Woohoo - FIRST! For the first time ever!

Now I can actually go and read the entry, LOL.

Och, don't let a wee blub ruin the memory of a perfectly scrumptious weekend! I never do, LOL!

I highly doubt that anyone at that party thinks you are crazy...you are going through a tough thing, and friends understand that...

I happened to watch "Dinner with Friends" the other weekend and kept crying all the way through...dammit.
Oh, and also? Hallmark commercials slay me everytime. So I can't lie and tell you that it stops anytime soon, but it does slow down a bit.

Glad you had a great Saturday...those girls look like fun and mmmMMMmmmmMmmm breakfast out! Love it.

I highly doubt that anyone at that party thinks you are crazy...you are going through a tough thing, and friends understand that...

I happened to watch "Dinner with Friends" the other weekend and kept crying all the way through...dammit.
Oh, and also? Hallmark commercials slay me everytime. So I can't lie and tell you that it stops anytime soon, but it does slow down a bit.

Glad you had a great Saturday...those girls look like fun and mmmMMMmmmmMmmm breakfast out! Love it.

I agree with Eileen -- get some waterproof mascara & know that one cry does not make a complete regression where you were at the beginning of all this divorce stuff. I'll bet you go longer between crys now than you did at the beginning. (and even if you don't, eh, its all part of getting over him)

Stupid computer! I hate double posting...

waaaahhhh!

Random, public crying sucks. I manage to make it through last night's dinner talk with Best Friend without bursting into hysterical tears and requesting the largest alcoholic beverage the restaurant sold.

*breathe*

Crying is healthy. Did you know that? It releases toxins from the body!

Yes, the blubering and crying and stuff stops. Eventually, you'll even wonder why you spent any energy on the crying -- really, you will. However, I'm sorry to say, it will not stop for a little while yet. There will be more and more time between the crying, and one day a whoooole lot of time will have passed since the last one, and then you'll cry once more, partly because you realize you're over it, and that in itself will be kinda sad. But then you'll be really happy because you'll realize you made it through and not only that, you'll actually know, not just think, that you're better off without him.

Crying, anger, it is all the same. For the first year after I got divorced I threw dishes at the wall a lot. I even broke all my baccarat crystal glasses by throwing em at the wall. I wish I had em back. The crystal that is, not the x.

The crying does slow down -- at least mine has. But, I still cry about my divorce and I'm the one who chose to leave the marriage! Wish it had been different, but it wasn't and it still hurts. Everyone heals differently, and at her/his own pace. Your friends will love you through it all!

i recomend eyelash dyeing. and then i recommend "when things fall apart" by pema chodron. worked for me! (well, mostly... um, partly).

You're not the only one that sniffs yarn...I do too! My friend O; however, first fondles it, THEN sniffs it, then goes "ooooooo". Truly a scary thing to behold!

Aw girl. I know how hard this is, but the public crying does eventually go away.

I hate the random crying for no-good-reason-whatsoever! I keep telling you-go out and have meaningless sex with a hot waiter or bartender from brazil! There has to be tons of those out there and I promise, you'll feel better! Just give them a false name, like...Magrite or something french sounding! Voila! Or should I say, "Oooo la la!"

At least your yarn sniffing fulfills some purpose - mine doesn't and is therefore far more idiotic. I don't have a sense of smell you see, and never have - but I still sniff the yarn. Weird. I think it's just instinctive.

I found that the random sex approach worked quite nicely in the dry your tears quest. As someone wise once said "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone." Then again, I've always been a bit of a slut. Hey, even if it doesn't totally stop the crying, you'll have something for YOU in the deal.

Love the yarn sniffing!

Highly recommend doing a "yarn store crawl" as opposed to a "bar crawl." Cuz then you get to go home and lay out all your purchases and sniff to your hearts content!

(I have a friend who rolls her eyes and asks if I'm gonna sniff the yarn every time we go yarn shopping....yeah? So what if I sniff it? I bet everyone who works here sniffs the yarn.)

Don't worry, dudette. Crying is so a part of healing. And of course they're your friends, so they're not going to care if you cry randomly! They already know you're batshit and love you for it. All the cool girls are.

the good news... being sick and tired of the crying is the beginning of the end of the crying. really. the not so good news...you will still get stomach knots ( without the tears) for a while. at least your not in denial, or worse, buried you emotions. the healing hasnt even started for those poor folks. you will get there...promise.

Dear Laurie,

"Every-body huuuuurts, some-times..."

I've never been married, thus never been divorced, and have still known to cry in front of a group of strangers. And I bet every person at the party has too. Because, well...see above.

I'm not a yarn sniffer, I'm a yarn kisser. I HAVE to fondle it and cuddle it near my cheek mouth.

I've never been divorced, but have gone through two nasty break ups. I used to burst into horrible, sobbing, tears everyday on the subway ride home. It was horrible. Random strangers would come up and ask if everything was OK.

Someday, something will come up and you realize that a short time ago it would have made you cry. Sometime after that, you realize that you haven't felt the need to cry in a long time. In the meantime, let it out (and avoid relationship movies).

my friends and i call the random hook up "cleaning the slate". don't do it before you're ready though. that's just from my personal experience.

and i gotta say, i am not a public crier, but i do have dreams with the ex - nothing x-rated, mind you - we're just doing cheesily perfect things like going to the beach during the summer or making dinner together. and that sucks. waking up day after day and know that the perfectness in your dream isn't real.

wow. that's depressing. i am going to go find chocolate.

chin up, kiddo - there are ton of people that you both know and don't know (in person, that is) that have your back. :)

The public crying is rough. I cried all over everyone in my family at easter the year of my divorce. It does get better, just hang in there.

I would think you were crazy if you did not cry. If it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend cries when he watches Overhaulin'.

I sniff yarn all the time. And then nuzzle my cheek with it (so I will know if it's itchy, duh)

I work at a yarn store. I sniff other people's yarn when they're checking out.

Once, I worked in a grocery store, and a lady bought my favorite soap, I wasn't even thinking, I instinctivley sniffed it... SHE FREAKED OUT AT ME, saying it wasn't sanitary. LADY! It's fully wrapped! And did not touch my nose. I Had to let her go get another bar. Man.

No one has yelled at me for smelling their yarn or rubbing my cheek with it. They don't even give me weird looks.

It stops. It takes longer than you want it to, though. I hate crying in front of other people, too, especially at "inappropriate" times. But you wouldn't mind if they cried because they were going through a suckass divorce, right? I'm tellin' ya, it's hard to be as nice to ourselves as we are to other people. Just pretend you're someone else, and pat yourself on the shoulder and tell you it's ok. You'd do that for them, right? And they still love you.

I still see a book in your future. Really.

Oh, that fabric warehouse makes me want to cry!! So so amazing....Oh well. Probably not worth a trip across the country.

Sounds like a pretty sweet weekend, with just a minor little ick at the end. Sorry 'bout that. ;)

This too shall pass. I'm not lying either. You're still in the midst of everything, although it feel like it may have been going on for ages. You'll get through with flying colors and that amazing personality of yours will still keep you on the top of everyone's invite list.

On a completely different note, why did you have to say anything about Michael Levine having a fabric by the pound attic? Now that I have a sewing machine, I've been itching to sew somthing and now you're enabling me with fabric...if only I could figure out how to make a bobbin!

Wow, what a full weekend!

I second Patti's comment. I see a book deal in your future too. And if buckets of $100 dollar bills don't ease a little bit of the hurt, then gin and tonic will. Oh, and dancing. Dancing and Karaoke.

And the public crying? It will ease up, it will... I promise. But it will also just pop back out unexpectedly, like at stop lights when you hear Lucinda Williams or Bonnie Raitt on the radio... or if you are at Taco Bell and they put onions on your soft taco and you hate onions, or if you are at CVS pharmacy trying to find your correct deodorant and they only have the ones that smell like a whole garden exploded in your armpit.

Frustrating, yes… but just keep a handkerchief in your purse and you’ll be fine. My father sent me one of his … it seemed to help. Ask your sweet daddy to send you one.

Sweetie, it does go away - the public, random crying-jag thing - but it takes time.

I have been divorced for ten years and it was my choice, but I still have my moments. Mostly, my regrets are about spending too many years with a man who didn't appreciate what a great girl he had and the fact that I wish I had dumped his ungrateful butt sooner... but I digress.

It gets easier with time. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you ever come to Oklahoma, you are welcome to both talk bitterly about divorce and cry all over me. I can't say that I can do anything buy listen, but that's what friends are for. Even friends who only know you from the Internets. :)

I don't know from divorce, but I do know that the more sane I get, the more I cry. Sometimes at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME. But you know what, sometimes that's when things are the most painful. What am I supposed to do, stuff it? It's tears, not anthrax.

Dang, you have a lot of sluts reading your blog. Hah! I mean that in the best way possible! I wish I'd had the nerve to do some slate cleaning in my day!

I had a fabulous time on Saturday. I'm sorry you had bad moment on Sunday. Maybe it would help if, when you feel the tears starting, you just think, "I am entering a critical period of desalinization!" (which... you are, because tears=salt+h2O).

I was looking at that picture thinking: Huh? Is that camouflage-roses? And, sure 'nuff!

And, um, when exactly did you cross on over the Pacific to reach Asia??

Last thing: You'll become "normal" again and be able to wear your mascara. I think it's like dealing with the death of a loved one (which I've had to do in the past year). You finally feel like things are going well, then your daughter starts asking (for her own clarification), "Where's Great Grandma... and Great Grandpa?" There are just topics that'll set you off for a while. Like a great wine (and unlike my rear - but that's another story altogether), it'll improve with time.

x to the bazillioneth power on the crying thingymabob (and yes as a matter of fact, bazillioneth is a word as is thingymabob). But honey, the thing that just choked me right up? Was the rack of knitting mags at your B & N. Is that light from the clouds parting and doves descending over the most holy of places? Ah..just me then. As an indication of how sad my life is - you experienced my perfect day: breakfast out, stash coveting, rummaging, and IKEA.

Oh, it does get better! You'll cry, that won't go away, but WHY you cry will change for sure.

If you happen to read all your comments: I would imagine that your wanting for that emotional period to be over means you will get there. For some people, they just stay stuck in their sorrow. Not good.

But what is more important is that next time you go to Ikea it has to be all about the lingonberries. Say it with me out loud - lingonberries. Makes it sound all dirty and fun. Check out the lingonberry juice that they sell in the cafeteria and in their food shop section. Delish!

Can I PLEASE come stay with you? Pretty Please? My husband says it's OK. We would have so much fun together, I just know it, cuz asking strangers to take pictures of me in Ikea (which I've never been to by the way) is just the sort of thing I would do! For now I will just have to settle for reading about all the fun!

The crying does stop.... I promise.. Like another noter said... Crying is good for your body... so just let it out... Your friends are your friends for a reason... They love you!

and just so you know you aren't nuts... I smell yarn too!

Laurie, I'm sorry to say it, but we're Cancers. No matter what, we'll always be crying. It's what we are. I cried like a mo-fo on Friday night. All because I saw a cute boy get into the car of a pretty girl. NOT KIDDING!

Yes, honey, it WILL get better. Like some of the others have said, it gets longer between the crying jags. (Prozac helps too. A lot. But you hafta stop drinking, so there's a downside).
Don't worry about crying in front of your friends...I cried all over everyone at work for a year.

Ever watch Six Feet Under? The mom on the show, Ruth, was taking a class at Unwind. See how hip you are? Sorry that you had such a crappy Sunday afternoon. When shit happen, it sucks...sorry babe. Your blog rocks!! I am addicted.

That does sound like a perfect day... breakfast out, fabric by the pound, IKEA - love IKEA. I am so excited that one is going to be built here in Sacramento sometime during the next year (I got so excited over the mere idea of an IKEA being built here that I failed to notice WHEN it would be built).

God, I wish I could remember the math someone told me when I was going through a very nasty break up...something like it takes two months per year you were with someone to really get over them.
Like everybody says it does get better. You get to go through every stinkin' stage of the grieving process and it takes its own sweet time but the frequency of the crying decreases as the depression starts to lift. I'm not generally a cryer but holy cats did I cry over EVERYONE during that stinking break-up.
(Whoever recommended "Things Fall Apart"? Wonderful book. I read that and found it so completely helpful. I'd also recommend "The Wisdom of No Escape" by the same author.)

As with many other of your stalkers, I've been at the crying in public stage a couple times. My big thing was crying in the car because of a song and I still can't watch City of Angels. *sigh* Is a good movie too. Plus he has been gone 6 years. Takes longer to get over the wanting to slap the crap out of him than the crying part. hehehe

What you should do for a living is open up a large bed and breakfast type place for your stalkers to come hang out with you. You could of course hire someone to do all the cooking and cleaning for you. You would be to busy entertaining. I would be your first visitor. hehehe

To quote my favorite movie EVER "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger." I see that happening in you, CAP. You grow stronger every day and you are out in the world, living your life, so you sure as shit ain't dying! Tears are a part of life; they are cleansing. I admire you so much! You're funny, witty, fucking hysterical and doing just fine!

I'm all for the bed and breakfast idea! I miss California (was born in Covina and grew up in Monrovia) and would love to spend a weekend with you, shopping, drinking wine and knitting! Hang in there, kiddo. You're doing GREAT!

Don't let the crying get to you. It will get better. You are going to be fine. Really, you are fine now. The occassional crying jag doesn't make you not fine. It makes you normal. Crying is healthy. I'd be more concerned about you if you were just bottling it all up inside. At least if you are crying regularly and letting it out, there is a decreased chance of you pulling a weapon on Mr. X in court on Thursday.

P.S. Today I was yarn shopping and I caught myself sniffing yarn. I don't remember eve sniffing yarn before!! Thanks, Laurie

It does get better. My parents are divorced, and my mom is now remarried to someone who also went through a divorce. At first my parents would fight (my dad's choice... my mom wanted an amicable divorce), but my dad is feeling better enough now that he can talk to my mom. And my stepdad's ex no longer screams at him on the phone. (She decided she was a lesbian... he said they could still live together, but she moved out and poisoned the kids towards him... she was kind of messed up... we suspect from the fertility drugs she had taken.) Anyway... if Bob's super-messed-up-divorce settled down, and my dad can stand to talk to my mom, it truly must get better. And if you ever feel miserable about your divorce, I can tell you some horror stories that will make you feel better. Or, the fact that my mom didn't meet her "soulmate" until the second try. (I truly believe they were meant for each other... my stepdad is the greatest person ever, and they love each other so much.) So, keep trying, and if you're lucky, it won't take until you're fifty. ;)

Oh... and one other thing. Take two B complex vitamins a day... preferably the ones marked as being for stress. I had spontaneous bouts of crying in high school (due to stress), and the Bs cleared that right up. :) It doesn't take the problems away, but helps you handle them with a level head.

It ends eventually. Time passing is a great anesthetic.

I know of at least two other yarn stores nearly within walking distance of Unwind and they are both open on sundays. One is slightly snotty and overpriced and the other is top secret and extremely reasonable but hell ya know I can be bought cheap. Bass or Sapporo.

Lord, I wish I had a dollar for every time I'd cried in public/at inappropriate times! Cringe factor high, but if you have to, you have to - your friends will still love you!

Looking at statistics, half your friends will divorce too - you'll have plenty of opportunity to be the friend who gives compassion and not just the one receiving. It just happens to be your turn. And you know, one day you'll be crying and you'll say to yourself "hey, this is the first time in months!" - and then it'll be even longer, and most of the time you'll be just fine. Only real jerks go through divorce without grief.

It must be crying season- I cried on the phone with mom this weekend. For no reason, but of course try explaining that to her! Then I cried Sunday watching 50 first dates- and I'm not supposed to be hormonal right now.

I am going to DITTO Amy's advice!! And yes, it does stop and eventually you can even mention their name without the need to hurl or throw things at the wall. Promise!!

i want to be your best friend and give you a hug and tell you that yes, one day the tears will go away. you are a kick ass girl and i hope you feel better soon.

I have to tell you, I did the uncomfortable crying thing too, but I don't remember it. Why? Me and the ex broke up while I was having stomach surgery. So I had morphine and oxycontin, to let me either bawl out my emotions (although not often, that hurts your stomach staples something awful), and never remember it, or just be plain drugged. To this day, I still say that's the best way to get through a divorce. Stomach surgery + Painkillers.

Trust me, it gets better ... it's nearly fine now, and it's only been a little over a year.

Though I always saw mascara as my Secret Weapon against crying: if I wore it, and I didn't want to look like a raccoon, I couldn't cry. It worked.

I know I'm only like, um, 3 weeks or so behind on this, but being a young divorcee myself (married *and* divorced at 21, dumbass anyone?) I just wanted to let you know that it does stop eventually (I'm 5 years out now) at the very least it gets MUCH MORE INFREQUENT. Which is a good thing, because Jesus Christ I was pretty freaking sick of getting drunk and blabbering bitter things and then sobbing and feeling ashamed. Mine was pretty ugly too AND to top it all off, everyone just wanted to ignore that it ever happened, which isn't good for closure and all.

Oh, and as a tip, it's better to get all the slubbering and sobbing out now than holding it in. Cause it will come out, and you don't want it to come bursting all out in like 4 years when you least expect it and think you're all done with it.

It does get better. You will be just fine, I promise.

Jackie