friend was overseeing the whole thing, and I found out from her that the woman had been put in a nursing home and couldn't crochet anymore except for dishcloths. I gave her my card with guild info on it, and told her to call me if she ended up needing yarn to keep her going. She died not long after that.

I can't go to those things.

wear the necklace/bracelet however you like!

The tampons? I saw those. The only other time I've ever laughed at tampons was when I was about 16 years old and my baby brother was 4 (I know, HUGE age difference). Anyways, I was walking down the hallway to my bedroom going past the bathroom and I'm hearing all kinds of splashing and sound effects going on, peek my head in and my brother has found my box of tampons and is in the bathtub launching them like theyre missles or something. There were tampoons & the pretty pink plastic applicators floating around all over the place. I just told my mom "Do something about Ryan. He's not right."

Your spelling looks pretty darned okay to me.

Glad you liked the kitty statue. I cracked up at the cats beating on it... LOL!!

Consider yourself adopted!

As for the tampons:

OMG!! Like they aren't bad enough...do you get the message when they open up, when you pull the string or what!!???? Puh-leez! Like the popsicles where after you eat the treat there is a joke on the stick!!

Cheryl

Dammit, Laurie! Every time I read one of your entries I WANT something! Today it's middle eastern food and tampons with sassy messages.

I want talking tampons, though, to warn the world that I HAVE MY PERIOD AND BACK THE FUCK OFF, ASSHOLE!

xo!

i so do not need my hoo-hah reading any sassy messages!! but thanks for the laugh and especially for the kind words regarding the earrings. I hope you like them and enjoy wearing them on future hot dates.(and i hope your ears are pierced LOL). Take a nice spa night to yourself and don't forget the wine. We love ya purlie girlie!!

Inky (and Mr. Inky)

Opps, I left the wrong link for the Tampon Bowling... bad blogger I am! I am so going to CVS tomorrow to hunt these down. Thanks for telling me about them.

http://www.dittie.com/bowling/

"Sassy messages"????? Holy crap, I'm sheltered. What are the messages? Is there a chance in hell that they'll be as good as Andrea's?

I used to have a ferret that loved to steal tampons. She would get them out of the bathroom cabinet and would prance down the hallway with her "treasure". WHen we moved, we found DOZENS of tampons that she'd stashed under the bed. I always wondered how I would run out of them so fast.

Dang it ... now I'm all concerned about dying and strangers pawing through my stuff. What will they think when all they find is tons of yarn, WAY too many knitted scarves, a plethora of cat toys (err, and maybe a few other kinda toys (shhh! ;))) and cat hair coated furniture!?! Oh, and lots and lots of shoes!!! I mean, hell ... maybe I should pick up some of the message tampons to add to the mix!! Cuz it can't get any worse!!!

[Note to self: don't die before I spring clean]

Happy Birthday. I think you need to change your birthday to today and consider it well and wonderfully celebrated!

I don't cry at estate sales, but I do go to them with what I hope is a respectful attitude. Think of your tears as a nice memorial for the person who had left, and give yourself a hug, or hug Bob for being such a sweet person.

I'm just imagining putting the Sassy Message Tampons in an Estate Sale. Bad enough at Target. But imagine stumbling on a box of those when they are funky vintage collectibles in 25 years.

A tip that may help get your t-shirt-making dreams off the ground: you can often get printer drivers off the net (usually from the manufacturer's page). Just do a search with the words "printer driver" and the brand and model of your printer to see what you can come up with.

And, the Ditties are hilarious. I'm thinking maybe some advertisers/marketers were smoking a little something when they came up with that stunt. So, what kinds of sassy messages did you get? Are they vagina-related? Because that would be pretty funny.

Aunt Purl, I really enjoy reading your blog. I feel that you are a very strong person who has worked very hard to get to where you are right now....
I always look forward to reading up on your stitch'n'bitch, and am setting up some knitting lessons with my grandma thanks to you!!!!
p.s. your cats are sooo cute!!!!!

I hardly know where to begin, from the sassy tampons (hysterical) to the sad estate sale. I always click on your blog first when it's lit up on my Bloglines subscriptions. ;o)

I had a similar experience with estate sales, with an extra helping of eeriness. My husband and I toured one nice gray house with white trim on a quiet cove when we were house hunting two years ago, and we met the older couple who owned it. They weren't like most owners, who twitted along anxiously at your heels when you looked at the house; they stayed put on lawn chairs in the back yard after greeting us at the door. Both the house and the people were nice, although we later picked a different home to buy. Then, about six months into our home ownership when we realized, "Hey, we'd better get some more stuff to put in our new house," we decided one weekend to hit the estate sales. One of them was at ... you guessed it ... the little gray house. It didn't dawn on me at first, but as I prowled through the house with the other bargain hunters, I realized they both must have died. It was like they just left the house one day and never came back. Toothbrushes still in a holder on the bathroom counter. Covers thrown back on the bed. Clothes and shoes and purses and belts -- even the raggedy stuff that normally would go to Goodwill and the fine stuff that normally would go to a relative -- still there. Jewelry box still overflowing with good and junk pieces. Tool shed still packed with woodworking and yard tools. The estate sale even had half-used bottles of liquor and pantry items tagged for sale. I mean ... CREEPY. And very, very sad. I felt like such an interloper and kept looking at the other shoppers, thinking, "Well, they never even met those folks." (As if I had a relationship with them. But you know.)

I spent the rest of the afternoon in a blue funk, driving my husband mad with cheerful things like, "Maybe it was a big car wreck, and neither of them had any relatives who knew them well enough to want any of their things. Isn't that SAD?" Or "Ohmigod, that's why they were selling the house. They KNEW they were going to die! Must have been cancer for both of them -- how sad!" And of course, "Honey, don't you think she had diabetes? She was older and she was a big woman and she never got out of her chair, don't you remember? And her skin had that funny color it gets when someone's just all-over not well. I just think it was diabetes. Didn't you notice how puffy her feet looked? Do you think he died of grief, or maybe a heart attack when he found her dead?"

I'm sure my husband's thought bubble was, "No, his wife probably talked him to death and he went on gratefully to his good reward."

So I had to smile at the image of you tearing up over strangers' estate sales; I sympathized so much.

I'll sign this comment to you as, "Just another Internet stranger/faithful reader who things we're definitely soul sisters"! -- Carolyn B.

Every once in a while, some marketing genius comes up with something so remarkably stupid that it defies comment--Ditties is one of those moments. Probably many, many people at the company who makes these things were just too polite (or scared) to tell the guy that this was stupid. Geogrrl, you and me both!

Estate sale--my mom comments about this all the time--about how my sister and I are going to have a hard time cleaning out her fabric room (she is a quilter, so it is her stash) which used to be our bedroom. Nobody wants to hear this, of course. You are right to have cried--summing up your whole life based entirely on the material goods that you owned at the time of your death is the saddest thing that I can imagine.

OMG! I MUST HAVE THOSE TAMPONS! My poor hoo-ha gets so lonely during that time of the month, those "Sassy Messages" might provide some company or at least some reading material. Must add them to my shopping list.
We don't have many good estate sales here in MN - so I'm beyond green with envy because I totally would've bawled like a big 'ole baby in the book room too, and then I would've bought as much stuff as I could afford to because someone should rescue the woman's stuff.

I bought both pink and green boxes of those thangs...they just need to put more realistic sassy sayings on the wrapper like "He's a dick"

I'm glad you like the tapestry. I can't wait to see it hung on the wall! I'm very glad that it received kitty approval. Chandler & Cleo were laying all over thing while it was being assembled which was their contribution to the gift for their Valley cousins! ;)

"fortune cookies for our nether regions"

ROFLMAO omg *wipes tears from eyes* that's just too damn funny.

Um, my hoo-hah is illiterate.

LOL! I have to get some of those tampons!

I can see it now... Someone asks "how are you feeling today?"

My reply... "Dunno, lemmie check." *drops pants and pulls on string*

*insert devilish wink here!*

Aunt Purl - you are fabulous!

I love Estate sales - it's the best place to get vintage purses. Yes my love for purses has now carried over into buying them from the family members of recently departed folks....so..ya know!

and of course I must go to Target so I can have some sassy tampons too!

um I need that necklace NEED IT..........where can I get one?

"It's so sad! She was probably a cool lady! And she's gone and strangers are taking her things!"

"She probably loved this! I should take it home and love it, too!"

"Ya'll. I am not right."

You are obviously an incredibly sweet person. That kind of compassion and debth of insight is a rare thing, especially in this city. You actually are 'right', more 'right' than most. Don't ever change that, its just one of the many things that makes you a beautiful person.

Oh, and umm...not to be a wise-ass again but:

http://www.papilio.com/laser%20duracotton%20duratrans%20transfer%20paper.html

They do make laser printer tshirt transfer paper. Its kinda 'spensive and in my hands manages to melt every now and then, but it's out there.

TN

P.S. You should have gotten the snow globe. Mrs. Estate Sale would have wanted someone like you to have it, I'm sure of it!

I must not be quite right, either.

I'm the person who goes to antique shops and buys up the hand-embroidered dresser scarves (even though every flat surface in my house is already stacked with books) because it breaks my heart to think of some person making it, spending her (or his, I suppose) leisure time stitching it, and then their kids or grandkids or friends or whomever looking at it after they're gone and going, "yeah...I can maybe get 50 cents for this crap at the antique mall, beats throwing it out."

I think if I have the chance to do it before I die (...if I don't get hit by a truck on the way to the grocery or something and actually live to an Old Age where it becomes reasonable to divest myself), I'm going to try really hard to find people I care about that care about the stuff I've made/accumulated. I'd much rather see it walk out the door in the hands of friends, or friends' children, or former students, or whatever, than think of strangers picking over it after I'm gone.

that said, I'd be touched if someone came to my estate sale (...provided I was somewhere and still posessed emotions and a consciousness) and got all teary over my books or my embroidered pillowcases or my little dragon sculptures. Much better that someone looking at it and rolling their eyes and going "damn...what a packrat."

I must have something else on my mind because I read that as "with sassy mAssages" and I started wondering if Target is really someplace you would feel comfortable taking children or your grandma.

And as far as I'm concerned the only thing a tampon should say is "Open this end / Ouvrir de ce cote / Abra este extremo".

I own the aforementioned sassy-saying tampons. It was an impulse buy. Some are kind of funny but others are like very wierd Chinese fortunes, like "The best is yet to come" Who wants to read that on a fortune cookie, much less your tampon?

Laurie, love ya! I love your blog. You make me laugh and/or cry every time I read a new installment. If you're ever in the Yosemite area, give me a ring! :)

So, I have to say... you all have some very interesting takes on the Dittie thing. I came across this site inadvertantly while looking for knitting clubs for my daughter...who,when I mentioned the site to her - came running out of her room after checking this blog to show me her box of Ditties... Quite frankly, the idea is interesting to me, and I think quite compelling.

To give you a male perspective, I have lived with the highs and lows of "George" my whole life. And, some of the comments here are right - who'd think that a marketing twist would have a positive impact on the swing we ALL experience because of The Blessing... But, I have to say, it has made my day... the sayings are really quite entertaining, and empowering if you ask me. Dittie has become a household buzz and we all get a good chuckle out of the messages. There are some great quotes in this string that would be really funny to include on the packaging. BTW - the messages are on the wrapper, not the tampon

Dittie had made a difference in my life -

Ok, the Ditties had me almost rolling on the floor...especially the comments. Andrea, be sure to contact their marketing department - you've got the best sayings!

So I've gone over to the site to check into this a little more. And got quite a few more laughs over their choice of words for some of their products. Such as thong liners, in the paragraph about them the last statement says "Divide and conquer with style!" "DIVIDE"??? And speaking of thong liners....is it just me or does the vision of a thong liner just not make sense? If you're still on your cycle to need a liner, WHY WOULD YOU BE WEARING A THONG? I don't know, I'm sure it's just me. I never did find a PICTURE of a thong liner but the whole concept just made me chuckle.

What a great laugh you've given me!

Thank you for the sassy messages....Andrea, I need you!

Hey Purl,
I've been reading your blog for ages but could never think of anything to contribute... till now. Did you know that on this website you can upload a graphic file that you made and then order it to be printed on t-shirts, mugs, aprons, and all kinds of other items? The prices are really reasonable, about the same as buying the item without having aything printed on it. And they have cute girl-cut shirts too. Anyway, if you design a t-shirt I will definitely buy one. http://www.cafepress.com/cp/customize/