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May 27, 2005

Stitch 'n Bitch 'n Longest Post Ever

Are ya'll sick of hearing how much I love Stitch 'n Bitch yet? Well, don't answer that cause you know what's coming right? Seven gajillion pics of girls gone wild with nothing but string and sticks!!

Sweater Update
Last night was the best gathering yet, in spite of the fact that several key folks were missing, but it was seriously the best SNB ... BECAUSE I DID NOT SWEAT!!! I am either so tired from all this socializing that I am too worn out to sweat, or I am finally more comfortable around these folks, or it was freezing up there. I do not know. And even though I blabbed and blabbed on and on, at least I wasn't a sweaty over-talker, and that is an accomplishment of ginormous proportions in my life.

(Click on any small images to see big,
huge, bandwidth-hogging pics.)

Yarn gluttons. Yup.

Also, Ellen had the brilliant idea of moving all the tables ahead of time into a long, Last Supper-type formation and it worked out great and the fung shui was good. We had the knitting chi, ya'll.

But I have a question. Do you think Carrie didn't show up to SNB because me and Jennifer scared her away with the sloppy drunkenness that occurred late in the evening of the BBQ Party? Maybe we frightened and annoyed her to such an extent that she now has to miss Stitch 'n Bitch. Carrie, if this is the case, or if I accidentally poisoned you with "ground" burgers at the party, I am infinitely sorry. Promise I'll be sober and serve good food next time! Come back to SNB!

We'll Miss You, and Thanks For The Yarn!
It was also a very sad Stitch 'n Bitch because Laina is leaving us to go off to Boston and become a Bahstun knitter. Hey! There are some amazing knitbloggers in Boston, and ya'll know who you are (some drive mini coopers, some are lawyers, some are runners, some are spinners, I'm just saying!!) and so I hope you'll welcome Laina and email her and stalk her in person for me. I miss her already.

Regina and Laina; Regina, Gaby, me, Laina at the end of the night.

This Is Where The Talking Occurred
Maybe because I was so mellow (read: tired) or unsweaty (thank you, God!!!) or maybe just because after a while you feel more comfortable with people, I felt like last night I got to learn more about folks individually. Tami brought her son and you could see her in the Mom Mode, which freaks me out because she's so young and laid-back, but then, like magic, she has the mom voice. FREAKY! And Natalie is finishing up her dissertation in Anthropology and her project and the research involves Las Vegas, and all I can say is that the minute she publishes it I want to read it. With a cocktail.

And Lori, who I just met last week, has the most open, generous smile and I like her EVEN THOUGH she tried to give me irrefutable proof that Tom Cruise is gay. WHICH HE IS NOT. Shutup! Maverick is so straight. And by the way, I don't even like Tom Cruise that much, but I LOVED Top Gun and when you start telling me Maverick is gay, you're flying to The Danger Zone (hah!)

Natalie with her pink shawl; Tami and Lori and part of Laina knit and talk.

Crystal, who never finishes any project ever because she is a Perfectionist and Hilarious and also maybe Totally A Nut, finally completed a project! It's a perfect red hat (that she only frogged four times heh heh). Crystal, do you know why I love this about you? Because you understand my needs, as a Control Enthusiast myself, to have a perfect hat. So, congratulations on finally finishing a project!!

Faith crocheted the very last stitch of the Talking Stick afghan squares all together and she was so happy she about did a cartwheel. It's done! Fini! Finito! She's been working on that project since January (which is when I started knitting!) (!!) And Christie came to SNB and got to stay longer this time, and I am so glad I met her. She's very glam and down-to-earth all at the same time.

Faith knits, Faith so happy! All done! Christie is all about superstar knitting!

Oh! Look! I met another celebrity!!This is Shannita Alleyne, she's a fiber artist and she was on Knitty Gritty and also had a pattern in Stitch 'n Bitch Nation! She created the newsboy cap. Last night she unvieled this beautiful hand-knit sweater with a gorgeous brooch and modeled it for the camera:

Gorgeous. And the sweater ain't bad either.

The Valley Is Coming To Get You
There were actually THREE other Valley Girls at the West Hollywood SNB last night! Proving that my theory of Valley Supremacy is coming true and before long we will take over the WeHo SNB. I could write an entire manifesto on this, and in fact I think I will. Look for that coming soon to an Internets near you.

Kate and Teri both live in the Valley and we got to compare notes about all the local yarn haunts. Here they are, Teri on the Left, Phyllis (not from the Valley, but cool enough that she COULD BE from there) in the center and Kate on the right side. Notice the two-buck Chuck!! Kate is also a self-proclaimed cat lady, although with only two cats, she does not get the "crazy" in front of her title just yet. You need at least four to be buckwild crazy cat lady. Debra, Cool Valley Girl, brought her adorable daughter Gaby (who knits better than I do!) with her to stitch 'n bitch, so technically we had 3.5 more Valley Girls in attendance. Ya'll just wait. Before long we'll be "totally, like for sure" taking over the world. Farmer's Market is just the first stop.

Debra with Gaby, smile, ya'll! Teri, Phyllis, Kate. Hi! The Valley RULES!! Bow down to us and our one-thousand-degree summers!!!!

Felting, Cute Kiddos, and Leg Warmers. Perfection!
Laina made a camera case out of Debbie Bliss "SoHo" and felted it by hand and it was the ooh and aaaah of the evening, such a big hit! Here she is with Gaby, Master Knitter Kidlet, showing off the bag. And Ellen made me an amazing spa cloth that I took a picture of but it came out blurry. BUT! She made it for someone named "red-cheeked girl" hah hah. Yes, I know. Me and my red face are now infamous on the Internets. (Note to self: never post party pics when slightly hungover and maybe still drunk from the night before.) So instead, here is Ellen posing with Laina and the Shut Up candle I brought her.


We also had two Saras! Sara #1 came to Stitch 'n Bitch straight from some kind of sporting activity she does (I didn't ask because I avoid sports, and even the mention of them) but nevermind, because this girl never takes a bad picture. And Sara #2 had on the coolest leg warmers ever!! She made them!! I am relieved and happy to find a hot chick reviving the legwarmers trend, It's about time, dammit! Regina and I already started talking about how we should wear legwarmers, too.

Sara #1 strikes a pose; Sara #2 wearing leg-warmers, too cute!!

Crochet, The New Pilates
Regina manages to drink wine and still crochet using tiny little thread that is so small it's practically invisible, and she uses a crochet hook the size of a toothpick. How she does this with no mistakes is a complete mystery. I believe the answer lies in the wine. Here she is with Ellen, they're displaying some of Regina's amazing Crochet Monsters. She is such a talent. That warped sense of artistic beauty had me at "hello." (P.S. TOM IS NOT GAY.)

More Mystery, and Possibly I Need Therapy
Below is an image of Kathy teaching Laina and Gaby about hand-spinning. Now, OK. Bear with me here. But remember the class I took with Knit Goddess Annie Modesitt? (You can read about my class here. Go on, go look, then come back. Pay special attention to the pictures.) So, see how Kathy, pictured right here, is the SAME EXACT Kathy who sat across from me in class? Well, I was so excited to see her. I was all, "Hi! Hello! I was in Annie's class with you! Hi!"

And ya'll, she did not remember me.

So, you know, either I am A) so completely unmemorable that I fade right out of someone's head two minutes after they meet me, or B) I just have one of those faces that people sort of think they've met before but can't remember where, or C) She saw my pictures online and thought, "That can't be the same girl, she's so fat in person!"

Now, I realize Option C doesn't totally apply here because Kathy already met me in person. But in general I fear that people will meet me and think, "Yeah right. Nice photoshopping job, there, Purl." Or maybe I'm just not momorable. Or maybe I'm just PARANOID and should up the meds. Pass the wine, please!

The Medication Arrives
Speaking of wine, Michele and Darcy came all kinds of prepared for the night... ya'll they brought wine and strawberries and chocolate and they are now officially the favorites of the whole group. So! Good thing to know! If you do decide to get out to your local SNB, take chocolate!! People will think you hung the moon, and love you and try to adopt you. Here is Darcy with her super-cute blue knitted handbag, and look! Michele is knitting! She learned how to knit last week and this week she is just grooving along like a knitmaniac!


Don't Mind Us, Folks
There was a lady at the SNB last night who I didn't get a chance to meet, she was very busy working on ... actually, I have NO IDEA what this is but man oh man is it cool, and also spooky. She was at the other end of the table, but of course I imposed myself upon her and Ellen as they chitchatted so I could document forever on camera Whatever That Art Was That She Made and We Liked.

Ellen talking to the performance artist whose name I did not get; the creation is mastered by its master.

The best part was the looks of the faces of the quiet family in the corner, who were already a little scared by so much craftiness in their presence, but I believe The Art sent them over the edge:

Even Perfect Evenings Must End
After SNB, I was driving home on Ventura Boulevard because I hate to take the freeway. And at night it's a nice, empty drive of storefronts and Valley goodness. Very soothing. And for whatever reason I am on a huge Tupac kick right now, all I listen to is Tupac, night and day (who by the way has accomplished more since he's been dead than I have accomplished in 33 years of living).

And I'm in my car and I'm singing, with the windows down on my Jeep -- because I am alone in my own personal Valley -- and a carload full of teenage boys pull up to me and here is what they see: One slightly chubby thitysomething blonde woman, so pale she glows in the dark, who is on the way home from her knitting group and she is singing "The blacker the berry the sweeeeter the juice..." at the top of her lungs, with her hair held up by a knitting needle and no singing talent whatsoever.


Posted by laurie at May 27, 2005 2:25 PM