Birthday's are obviously not your friends. Survival kit will be necessary. What about yarn? Make sure you have multiple projects in case a knitting disaster strikes.

And while at work, pretend you are somewhere else. Works for me, especially in meetings.

Hey, I might just be first today.

There is always the possiblity that one of those bus-hijacking banditos could turn out to be hot. He might take you as a hostage and he might be fabulous. Just misunderstood. The kind of guy that got in with the wrong crowd and just needs you to redeem him. ha ha.

Was reading comments for the 20th, then when I went back to the blog I saw you made a new entry. Was hoping to be first to comment...darn the bad luck!!!!!

I;ve had some sucky birthdays too, inclding major fights with my folks, and demanding to go to Lake Havasu with my aunt and uncle, only to later find out my friends had a surprise party planned for me....which did not happen.

Try making a list of all the positive things in your life - roof over your head, clothes on your back, food for when your hungry, a job that pays the bills, etc. I works for me whenever I start thinking about all that I don't have/haven't done.
Pick one thing that you want to learn or do and DO IT! No one is stopping you but you! (That's what I have to tell myself - not that it's always successful, but I can try, right?)
As for birthdays - try having Sept. 11th as your birthday...that really sucks!
Hugs & positive thoughts being sent your way for tomorrow (which is also my brother's Birthday).
Happy Birthday to YOU!!!

Screw birthdays! Screw evil bosses that cancel your vacation. Screw aging!

I can empathize on the crappy feelings. They can just settle in on your brain like a Central California fog and you think nothing will move them. But something will. I don't mean to be Mary Sunshine, but the crappiness will lift. And you'll see that 1) your cats give you more in love and affection than you could ever expect, 2) work does not define who we are -- it is just what we do to pay the rent, and 3) you are stronger and better off since Mr. X. ran off to have his mid-life crisis. You are in the prime of your life!

But if you must let the crappy feelings work themselves out on their own, may I suggest Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie Frozen Yogurt (yummy, and because it's yogurt, I don't hate myself after eating the whole container).

a small list of my own:
1. ten points, crazy aunt purl, for use of the word convivial in everyday life.

b. why in hell would you want to cut back on the carrying on? it is what is best in life.

3. the pack of capris? in the survival kit? i'm laughing my ass off.

4. i, too, have to work on my birthday this year and am, in fact, mighty pissed about it, too. and i didn't even have a good fun day planned.

i inadvertantly made the prior comment anonymously, which i find to be creepy and stalker-like. but not in the fun way. my apologies.

So sorry about working your birthday. That just plain sucks.

Awwww, sweetie....listen...you're never really alone...you've got lots of cyber friends and 3 dimensional friends and your family...and your cats.

It does suck that you have to work on your birthday...but trust me, you are NOT OLD...not at all...and you will turn a corner soon and find that you are much better off with your life than you ever thought possible.

Now enough with the platitudes...If you want to email me I have a website that I have been visiting for awhile now...and it's all about support for people who are going through what you are going through. I can give you the website and you can check it out to see if it is something you might like to try.

(((((Laurie))))) It's gonna be great soon!

Um, WOW am I grumpy today. whoops!

As a previous poster said - try having September 11th as your birthday. It's mine. And I'd come to live in this country precisely 4 days before. Even now when I give my birthday in doctor's offices I get the evil eye, like it's all my fault.

I agree. Birthdays suck big time. I like to pretend mine don't exist. Pretty easy to do for me. Hope the banditos are hot and maybe the power will go out at work and they will send y'all home.

I can totally sympathize. My birthdays have sucked too - here's the sad tale - most of mine seem to revolve around car repair. Maybe I should get a bike.

- once spent 12 hours of my birthday in a car repair shop. 'Nuff said.

- spent 6 hours waiting for a vehicle emissions test to be done (can't get license without it). Had a 8am appointment and they kept telling me I was moving up the line. Meanwhile new people were done ahead of me. That was one of my finest hissy fits ever - and that's saying a lot! They moved me up very quickly - actually got tested at 2pm

- my car blew up two days before my brithday leaving me with a towing bill the size of some small country's GDP

- had to replace said car with new car - leaving me in debt the size of some big country's GDP

- had to start a new job, go home and put my beloved Doberman down - hands down the worst birthday EVER. (not to tempt fate!)

Next year I turn 40 - just can't wait to see what the Universe throws at me for that one!

Oh I CANNOT imagine having September 11 as your birthday!!!!

Also, Sherri, um... are we the same person? LOL. I once got lice on my birthday from one of the kids at my pizza party. I was 8, I think. It's just FUNNY. I mean, wrong and gross, yes, but FUNNY. Which is what I hoped this would all sound like but now I am afraid it sounds like whining.

Birthday resolution # 26: whine less.

That's pretty funny. My sister always told me everything bad happens on her birthday - like Columbine, or Oklahoma City - I was surprised to find others who think the same thing. I think I'll tell her to look you guys up.

My 40th birthday is in a few weeks and on a Saturday, no less. So I felt compelled to do something big and flashy. But then a friend announced that she was getting married that day, and another friend is throwing a "the divorce is final and I couldn't be happier" party. I've decided to celebrate their landmarks and postpone my 40's indefinitely.

Happy Birthday to you!

I also went to a funeral on my 16th birthday--however, the day picked up when the family went to the cemetary and left the cousins at home. Somehow, we let the dog in the house who jumped on the table where the post-burial luncheon was set up. The dog grabbed the turkey, ran into the back yarn, gobbled it--bones and all and then threw up! We all tried to cover the turkey plate with assorted cold cuts and cheeses 'cause we knew we'd all catch holy hell for letting the dog in the house. When the adults came home, we all said, "turkey? what turkey?" To this day, many, many, many years later my cousins and I just about pee in our pants if any of us even utter the word "turkey."

Happy Birthday!

Hey girl, its your birthday you can whine if you want to! :)

I've got no prozac, but I've got some efexor lying (lieing, laying? I'm Swedish) around. Because I just came off it. Because things do pass, and work out, even if it takes ages. I don't really know how to say this: You'll be fine. (That doesn't mean I don't love it when you share the carrying on - pour me a glass of whine the size of my head! And it doesn't mean that it's trivial either - it only means that you'll get through it, and you will have learned a lot of things on the way and be a different and bigger person, and all the other clichés that start making sense when you go through something like this.)

I think just about everyone has had a craptastic birthday or two...or six...and I won't relate my own (cuz that would take forever), but I feel for ya!

And the Survival Kit? Shouldn't there be cake in there somewhere? Even if it's in the form of L'il Debbies or Hostess.

And your NOT old. Because if you're old, then I'm old and I refuse to be old. So, I refuse for you to be old too.

I'm sending you happy birthday juju so that tomorrow doesn't suck and that somehow something fantastic happens!

Oh, I forgot - I hope you've got the kitty in that survival pack. And why wear other colours than black? Black goes with everything - all black is always perfect! And you get rid of one factor when sorting laundry.

So, don't have birthdays. Have birthmonths. That's what I do...the law of averages is in your favor that ONE day out of the month is going to be terrific. It spreads out the presents, too.

Could be worse, when I lived in L.A. the riots took place on my birthday and there was a curfew. I was divorced with two small kids that were crying because we couldn't go out for MY birthday.

#1) I thought it was very appropraite that someone bought you a wireless weather station for your Birthday.

#2) I NEED YOUR ADDRESS. How the heck else am I supposed to send your present. It is sitting there all packaged up just waiting.

#3) Did you stop stalking me?

My actual birthDAY is usually okay, but if I try anything more elaborate than a quiet family dinner and maybe (just maybe) having a single friend join us, things don't go well. That is, I have a problem with birthday PARTIES.

-There was the one when I was 6 and sick and couldn't go to the play we had tickets for, and all my party guests went without me.

-There was the party when I was 16 when two friends were sick and couldn't come at all, one was late because of Color Guard practice (acceptable), my best friend forgot it was my birthday and made baby-sitting plans, and then my last guest got hit by a car and couldn't come. (She was okay, just shaken up).

-There was my 21st birthday, when I went to Germany to meet a penpal I'd had for years and he didn't show and I wandered aimlessly around Trier on my own, in the rain. My camera broke. The batteries in my Walkman died. I finished my one book and couldn't find any other reading material in English, and the people at the Tourist Information Center couldn't direct me to his apartment! (Which, it turns out, was literally around the corner.) The highlight of that day? Seeing the house Karl Marx was born in, and since I'm a happy little capitalist, you can imagine how exciting that was!

-And, oh yes, I always take my birthday off from work, too, but a couple years ago, they decided at the last moment that I had to move my office--right THEN--and there was just no way I could have NOT been in the office for that!

Take some Fukitol (http://www.fukitol.com) sweetie. It will be ok. I agree with Marcia on the birth month instead of birthday. The whole month should be a celebration and you gotta hit one day that's good out of the bunch. You have a lot of great friends here and in real life who love you very much and applaud the day you were born. You're very special to us all. How many people on the Internets have such a loyal following? Not many. Luv ya lots.

Oh, I hear you -- my birthdays have sucked to. Somehow it's not just the crap, it's the hidden hopefulness that it will be a good day that makes it all the worse. I hate birthdays on TV.

how i spent my 40th...( i was supposed to be in Banff. trip was cancelled)morning: i sneezed so hard i broke a blood vessel in my eye, had a gross red eye. afternoon: broke a tooth all the way to the gums on birthday candy, rushed to dentist, pulled tooth,pain, had bloody gauze in mouth for hours...so, 40, bloody eye,no tooth and alone. but it was kinda funny.

Oh good grief, woman, you are not old! If you are old, then that means that I am old, and I'm only five years ahead of you and I refuse to go quietly!

You are a uniquely talented individual--a great writer, and obviously a great entertainer. I know that it may be easier to say than to hear, but trust me, people love you to pieces you cute, cute, cute little thing...

And f*ck birthdays. Really. When you write, you are ageless. That is the cool thing about being a writer.

Whew! ..."convivial"!!! 10 points to Purl!

Lord, this post did take me back. My birthday's in mid-October. For years, I knew that for my birthday I would a) break up with my boyfriend, b) catch the flu after having cried my eyes out, and c) have a midterm exam in math or something horrible. The flu and the exams were a dead certainty even in years I didn't have a boyfriend. Nowadays, my birthday's just crap because it usually falls on or near Canadian Thanksgiving. The work for the family thing tends to swallow up my thing. I smell like turkey grease on my b-day. Gah.

My rule: if you don't get to celebrate your way, you didn't get a year older. Try it. You'll be forever young.

on days like that, where i'm really bitter about having to be at work, i pretty much refuse to do anything useful at the office. in my spiteful little mindframe, i figure if i'm there, that's all they can ask of me... then i sit and blog or blogstalk or read craigslist all day. dear employer somehow reading this (because you know it'll happen): haha! just kidding! i do NOTHING but WORK all the time! seriously!

laurie, i'll think happy thoughts all day long for you! and, you know, pretend i know you and stuff ;-)

Laurie, you know how to induce vomiting, right? Make sure you get really, grossly sick at the office before the end of your day today (eating the Cheetos first will help immensely to make it especially gross for everyone around you). Now I'm not suggesting barfing all over the office, just in the office bathroom. Then it's just one quick call in the morning to let them know you're STILL BARFING, et voila! Birthday off.

You could also quit your job, which I did once in order to have my birthday off, but I don't really recommend that.

I hope you don't have any coworkers who lurk here. . . not trying to get you dooced or anything. Good luck with it. Don't forget the Cheetos first. And maybe an avocado, and some Coca Cola. Perfect.

I have had a huge number of truly horrible birthdays, including last year when mr wrong not only didn't give me anything, but we fought and he sneaked the key to his house off my key ring because he was seductive and sadistic and also LACKED BALLS. And then there was the year I accidently filled my car tank with diesel. It got one mile down the road. ah the memories.

By the way, I see a book in your future, totally. You are an awesome writer - I look forward to reading your blog SO MUCH. (and I am picky picky picky) Your book will be about how knitting saved your life, but it will really be about everything. And it will be awesome.

Oh, and BTW? I'm 33 and just finished my bachelor's degree. You have lots of time to learn guitar and French and to live out your dreams. Late bloomers bloom more beautifully, and for longer.

Hate to sound proactive here, but why don't you just call in sick?

Jeez, what kind of loser with no life hangs around posting 3 comments in a row? I wanted to tell you, I went to my first stitch n bitch meeting last night (in Detroit) and I was just like you: talk talk talk. You're not the only one.

And also: I knew it was a cat scratcher tree! Hah!

Just think. This is a birthday w/o Mr. X holding you back from Who You Are. I think he mistook finding his creativity for setting your creativity free. Who You Are is a wonderful, talented, charming woman. Woman. Not a Girl.

A recent tudy showed that women who wear a grapefruit scent are perceived by men to be an average of six years younger than their actual age. So go hit Bath and Body Works and treat yourself!

On the non-fried vegetable front...If you like okra, get yourself a Foreman grill and try it grilled. OMG! it is sooooo yummy. People I know who despise okra love it grilled.

Happy Birthday from someone who just turned 35. I haven't done a single thing I planned when I was younger and I truly believe I am a better person for it.

OK, the whole head lice thing? Really cements that you DO have the worst birthday's ever. Yuck!
I already think you're a great writer. Just because you haven't finished a 400 page novel doesn't mean that you're not writing. After all, I visit you everyday, and let's be honest, you ramble sometimes. LOL. It adds up to a whole lotta writing. I love every word.

Oh, sorry that last one wasn't anonymous, it was me! ;)

I would be more than willing to fake the voice of a "doctor" and call in sick for you. In my experience, saying you have the runs ALWAYS works. You get looked down on for a few weeks afterwards, but hey.

I, too, have to work on my birthday (Thursday). Hey, we're almost birthday twins!

Uh... let's pretend I didn't say that last thing. About the twins.

Anyway, you should go see the Pants movie anyway. Bring Kleenex. You will cry. It's fabulous.

Oh, i sent a private email but someone reminded me of one more crappy birthday.

First year of marriage. Yeah. can you see where THIS is going??

!(*&#$ Husband comes home... and after a bit looks at me and says "So, what are you cooking for dinner?"

*Blank stare*

"Not only did i cook for you on YOUR birthday, but *I* actually REMEMBERED it!"

yeah. Single is a good thing when you're married to a twit. Rejoice in the divorce :)

If I could, I would totally take your birthday out back and rough it up until it learned to treat you properly. And I'd bring you wine and pretty yarn.

Ok, for starts, I'd scratch out #13. That's just wrong. #16. wanna hear about unpacking procrastination? 4-effing-years. That's how long we've been in our present house an the DH STILL hasn't fully unpacked. #17. Even "good" (ha!) marriages have their times of suckage. Don't censor yourself.

Oh, and hey, I didn't see "get shagged" anywhere in there. I hope it's either 3, 22, 23 oe 24.

Feliz acumpleanos, chica!

I love the birthday survival kit. I need to think about one for myself, since my next birthday will be number 37. Which puts me past "mid-30s" and right into "almost 40". GAH. When did that happen? What have I done with my life? Where did the time go????

So yeah. I know how you feel.

Banditos named Esteban!

Yeah, birthdays can really suck. My worst were in college - one midterm exam my freshman year, two (!) midterms my sophomore year, and junior year studying in France, only classes hadn't started yet, so I sat in my apartment alone all day until the other girl who went over from the same college as I stopped by and gave me a cigarette. Happy fricking 21st birthday.

You could always extort a cake out of those bosses of yours. It's the least they could do for making you work on your birthday. And lunch. And Happy Hour. They OWE you!

Hi. I'm a friend of Kristy's. She got me hooked on you (haha! A knitting pun and I don't even knit!), but I never left a comment before. Until now.

My birthday hates me, too. And I don't mean the "I never get what I want" kind of hates me. I mean the "my dog got hit by a car on my birthday and I was the only one there to see it, the van never stopped and I had to pull him off the road" kind of hates me. Lots of other things (mostly treasured family pets, but on one occassion a baby) die on my birthday. I am cursed. Maybe you know some fancy anti-birthday-grim-reaper voodoo I can try.

Anyway, my point (really, there is one) is to wish you a very happy birthday. The world might conspire against you, your birthday might try all sorts of nasty things to get you down, but you just don't let anything stop YOU from celebrating YOURSELF. Screw the world, screw your sour birthday curse. You throw yourself a party right there at your desk.

OF COURSE BIRTHDAYS SUCK - Think about how you spent your first one: Being pushed through a tiny hole or unceremoniously pulled out of a skylight! Geez Louise.

My b-day is the day before Valentine's day. Every year my friends would give me cards and I would spend the evening writing up cutsie little effing Valentine's day cards to give to them the next day. It's like being forced to write thank you notes before you've even blown out the candles.

Past bummer b-day experiences:
1. Argued with husband b/c he was in a cranky mood and didn't want to wait in the line for breakfast at the restaurant I HAD PICKED OUT.

2. Husband forgets to plan any festivities and calls a couple we hardly ever see, invites them out for drinks and says, "Oh, btw, it's Stephanie's birthday". I'm mortified when they arrive with a card.

3. Crazed school friends wearing paper Kermit The Fr0g party hats, jump around my house shouting "Ribbit, ribbit." Which would have been funny if they were adults under the influence of alcohol. But it was elementary school and incredibly overwhelming to my 6-year-old socially-awkward self.

I agree with Jodi, barf before you leave work.

Oh man, Laurie. Talk about taking it up the ass on your birthday. I have similar birthday woes that include, but are not limited to: 1) Getting kicked out of my father's house on my 15th because I fought back after they threw things at me ( 2) Getting a horrible stomach flu on my 17th, and spending the day hovered over a toilet, waiting for death to take me over 3) On my 21st - the day that was supposed to be a big exciting Day of Drinking Freedom - my best friend had an alcoholic episode and I spent the day - THE DAY - in an alcohol rehab center. My twenty-first birthday. All my friends from college went out and partied until the break of dawn. I went to back-to-back AA meetings. The irony was not lost on me, though I do not regret it.

I must also point out that my birthday is inherently designed to be shitty, since it falls on December 27th. So, I expect it. I imagine with a good day like June 22, the blow is even worse as each crappy crappy birthday passes.

I'm telling you this because, I suppose, I feel your pain and completely empathize. And you deserve better.

Evil birthday gods be damned.

I say you wear a birthday hat (knitted, of course) all day and whenver anyone needs to speak to you about something, make then address you as Princess Laurie/Raurie/Purl.

Remind them at every opportunity that June 22 is a NATIONAL HOLIDAY known as YOUR BIRTHDAY and that they should BOW DOWN BEFORE YOU for being at work.

Demand cake for lunch.

Happy Birthday!

I've always ended up working on my birthday - and I agree with previous posters - have a party at your desk! Wear a tiara, have cake & go to happy hour afterwards.... this is all what I do when I have to work on my birthday. Inevitably someone else has "childcare issues" whenever I want a day off & since I'm single with no kids I have a lower priority in being given time off. I've tried telling managers that I have "childcare issues" as well.... my inner child is not being cared for. They don't fall for it. So, I end up working, get drunk that night and there might be the off chance that the next morning I'm just a weeee bit hung over & grouchy.

Oh my, I had chicken pox for my sixteenth birthday! My dad kept teasing me, "Sweet Sixteen and Never Been Kissed, Except by a Chicken."

Laurie, you're so crazy in the BESTEST way possible! Luv you and I totally get the "in your 30's-life crisis" sorta thing. I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! Happy Birthday girlfriend, banditos, cheetos and all!

Happy Birthday! You are adorable and funny and so what if the gods don't always tune in for their marching orders. I love your plans for the day, I hope you get to follow through with them very very soon.

For the past two birthdays I have had to work because the women in my office LOVE to get surgery in May. I hope you have a fun day, don't let life get you down - you always have the internet <3 Ohh and on my 13th birthday my sister was sent home from school for being on drugs yesssss (and I don't even think she was on drugs) but the entire day was spent taking care of her crap. Sad panda yo.

I recommend picking a random day, say in mid-July, calling in sick, and having your Day of Fun then. Birthdays be damned!

You could call in sick - I've done it when a 1 day vacation was cancelled with no notice! I figure, hey, I've got to tell you 1 month in advance that I want it off, you had better give me at least 1 week notice that you are rescinding it!

April

Um. Happy Birthday, sweetie. Today is my birthday and I'm having a WONDERFUL day. I'm feeling guilty that I got the good one you were supposed to have. But think this: Next Year, the Fabulous Birthday! With No Resolutions! Just the Fabulous Boyfriend who takes you to the Riviera and Loves Your Body Just The Way It Is. xoxoxo, Summer Solstice Sister!

YOU TOO? Dude I have a birthday curse that hates me too....observe in the past three years:

24..guy I was in love with was FOUR HOURS late to my party, why? He went to the movies with friends instead of coming home.

25...department schedules a big to-do on my birthday so that all my friends are forced to cancel my glam. party to go to conference

26...burgermeister, dumping, went to bed with a migraine from the hours of sobbing.

Sweetie... 1st? we love you. every single one of us. 2nd - your family and your cats love you.

your list? only thing I would change, if I may be so pushy and bold and uninvited therapist with you, is to put the last one first. Be kind. And start with YOURSELF!!! It's yer birthday damnit. So take no shizznit of nobody.

p.s. I'll teach ya the only french you need: "plus du vin, s'il vous plait."

p.p.s. it's pronounced "ploo doo vahn, see voo play"

p.p.p.s it means "more wine, please"

Instead of a Ricardo or Esteban, my vote is always for Sven, the mute Swedish masseuse.

And happy birthday, from a short-time lurker. Who's not stalking. Really. Even though you're bookmarked. And I check in here everyday.

It always rains on my birthday. Always. The only time that it doesn't rain on my birthday is when I move my birthday party to another day to avoid getting rained on. Then it rains on that day.
Toss a bottle of scotch on the top of that survival kit, oh...and a hat. You know...for the rain.

It probably wasn't the point, but you look cute in those photos! My birthdays don't hate me, they just refuse to exist. I haven't done anything special for my birthday in years. Sweet sixteen my friends were busy so I stayed home with my mom (it was a Friday night for crying out loud!). Eighteen, nothing at all. We didn't celebrate my twentieth and I swear I felt like 19 for an extra 3 months or so. Stupid birthdays. Just don't do any real work on your birthday, you'll show them! :)

yo, laurie! Happy birthday! I wanna send you something for your birthday girl, for being all funny and knitty and cheerful in a honest biting way, or cynical in a cheerful way, or some such thing I can't quite put into words but I heart your writing, and especially for that whole bit you wrote about the bus on fire that day. email me your snail mail and I will make with the birthday mailage! :-)
gaile

Ok, someone may have suggested this already, but I got real confused around comment #50. Sorry about the birthday VACATION day being cancelled, but is there any rule about a birthday SICK DAY being taken? Just a suggestion. Any workplace that would screw up everyone's vacation like that may just need a little screwing up themselves. However you spend it, I hope it is better than past birthday's have been for you.

Ok, someone may have suggested this already, but I got real confused around comment #50. Sorry about the birthday VACATION day being cancelled, but is there any rule about a birthday SICK DAY being taken? Just a suggestion. Any workplace that would screw up everyone's vacation like that may just need a little screwing up themselves. However you spend it, I hope it is better than past birthday's have been for you.

What happened to living out loud? Out with the private! ;) We loves the juicy bits.

Birthdays, New Years, all those "big days" are always terrible because of the expectation. We have lots of ther bad days, but you remember those ones because we put those days up on pedestals and burn it into our heads that they have to be memorable, and of course it's always bad memories. Me personally? I didn't have many disastrous birthdays, but they were always bad and disappointing.

But anyways, happy birthday! ;)

Most people end up old regreting, not what they've done, but what they HAVEN'T done...

So keep on "carrying on".

And call in sick on your b-day

I'd also like to suggest drunken making out with random man in a bar to birthday resolutions. Sometimes its just what a gal needs (and afterwards, if it turns out you didn't need it, you can blame it on the drinkies) to get a little boost.

you know, i always hated birthdays, because, well, they always sucked. one day, my life changed, and it started to not suck, i stopped getting bummed when it approached. it stopped sucking. so will yours. you know i have a strange psychic vibe..i promise that by your next birthday things will have come full circle, you will not believe how happy you are. i swear it. look at how great you are doing already. it would have never been able to happen if asshole didn't leave.

Oh Christ, I mean June TWENTY FIRST and HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Because I am an idiot, I assumed that you were talking about tomorrow as your birthday. That's right, I am a dolt.

Happy birthday!

"maybe the bus will by hijacked by banditos"

You know your birthday may not like you, but there are sure alot of people here that do. You have lots of great things going for you plus you are really stinkin' funny!

Keep on Keepin'On! ( yeah i know that is lame but it all I can come up with on short notice!)

--Julie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRRRRRRTHDAAAAAYYYYYY AUNT PURRRRLLLL!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Now, first, if your bus gets highjacked - think of the positive part of this experience... well, be sure to bring your knitting, because you've now got a perfect excuse for missing work!

Second, a little French lesson for the day:

C'est pas grave. (or really correct grammar version: Ce n'est pas grave)

Pronounced: Say pah grahv

My almost-4-year-old daughter comes out with this almost every time she gets scolded. What does it mean?

Something along the lines of "It's no big deal." Try to make that phrase your motto of the day. It seems to make my daughter happy.

Fight the Birthday Power I say! See it as a challenge and force yourself to have fun anyway! In otherwords: Get Hammered at Work! I mean, hell, they took away your birfday off just to make 'the man' richer...you should get some you-time in return. Start with a couple of bloodymarys with breakfast, kalua with bailys and coffee at your desk, and I'm thinking southern comfort and sprite in your squeezy bottle for lunch! What could go wrong, its just a bank!? Its not like it's your money. And after you've worked up a good buzz, get a couple of cooworkers to watch your back, and go 'money swimming' in the vault. Just dont forget to wait at least 20 mins after eating or you'll get cramps. And watchout for those gold ingots, theyre not as soft as they look.

Yeah - what everybody above me said -
1. Happy Birthday
2. You are NOT OLD - I was born 20 years before you and if I'm not old then you certainly are not
3. Be happy you don't have a jerk faced jerk off in your life anymore (too bad today couldn't be D Day - THAT would be a great present)
4. Remember to add a couple of knitting project to that survival kit - and more candy too
5. Since you might be at work when you read this - eat the cheetos and some cola then barf - ALMOST at the toilet at work - gotta leave proof ya' know? And be too sick to clean it up - you need to go home, woman!
6. Know in your heart as well as your head that you're a talented writer. You have many of us enthralled and waiting for the book so we can say "yeah, I was reading her blog for years!"

'nuff said - got to give the cat her morning combing then go to work -
Have a lovely day, chica. Even if you work, remember your resolution 1. Zen through it. You are woman, you are strong, you are WONDERFUL.
hugs
Leslie

Happy Birthday!

i'm not even going to try and cheer you up on this one. you're right - birthday's suck! i'm with you!

like the time the ex accidently forgot to get him boss to approve his holiday leave and had to delay his vacation by 3 weeks...meaning i went to europe by myself for the first 3 weeks and spent my birthday at the top of the eiffle tower by myself. on the positive side - i was in paris!

how would do that to their loved one! hence he is the ex!

first of all:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

and don't be so desperate about having to work on your birthday - i worked the last 10 years on my birthday ( i hope, my english isn't too bad *g*) - so i know, how you feel - i always say, i wanted it this way, so i don't have to feel bad ...

i found your blog yesterday and i lovelovelove it - so please continue to live loud!

have fun this evening,

soma

Happy Birthday!
I stumbled upon your site earlier this week and it immediately made my list of must reads.
I hope you make it (err...made it) through the day with minimal bandito sitings. I always found a bott...err...glass of wine and some knitting was nice way to pass the evening sans birthday disaster (unless you drop one too many stitches).

I found your site yesterday, and it rocks so hard. Kindly say hello to the city of angels for me (used to live there a few years back, now near London), another goodbye to the dumbass ex (yup, had one of those too) and send bundles of love to your cats ('cause even if I've never met them, they're cats, and all cats are divine).

And have a very happy birthday - if not now, then an unbirthday somewhere down the road starring lots of wine!

If it makes you feel any better, I am 35, have lived in Montreal for 17 years and STILL don't speak french worth a damn.

My cat doesn't seem to mind, however, so I don't particularly care.

Happy Birthday!!!!

Happy Birthday, from one Laurie to another!!

First, 34 cannot be old. It simply cannot be, because I will be 34 in December. Also, though I feel horrible for you due to the ugliness directed at you by your birthday, at least you have your own day. Try having Christmas for a birthday. No parties ever because no one is ever available; no going out drinking on my 21st since everything is closed; having to remind people it's your birthday if you are in need of a "happy birthday".

Please pardon my mini-pity-party in the comments to your blog. Hopefully you can take a bit of comfort in the fact that it's certainly not just you who has a birthday that hates you (though even mine has not brought a funeral, so...you win on that front).

Happy Birthday to you ! I found this site via the Bossy Little Dog knitting blog. It's my birthday today too, although I have taken a few more laps around the earth then you. Cheesie-flavoured snacks must be a part of any birthday celebration. Isn't that written down somewhere?? All the best...

Its Wednesday - 9:30 CST - Happy Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHICA!!!

Bonne fete a toi
Bonne fete a toi
Bonne fete, Crazy Aunt Purl
Bonne fete a toi!

From a Crazy Canadian blog stalker. Of course, all Canadians are crazy. We, like, speak French up here and stuff! Come visit, we'll teach you all you need to know!

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday! Those resolutions of yours? Lookin' good. But guess what - the writerly stuff? It's already happening. We readers are the proof. Best wishes to you, and take a day off in July and celebrate then? Birthday days off can be malleable.

I usually do not comment I am just your typical everyday blog stalker, but today I have just got to say a few things:

A. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!
B. I too am a Capri Smoker, so happy to see someone else, even though you may be onthe other side of the country. Here in Southern Maryland, I think that I may be the only one who smokes that brand. I get teased every time I do to the gas station to buy them.
C. My birthdays always suck too. I have gotten to the point where I block them out after so I don't have to have the memories of the suckage that is my birthday.

Love you Blog! Stalk, Stalk, Stalk

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!

This is going to sound insane even though you probably hear it from blog strangers every five minutes, but I adore you.

I hope you had the best birthday ever, no poison ivy, no cast, no heebie jeebies, and that a Certain Stupid Man has all of the above. And that he never finds out about the voodoo doll. Ahem.

Hey, sometimes, nothing is better than a list. It lends optimism to an otherwise stressful time! Lists are wonderful, wonderful tools :) Happy birthday (I know I'm late on this)!

I signed on to aol.com and the news headline was:

Should Karl Rove Apologize?

*and yes, I think he should appologize to you.