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May 26, 2005

LOST in North Hollywood

Last night. Shannon and Karman's new house. A little gathering of friends. LOST season finale. (I have to get the particulars out of the way real quicklike so I can ask you the important questions.)

Why? WHY? Why did they take Walt? And who are the unbathed people with the boat? And if they have a boat with a spotlight and knitted caps (by the way, they had on KNITTED CAPS in the sub tropical ocean! love it!) why are they still on the stupid island? And where did they get the gas for the speedboat? And what the hell is in the hatch? And why is Locke suddenly looking spooky? And how in the world does Kate have such amazing arms? And how come Jin is so freakin' hot? And why couldn't Shannon see that Sayid is THE HOTTEST MAN OF OUR TIME? And why is Claire always screaming, "My baby! My baby!" and you should feel bad for her, but really she's kind of annoying? And am I mistaken or were those ARMS dragging Locke down into the depths of the earth? bIG LONG SCARY GHOST ARMS!! SOMEBODY ANSWER ME, PLEASE!!

Alright, so, maybe I got just a little bit wrapped up in this TV show. To the point where I was shushing people at the party when they kept talking and talking and talking while the TV was on. But ya'll! Could they not see that Teevee was telling us a very scary, anxiety-producing, edge-of-your-seat story? And that I was practically chewing my own arm in anticipation of WHAT. WILL. HAPPEN. NEXT!!! And having to fan myself and grab onto Amy's arm? I was so stressed out. No lie. That is what Teevee can do to me.

I took a few pictures. But mostly I was sucked into the TV, so this is all you get from the par-tay:

1) Alex (left) and Jennifer pose around Shannon and Karman's beautifully laid out snack table. Isn't their condo the prettiest? And how grown-up are they to own property! I love their place, it's so chic and adult and clean. Shannon's a very, very tidy person. I wish she lived at my house. Alas.

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2) Jack The Cat. I followed Jack around with the camera for a full half an hour before the show started because look! He's so damn cute! I wanted to steal him and put him in my pocket and take him home. But of course, I already have four cats, and Shan would give me a beat down for stealing a kitty, and also Jack weighs about eighty pounds and is still growing, so it's kind of hard to sneak him out of her house.
   
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Then, when I got back to my house, I decided to de-compress and cogitate over LOST and wonder if Hurly really *is* bringing bad luck to the island, and so on, and as I relaxed with a glass of wine and a little late-night smoke, I saw it.

Nature.

Again.

This time, the Giant Slug of Doom had returned in snail form. In fact, at night my whole patio is covered in snails and stuff and nature of all kinds. And the problem with snails is that they have no natural enemies, except maybe the French, and no one is just breaking down my door trying to get to les escargots in the back yard. So in time the whole backyard might just be one lump of snails.

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I don't mind the small, slug- and snail-type nature, it's better than spiders and biting stuff. But how does nature decide who gets the shell and who doesn't? It's quite a mystery to me (oh, and if you know the answer -- don't tell me. I prefer to think it's just magic. Snail magic.) Mostly I am perplexed how someone way back when sat on their own patio, probably with a fair amount of wine under their own belt, and looked at a snail creeping across the ground and thought, "Fry that sucker up with garlic and butter and call it dinner!"

I'm just saying. That would not be my first thought, no matter how much wine or mead or home-brew I'd had to drink. Of course, French folks probably think the same thing about our food. Especially Fair Food, like deep-fried twinkies. But when was the last time you saw a twinkie leaving a sticky trail of ick on your patio? Really now?

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Stitch 'n Bitch tonight. Escargots optional. The Los Angeles Farmer's Market, 3rd & Fairfax, upstairs tables above the food court, lots of nice people + one sweaty girl. See you at 7 p.m.!

Posted by laurie at May 26, 2005 11:59 AM