Love that pattern esp the "drink wine and be as happy as pie" part. I couldn't stand that heat I'm dying up here on the East Coast of Canada with our "little heat wave" I think it's in the 80's (30 celius) I'm not good at the conversion. I'm amazed at what you guys get up to in that heat!!!

I am sorry but you are the funniest knitting blogger on the PLANET! (Disclaimer - of those I have read). I am thinking of stalking you.

BTW- for the loose join on the circular needles issue, I cheat and when I sew in my cast-on tail of yarn I snug it up then. (Been knitting for eons and cannot ever make it join tightly).

Something that I try for the loosey circular join problem is to cast on an extra stitch, get to the part where you are going to join, slip the first stitch from your right hand needle to the left, and then knit the first two stitches on your left hand needle together. Then, just knit on with a smile. It works pretty well, but with super bulky yarns it may look a little funny. You could also try knitting that first stitch twisted (knit into the back side of the stitch). Love those colors that you picked out!!

My what a loverly hat you have there!

Early... Tuesday... Math...
::thud::
I swear... I love textiles and patterns and yarn and sniffing. If it t'wernt (is so a word) for the math I'd be all over knitting like me on shoes.
But alas Texas = hawt and I = not crafty and mathtarded so I will knit vicariously through you. Aye?

First of all, nice job! (That's with both the hat and the formula write-up.)

Second, if you have yet to try knitting with five dpns (four plus a working one), you should--I find it easier than using four.

Holy Shit. There is no way I will ever learn the knitting. That is just way too much work and thinking and MATH. And I hate the math.

BTW - Your Bday present - still sitting all packaged up waiting to come to you - because I can't find your addy. Pretty soon I am going to have to ask your parents for it.

Another way to avoid that loose bit where you joined the round is to take the first stitches on your left and right needles and criss cross 'em.

So...

Slip the first stitch on the left needle onto the right needle.

Take was had been the first stitch on the right needle (and is now the second) and bring it over the stitch you slipped and put it on the left needle.

Start knittin'

Or you can do it the other way 'round, not a big deal. It's a lot easier to show than explain, so I hope I didn't just add scads of confusion.

Most Fun-to-Read Pattern Ever!

The pattern/formula may be long, but it's way more fun to read than short ones. I like my patterns to encourage indulging in the drinky-poo!

And it's a hot-ass hat. Supercool!

I love that your materials include wine! :)

If a book had explained DPNs like that to me, I wouldn't be so afraid of them. You should write patterns (make up your own or collaborate with someone who makes up the piece and you just write the pattern -- whatever floats your boat) because this was hi-larious. I'd totally buy a pattern like this.

hee heeeee: you said "Measure the circumference of your head..."

Great job! I second mia's hints on the join.

When you become a famous knitwear designer you should preface all your patterns with a warning:

"The Surgeon General has determined that knitting a CAP pattern may cause an asthma attack due to excessive laughter. Use with caution."

But who would be able to resist?

Oddly enough, this all kind of makes sense to me now. I think I'm going to have to go make a hat!

Thank you, Laurie! You splain eveyrthing so good for a new knitter like me. You are a great teacher. You make me feel like I can do it too! And the steps? So many? So GOOD! Nothing left for me to wonder about.

Ooooh, I am totally excited to try all these new ways of making a good join ... mine always look sloppy and I have to do what kenamit was mentioning where you sew the yarn tail in the join to make it less cruddy.

Amanda -- it is too funny that you're like... "ODDLY ENOUGH... this makes sense..." hahahaha. Yes, make this EASY hat pattern in only eleventy hundred steps! heh. It's an outgrowth of my talking issue ;)

Cute hat there girlie!

I guess I'm just too lazy to mess around with the whole double needle thing. I use the magic loop technique instead. It's the same concept, I just work with really long circular needles instead of the double points (and clutz that I am, I don't loose stitches off the end of the needles).

Here's some instructions if anyone's interested. http://www.az.com/~andrade/knit/mloop.html

It's really easier than it looks in the pictures.

That was the best pattern I've ever read. Luckily it's minus 50 degrees and very cloudy here in the lovely California Bay Area (because you know that whole summer in san francisco being colder than a grave diggers arse thing) so I think a nice warm wool hat will be just the trick. Feel free to send me any of yours.

'Super beginner knitter'...u? I think not. You are so beyond 'beginner'. You're at least intermediate ;)

Me? Now I am a super beginner. I won't even touch circulars or dpn. Heck, I won't even look at them when I'm in the needle section. They are scary!

Switch yarn colors? Without using varigated yarn? Me? No, can't do that either.

Decreasing...without a pattern...with math!?! No thanks.

You are definetely not a beginner! You make great hats. I made my first beanie on Sunday...it came out ok. I didn't like the way the stitching of the two sides came out. That's what I get for using straight needles, huh?

Dammit Purl, I think (god help me) I totally understood what you said. Except the part about the cord on the circulars being away from you?? WTF??? Does that mean I knitted my Booga Bag wrongside out???

Ok, so when can I fly out there with all my mysterious patterns and have you translate them into southern english for me? Do you like sangria?

LOL Brianna, you are too funny. I only got into circulars for the love of my cats -- Wendy's Kitty Pi was too much for me to resist! Once I had made that big thing, I realized it was really just a very, very large hat. Ergo, me and hats.'

I hate the seaming in hats, too! That's why I do it circular style. My seaming leaves much to be desired.

Hey, are you still going to the Burbank snb?

I LOVE your pattern. You should so write more patterns, cause they are so much more fun than just k5 blah blah blah. Yaay for beating the math :)

Jeri! heh heh. Is the plastic part facing your boobs or pointing away from your boobs? I judge everything by boob proximity LOL.

Also, who cares if it's inside out? I do all mine inside-out at first and I have yet to cry about THAT, which looking at my crying track record is a frickin' miracle!!!!

Omigosh, I don't even knit, but I read your blog every stinkin' day for the laughs. Somebody oughta be payin' you for this stuff. Really.

I like the word math...I was always better at word problems. More like common sense.

a very nice hat...have a glass of wine...this calls for a celebration!

and we all know...pink and orange...so very.

I *really* want to go to the Burbank SnB this week. Haven't been there since a month ago. I need some help learning how to fringe. I have a scarf that needs some fringe oh-so-badly. And I'm the type of person who has to see with my very own eyes how something is done. Are you making an appearance at the Burbank SnB?

Laurieeee!
Excellent pattern. You are NOT a beginner. The other night at the WeHo SnB you were showing Jennifer how to hide her ends when joining a new skein of yarn, while knitting....brilliant. I've been knitting for over 40 years and I never have seen that method. You are an inventor of knitting techniques as well as a brilliant pattern writer! Mazel-Tov!

The more I read about people knitting, and patterns, gauge, and The Math, the more I realize I know nothing about knitting. It is so much more complex than I ever imagined. I have not taken math since high school (and yes, I have a college degree) and I'm still mad about them making me take trig. Booo! Hate you math. Maybe I will just stick to scarves and made up crochet hats that look funny but don't require any skill or math. But I love your hat! Good job.

Apparently I can't type and my name is now Crystak. I think i got it fixed though.

hats are so much fun! i'm glad you finally mastered them!

Math-hater and blog stalker saying hello...your hat is beautiful and I aspire to have a blog as funny and informative (don't laugh, it's really informative) as yours!

That was the best pattern I've ever read. (But really... Maths - not that scary :-) )

To help join without twisting you can knit a few rows back and forth and then join. It is easier to get it to stay untwisted with a couple of rows done. And you need to do something with that cast-on tail anyway so sewing up an inch of seam is not a big problem (also hidden by the roll).

Cool colours. My mom made me a pantsuit in those colours (striped fabric if I recall) when I was a kid. That was back in the early 70s which probably explains it.

I don't want to scare you, but I am an actual, paid mathematician who reads your blog, and I wanted to mention that your math is spot-on and very understandable. Also, as a knitter, I agree with a prior poster about casting on an extra stitch and doing a k2tog to join your first round.

phew... i was 14 posts behind. can you believe it?

but i'm all caught up now.

yay for the very nice hat by the way.

Who cares, it's just yarn! It loves you!

I love it! I suspect that The Math secretly loves you too. Why else would it help you make such a beautiful hat?? I mean, maybe The Math is like the dorky guy from high school with bad breath and acne who loved you from afar, but hey, that guy probably cleaned up nicely and is driving around somewhere in a Lexus nowadays. And could buy a gal a lotta shoes. I'm just sayin'.

Laurie. You've got the math and the hang of the doublepoints. Yea! So now you just go on ahead and try the Swirl Hat pattern I e-mailed you. It's easy math (honestly!) and the only thing different is knits plus purls rather than just knits. You'll love it, I promise!

OMG! I am SO glad that someone else didn't get the stitch marker thing! I thought it would be knitted into my hat too - so much so that on my first round project, I just estimated where the round was from the cast on tail!
I also didn't get the twisted stitches until I was 5" into it....so it didn't matter that I had no idea where the row started, 'cause I frogged the whole damn thing!

Look at you, you are so good at the maths! I'm impressed with that and with the DPN use.

Awesome, Laurie! I have been tech editing (ie. checking math and re-writing patterns) for days on end lately, which means I am buried to my neck in knitting patterns - but this was my favourite one to read so far. ;)

Yeah! For the hat pattern!

Love the hat! Love your pattern! Can't wait to make millions of hats for everyone I know!

And also? Love the shoe reference. Now if I can just figure out how the Math can help me buy more shoes and more yarn...

You are not a dumb-ass for wondering about the stich markers! Trust me... me being the person who watched somebody knitting in the round with a stitch marker who went "Whoa! So THAT's how stitch markers work"

Heather <--- amazed by the littlest thing...

I like your hat pattern! Cute, easy, and beginner friendly. :)

I love your description of knitting the hat.When I learned, oh so many years ago, it was all tooooo serious. If it is any consolation, my joins on circular knitting are always sloppy too--- after all the years I have found that I can take the tail of yarn and just go over the sloppy part- kind of like duplicate stitch- snug it up and - another piecr of magic!!! The sloppy is all gone!! Happy knitting!

Aunt Purl, you CRACK ME UP!! I have been knitting for a few years and have made several hats like these, but I printed your pattern anyway, just cuz it is damn funny. I will share it with my neighbor newbie knitting buddy too. Thanks to you for sharing your encouragement and humor.

I agree--the best pattern I have ever read. You are the first person who has been able to explain dropping a stich to me in a way that I understand--and now I know what k2TOG means!!!

Do you know that you are an internets sensation?!? Even my boyfriend reads you.

Keep up the good work.

I have needle envy. You have lovely needles. Lantern moon I bet.
If you ever saw me with my bamboo DPNs, you would not be thinking about boobs. You would be wondering how I don't poke my eye out instead. That's what glasses are for!
Noce hat pattern. Maybe I should spin up some thicker yarn...

Laurie,

Very good recipe and even though I've made many hats, I'm gonna make one using your method.

Good work on the blog, congrats to you!!!

oh how i wish i still was in the valley so i could have you show me how to use DPN!!! i tried the other night and ended up with a headache just looking at the CO stitches....i can't figure out how to do it at all!!! and the s n b book was no help. PLEASE send me an email (anyone!) if you can help me.

Hey, you don't have to do the math!
Go here,
http://www.thedietdiary.com/knittingfiend/Hats/Hat.html
enter numbers. Presto: Math done.