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June 2, 2005

Many Significant Realizations

Nothing very interesting here, just what I could write up in five minutes while eating my lunch at my desk on a Thursday while hoping we'll have a fire drill or something that can get me off my chair and out of this building.

Fire drill. Please?

Significant Lunch-Time Realization #1: If my diet karma could talk it would say, "HAHA you want to eat healthy? Sure, go ahead! But every commercial on the teevee will be for cheesy nummy Pizza Hut from now on! I am Fate and I shall Tempt you!!!"

What I wanted to eat yesterday:

  • One Lil' Debbie snack cake

  • One bacon-bacon cheeseburger from Jack-in-the-Box
    with curly fries and a coke

  • Ooooh, Jack-in-the-Box? Oh man I could have
    an Oreo shake.

  • One time I had Oreo Cookie pie. mmmm. Pie.

  • My grandma made amazing pie.
    Chocolate pie. I could totally eat chocolate pie, a whole one, this very
    second even though I have not wanted pie in three years!! But today on
    a diet, I want to eat an entire chocolate pie!!

  • And I hate meringue.

  • Ooooh, but I love moon pies.

  • And Big Red.

  • And all chips. In fact, I will eat anything fried. I would
    even eat a Brussels Sprout if you fried it.

  • With ranch dressing on the side.

  • What was the casserole with the velveeta?
    I want that.

  • And ... uh, tacos.

What I actually ate yesterday:

1. Coffee (not food, but necessary for the Talking and Brain Functioning to begin).

2. Low-fat granola cereal, no milk, because apparently, I am still five years old and want to walk around eating cheerios out of a ziploc bag all day.

3. One big salad with all kinds of good stuff in it. I forget that I like salad, as long as it has something more exciting than lettuce in it. I had baby spinach mixed with baby greens and added chopped-up ham cold cuts, sun-dried tomatoes, slivered almonds and parmesean cheese. And it was good! And it wasn't fried!

4. Dinner wasn't really a stellar moment. A bowl of easy-mac and ONE glass of red wine. One LARGE glass. But I was tired and no one is perfect and work is trying to kill me with all the working and working and working I must do. (We're getting started on the Big Ginormous Project Of Summer, and the wine shall still flow all summer long, that I promise you.)


Significant Lunch-Time Realization #2: It's rewarding to use the Internets for the powers of GOOD instead of the powers of EVIL. Jennifer was so happy and cheered up by all the well wishes yesterday. I know Ethel will be appreciative, too, when she returns home to her normal place of lying on Jen's keyboard all day. Thank you all.


Significant Lunch-Time Realization #3: Dear G-D, I LOVE KNITTING.

[Did ya'll see how I put the hyphen in between the G and the D? I learned that from DDJ, who says it's a typically Jewish way of showing respect to G-D in writing. And I do respect the Almighty, my cussing and boozing and non-Jewishness aside, because every time I look at a blade of grass in my yard or a whisker on one of my cats I'm reminded of how there is Something Bigger Than Me -- Buddha, Krishna, Jesus, whatever you name it -- and also, I sort of think She's a woman, with unpredictable PMS and a really warped sense of humor. Don't ya'll think?]

So, I love the Knitting, and now I am finally (perhaps) making an amazing hat with actual ribbing and actual shaping and even though The Devil tried to make me cast on way too many stitches (as is The Devil's way), I stuck to The Math and only cast on 72 stitches. But you know I felt the lure of 89 stitches. Ya'll know how I am. Never trusting the math.

Traffic yesterday was heinous. So I cast on for this green hat while on the crosstown bus, worked up my first-ever ribbing, and had it all slipping and sliding over my brand-new Addi Turbos:


Significant (And Final) Lunch-Time Realization #4: Need More Hours, Also Need More Pi
I can't go to Stitch 'n Bitch tonight because I am being held prisoner here at this place they call "work" where there are "tasks" and also "big projects" and everyone needs it all done "rightnow" or "twominutesago." But it's cool. I have this zen-like, buddha-like thing going where I look at people and nod in an all-knowing fashion, very agreeable, and what I'm really thinking is, "Little Debbie Snack Cake. Mmmm. Snack Cake."

Also, I think the time may be upon us for more pi. My furballs need a new pi for staying well, and Jen's Ethel may need a kitty pi for getting well. Don't you agree?




Posted by laurie at June 2, 2005 1:27 PM