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June 16, 2005

Really, it was funny.

I had this funny story here all written up about this funny thing that happened that one time, when we were at that place, and then the computer flipped me off and died and when it came back to life the goodness was all gone.

Too exhausted to re-type, and also maybe mad, and kind of hating the techmology, I refuse to redo the whole thing, so here's a little conversation. Me and my dad on the phone.

My dad: They found a CIVIL WAR cannonball right HERE in Hernando Beach. Isn't THAT something? (Author's note: Everyone in my family has this way of talking in ALL CAPS for emphasis. Genetics or something.)

Me: They found a cannonball in Florida? Because, um, since when was the Civil War fought in FLORIDA?

Dad: (insert here a sigh of deep sadness that me, his college-educated child, has to be explained the STILL RELEVANT TO THIS DAY history of the War Of Northern Agression.) Well, as you should know, the Northerners, the, you know... the Yankees ... had taken up residence at Pine Island. Illegally, of course. And the Southern soldiers, as you should know, our people, shot at them from ships in the gulf. But, ah, they missed. A little. Because a cannonball was found here in Hernando Beach.

Me: Well you know they were my people, then! They missed! Like, "I'm gonna shoot you Pine Island, Florida and kill you! But, whoops, looky there... we missed! Hello, Europe! Sorry 'bout the cannonball. How's it going?"

Dad: So, they found a CIVIL WAR cannonball right HERE in Hernando Beach. Isn't THAT something?

(Also, my dad totally has selective hearing. He hears what he wants, when he want. Love you, dad! Just kidding! Don't disown me! Hi!)

Me: Where exactly did they find the cannonball? In someone's yard?

Dad: No, no, it was near the road, you know, the main road. In the ditch. They were doing some roadside cleanup.

Me: No one had cleaned the roadside since the Civil War? And they just finally sent some people in orange vests out? And hot damn, ya'll, it's a cannonball?

Dad: (patiently) No, of course they clean the roads. We pay taxes. But these things are covered up sometimes. Conditions change.

Me: Conditions change? Like trash pickup day, finally, since 1862? (torturing my very patient father is challenging, but I sometimes succeed) (because I am a horrible, evil child.)

Dad: I have to go make the cornbread. Do you want to speak to anyone else?


----

Oh! There's more. While I was cleaning house (ha! more like "when I was thumbing through old photos and pretending to dust...") I found this baby picture of my little Sobakowa from when she was just a wee kitten. That's her real name, I just I call her Chairman Meow because even though she is a little bitty thing she is mean as sin and rules the house with an iron paw.

sobakowa-baby.jpg


Seeing this tiny picture of the soon-to-be Chairman Meow all helful up on my sketch pad made me want another baby so badly (if by "baby" ya'll know I mean "kitten") but they grow up so fast. Then you're stuck with a bunch of pooping cats. So anyway, it's a good thing I have pictures of kittens, since I cannot under any circumstances get another animal. They'd have to call the Jaws of Life to pry me out from under the cat hair.

In the comments section here once I wrote up the story of Soba, but ya'll know. It's too good not to share.

Right after we got married, Mr. X and I went in to a shelter place -- that was HORRIBLE and in a mall and later the lady who ran it was in the paper for being CRUEL and went to jail -- and anyway we didn't know all that yet, but we wanted to rescue one older cat.

So we found Roy, all sad and caged up and missing clumps of hair, and had decided on him immediately. I mean, no way was Roy spending another night with anyone but ME. The end.

Then as we were filling out the paperwork, someone at the shelter handed me this little handful of matted ugly fur and said, "No one will take this one. It's too ugly. All the others in its litter got adopted right away." It was covered in food and it snuggled up under my hair and kind of smelled. A little.

And so ya'll know. I immediately said I WILL TAKE THIS UGLY PIECE OF FUR YOU CALL A CAT. I will love it and love it all day long.

And that is the story of Soba, who we named after an infomercial, and also who I think is the prettiest thing ever. And mean as shit. Love you, Chairman Meow!


---

Not bad for a "Hell no I will not type anymore on this damn computer" entry. Heh.

Posted by laurie at June 16, 2005 12:16 AM

Comments

You CANNOT get another cat. They will start FEASTING on you after you have passed out one night from too much ALCOHOL!

Posted by: jacqueline at June 16, 2005 02:18 AM

soba is so cute and so WEE in that picture. wee, tiny kits make me want to get 700 for myself. clearly, i'm on my way to becomng a creepy cat lady. it's fine, i'm comfortable with it.

Posted by: jenn at June 16, 2005 04:42 AM

Silly, silly, silly! So, that's what little girls grow up to be - evil tormentors of Dad? I knew that sugar and spice and everything nice had to be a disguise.

Posted by: NolaPete at June 16, 2005 05:14 AM

Aw c'mon, you know you want another kitten. They are soooo cute! And just think of all the photo ops and blog ops! And all those kittens that need rescuing, bless their hearts....

Posted by: ~drew emborsky~ at June 16, 2005 05:22 AM

Hey Crazy Aunt Purl!!!
Awesome blog! I love the picture in your headline. Reminds me of my Mom's old knitting mags. Glad I blogged on through. :)

Posted by: Kate at June 16, 2005 06:08 AM

Why is it that sometimes the ones who are rescued from nastiness turn out mean? I was at the vet's the other day and one of their office cats has only two legs - both on the same side (poor kitty). She was attacked by a nasty dog when she was just 4 months old. I mentioned to the vet's assistant how that kitty breaks my heart whenever I see her and she said "don't bother, she's been given nothing but love and is mean and hateful." Then she went on to tell me about all the nasty things the kitty does, not the least of which is biting and scratching if you try to pet her. Still, she looked like a sweet kitty to me :) Where was I going with this? I forget...anyhoo, your cat rescuing is just still more proof of what a good person you are and you deserve WAAAAAAY better than Mr. X.

Posted by: Heather at June 16, 2005 06:12 AM

How you feel about kittens is why I have three teenagers now. Do not let them lure you in with the small cuteness.

Posted by: stephanie at June 16, 2005 06:18 AM

Ah, the siren song of the cute kitten...

Here's our new little bundle of fur we picked up at the Great Lakes Fiber Show. Gigi. After the cat in "Kiki's Delivery Service"

http://modeknit.com/blog/gigi_poodle.jpg

She is turning into such a loving little cat - poodle earring attacks aside. BONUS: Our older cat (Butkis - named after Dick Butkis) actually LIKES her and CLEANS her. Miracle!

Posted by: Annie at June 16, 2005 06:32 AM

Well, of course they didn't have roadside cleanup crews in 1865... those orange vests would have clashed with the corsets and hoopskirts. But WOW! a cannonball. The most exciting ancient thing you might find in a Wisconsin ditch is a petrified cow pattie.

If you are really feeling the need to have a kitten in your life, why not volunteer at a shelter? All the love, less cat hair on your sofa.

Posted by: Linda L. at June 16, 2005 06:54 AM

the eyes. they follow me. evil kitty eyes!

Posted by: susannah at June 16, 2005 06:56 AM

De-lurking to say YOU CRACK ME UP. I usually speak in lowercase, so you know I mean it. Hi!

Posted by: mindy at June 16, 2005 07:08 AM

Soba is so NOT ugly! What a mean thing for that person to say! I can't even go to a shelter or an animal rescue because I will come home with more cats. The last think this house needs is another cat.

Posted by: Jennifer at June 16, 2005 07:09 AM

L-You made me spit up my coffee this AM I was laughing so hard! My DH (from Alla-Bama) calls it the War of Northern Aggresion as well! to funny!!

Posted by: Lesli at June 16, 2005 07:31 AM

This post made me laugh and cry at the same time :)

Posted by: Brenda in Toronto at June 16, 2005 07:36 AM

My viscount was a little like Soba. He was obviously a purebreed siamese but the shelter (and possibly his previous owners) made him so sick that he looked awful. But unlike Soba he was a mushy lovebucket. He reached one elegant black gloved paw through the cage and snagged me as I went past. He said 'hey sweet thing, how about getting me out of the cage'. I asked animal control to get him out (which involves going into the office, asking the office lady, who calls an officer who wanders over sometime later to unlock the cage). As I waited for the officer I watched several people wander through. They approached Viscounts cage and said 'what a pretty cat', followed shortly by 'eeewwww he looks sick'(he was emmanciated as he'd lost 1/3 of his body mass). His sickness...allergy to protein which caused stomach issues.
Ahhh another comment all about me...

Posted by: IngridH at June 16, 2005 07:46 AM

Ohhh she looks like my wee Olive! (http://tinyurl.com/3zw59)

Im so sad that she is no longer my spikey little girl, and that she is now a Small Cat. At 7 months old, she's almost full grown -- where did my baby go???

Posted by: kelly at June 16, 2005 08:48 AM

You're dad makes cornbread? I don't think my dad knows what the inside of an oven looks like.

Posted by: Janet at June 16, 2005 08:56 AM

wow...that's quite the hypnotic stare Soba has!

Posted by: Sandee at June 16, 2005 09:00 AM

Chairman Meow is so cute!!

Posted by: vanessa at June 16, 2005 09:25 AM

Cutest kitten ever - we need a before AND an after shot - what's soba look like now? I can't wait to get a kitty of my very own and yes I will have the same problem....that I will want them all when I go pick one out.

Posted by: 28goingon40 at June 16, 2005 09:42 AM

The urge to rescue more animals is strong in you, Skywalker. I understand. I only have two cats (Deano & Doyle), but I would love more. But then I remember how upset Deano was when we first brought Doyle home, and how it took a couple of months before he loved Doyle, and a year until he loved me & Richard again. Now, Deano & Doyle act just like the Big Brother & Little Brother that they are. But I'm afraid that bringing another cat in would distrub the delicate balance.

Posted by: Sara at June 16, 2005 09:57 AM

Ooooh, baby kitties! So sweet. A friend of mine just started fostering kitties, which will probably be hard to let them go, but then you can have cute little babies all of the time. (but, y'know four cats may be enough for now).

I'd love a dog, but decided that one of the cats must, um, pass on, before that happens. And since my cats are going to live forever and ever and never get sick and die, I guess I'm never getting a dog.

Mr. CTK ordered new fabulous teeny tiny camera last night -- for our trip! not more cat pictures! But, what better way to test it out than with kitty photos.

Posted by: cant_talk_knitting at June 16, 2005 10:00 AM

I cannot and will not believe Soba was EVER ugly.

Posted by: Sara at June 16, 2005 10:01 AM

How could ANYONE ever say that Soba was ugly?!

Posted by: Madalyn at June 16, 2005 10:13 AM

Did I tell you about the moggyblog? The lady that writes it created "Jem." You know. It's truly, truly outrageous. Anyway, her moggyblog (cat blog) details her horde of cats. I'm talking about 17 cats or so. If you've got time, check it out: http://www.christymarx.com/moggy/blog.htm

Posted by: Cyn at June 16, 2005 10:30 AM

also, four cats - not bad.
I took a day off about a month or so ago & was watching Oprah - she had a woman on who had 80-some-odd cats.

Posted by: vanessa at June 16, 2005 11:13 AM

The first time I ever heard the term "the war of Northern aggression" was from my husband's family. I was surprised to hear it thought of that way. But I guess you do what you have to...heh.

My soon to be ex-inlaws call me a Yankee, even though I'm from Indiana...now that I live in Boston, my Yankee friends find that hilarious...

Your dad sounds so sweet...I'd be kind of excited about an old cannonball myself. History is cool.

Posted by: Mary in Boston at June 16, 2005 12:50 PM

Love the pic of Soba! How can anyone not love that kitty?

I had one like that...all sweetness and cute...until you tried to do something irritating...like say, walk. And then he would jump on you, try to take you down and then run off.

Love your dad too! Sounds just like the conversations I have with my mom (only she lives in Wyoming and it's usually something like an arrowhead or wagon wheel).

Posted by: taral at June 16, 2005 02:08 PM

Your daddy sounds like a sweet southern soul. (My dads family all comes from KY and he did the unspeakable marrying a Yankee even though he himself lived in IL). They have always referred to it as the War of Northern Agression as well. (And he says y'all and I say it by default.) I don't blame your pappy for being excited over a cannon ball but that's the history nerd in me. Oh and four cats, not so many. I was watching Animal Cops Detroit (cause you know I'm cool like that) and they removed TWO-HUNDRED AND FORTY-SEVEN cats from one house. So all told, with only four, I'd say you're not doing too bad. And another kitten would only make it five and of course that ups the sexiness factor. Thanks for the smiles and laughs. :)

Posted by: Savannah at June 16, 2005 02:09 PM

Oh no! Someone called Sobakawa ugly?! I think she's the most beautiful lady in the world, and no, I'm not just saying that because she threatened my life. I get kitten lust too. Right now Moey is going to be one in a month, which means she's not my baby anymore, but rather a big fierce kitty. I keep looking at all of her Baby Moey pictures and it makes me miss all the kitten things like the eating of my feet at 4am while I try to sleep. Well, maybe not that so much.

Posted by: Gabrielle Kang at June 16, 2005 02:33 PM

Sobakawa is cute, and I'm sure he is a comfortable sleeping surface, too — isn't that what the infomercial said? (or is that the other way around? Must be, if Soba is anything like my cat and sleeps on your head!).

You are to be commended for rescuing such little sweeties - my own little Ringo came from an abandoned box on the side of the road. Not a van down by the river, as he often tells me.

Looove your blog, Crazy Aunt Purl!

Posted by: Tanya at June 16, 2005 02:41 PM

Soba is so much like my Arwen was! One of my co-worker's had a tiny little calico cat that was so cute! She had kittens which were brought into work one day to try to find a home. I said, "We just got a kitten 3 months ago. We live in a 1-bedroom apartment and CANNOT get another one! Okay, if no one takes her within a month, I will." So guess what happened a month later? Yep! We got the kitten that was swinging from the dog's tail when we went to pick her up! Everyone thought she was the ugly one (NOT!), and some people yelled "Ahh! A black cat!" (Really! I did not make that up!) She was a sour puss, though, once she was grown up, and only liked me for some reason. She grew to be enormous (15 lbs!), unlike her mama, the tiny calico. However, she was an expert fly catcher! One swipe of a huge paw and that fly was a goner! She never missed until she got old! She lived 17 years, so I hope Soba does well for you, too!

We don't have time to miss her very often, now, though, because when she was gone, we still had Pippin, the Garfield-type cat, also large (14 lbs.). Then my daughter HAD to have a kitten, which we got from the animal rescue, (only 12 lbs., now that she's 2 1/2 years old). while there, we HAD to take poor little 6 1/2 pound unwanted Maria. She had been there 2 years, and had some severe digestive problems, which after 2 years with us, and lots of vet visits later, are pretty much gone. She still has a notch in her ear to show her rough time earlier, but she is a happy little girl now, even if she is still skittish, and still 6 1/2 pounds! Nice to have one kitty that is actual lap-size!

Now you've GOT to knit the amazing Annie corset and post a picture! You can do it! Enough hats! Time for something to go with them! (My yankee Pennsylvania family may not speak in all caps, but we frequently write that way! Every letter from my aunt arrives that way!)

Posted by: Anita at June 16, 2005 03:00 PM

MEOW! So funny how the smallest ones are always the meanest. Like they have to prove something...or something.
Have fun at SNB...I can't make it...I've started class again! BOO HOO!!!

Posted by: Christie at June 16, 2005 03:36 PM

I used to work at the library at Fla State Univ. Tallahassee was the only Confederate capital east of the Mississippi that did not fall to the Yankees. The college cadet squad was called out to defend teh city. Thats' why FSU's ROTC squad is one of only 3 ROTC squads to do so. The others are VMI and the Citadel. So much for useless trivia. But Florida was in the Civil War, at least the northern part.

TTFN

PS My boss is Miss Olivia, who called me from teh Hu,ane Society & told me to come pick her up!

Posted by: kathy at June 16, 2005 07:23 PM

Wow! That is one evil, determined kitten! THat fixed stare! No wonder she grew up to RULE ZE 'OUSE!
A cannonball, eh? Weird.

Posted by: Lynne S at June 17, 2005 04:05 AM

Many years ago, my mother sought a "kitten" for my sister and after seeing literally hundreds of kittens to cats at various rescues ended up with a young cat 8 months or so old. No big deal there, but she had been rescued from a Burger King dumpster, was emaciated, had kittens right after she was rescued, and was infested with fleas (when they found her). She just knew that this was the cat, so she brought her home. When my sister saw the cat, she said and I quote, "What is that?" Not, where'd that cat come from? or that's the ugliest gaunt white cat ever! Over the years and with lots of love she got over her "devour any food in sight include any chicken bones she could steal." She never got out of her desire for the wild frontier though. It was always "foot in face" around the house to keep her in when we were coming in or going out. Her Royal Majesty Miss Kitty lived to be about 17 years old and looked exactly like a Turkish Angora!

Posted by: NolaPete at June 17, 2005 05:01 AM

Oh and...Stalk, stalk, stalk....I'm awake and there's no new post! xo :P

Posted by: NolaPete at June 17, 2005 05:02 AM