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April 09, 2005
If this is Saturday, we must be in Target!
Yesterday, I posted not one but two whole diatribes on my issues, and I provided what I thought was quite the public service announcement to people explaining the "dooced" phenomenon, which I myself just recently discovered because I've been way too busy being depressed and drinking and functioning as the mouthpiece of Satan to bone up on popular culture, but anyway. And you know the email response I got? Amazing. Volume. You know what it said?
"Tell me more about the Target and the knitting and the pre-made kits and, oh, the Target! I love the Target! I love the knitting!"
So, ya'll, when you get dooced, don't come crying to me. All I am is your Target-enabling lackey.
Also, you know I can't sleep so I'm one of those nerdy freaks who is at Target at 8 a.m., long before the crowds and ketchup-covered children arrive. And before you laugh at me and my spinster-can't-sleep ways, just know I risked getting apprehended by the po-po and getting sent off to Target Jail for photographing the goods. You'll have to excuse the quality of the images, I was trying to be all covert and cool. Even so, I'm fairly certain the security guard thought I was an operative for Al-Quaida who was photographing the knitting kits for a possible terrorism attack.
Click on everything here to see it bigger!
This is the Target where I found the kits, it's on 5711 Sepulveda Blvd. in Sherman Oaks, just a few blocks north of Burbank. It's the two-story one with the decent parking structure, click here for a map.
As you walk into the store, keep going straight and you'll see an end display on your left, sandwiched between Home Office stuff and Gifts, that is loaded with knitting kits. (Also, check out the Isaac Mizrahi stuff on the aisle next door ... sooo cute!)
Baby beanie and dickie kit(ACK), super cute bikini set, except, I don't know, there's not enough yarn in that swimsuit kit to hold in all my parts, know what I mean?
Cat and dog toys (Ashley has a better pic of these and a whole opinion on the dog toy on her blog); Striped summer tote
Wine bottle cozy, knitted belt kit, furry boa.
Pet bed, so cute and fuzzy! Also, are ya'll noticing I tried to get the price in these pics? Also, are you noticing the horrible flash spots on these pics? Because it would be great if you wouldn't mention that part. Moving on.
A little knitted purse in two color options, and a "techno" tote.
A summer shawl kit. Eh. Verdict's out on this one.
Summer halter... I think this had some beading, too.
And finally, the yoga mat holder. Because if knitting is the new yoga, then the old yoga needs something knitted to stay relevant. This looked so cute I almost bought it but then I remembered I haven't done yoga in about three years, ever since I gave up exercising for Lent that one time.
And this ends our mad photo shoot inside the Sherman Oaks Target. Also, in other crazy cat lady news, can I just tell you I went to the Home Depot and after seven years of wandering in the desert with no manna and no Jesus, I finally out of blind luck stumbled upon the very thing I needed to create my Mystery Knitted Cat Thingamajig? I did! And it only cost me $7.50! This is going to be the best, or possibly the ugliest, knitting project EVER.
Of course now I have to do this thing the fancypants French call a "swatch" (oooh la la!) and then I have to measure and ponder and do some math and if my brain does not explode from the pressure of such pursuits, I will begin knitting. Ya'll, knitting is hard. Only smart people like us can do it.
Oh, and if you ever go to Target to take pictures of knitting kits for your imaginary friends on the internet, be sure that you FIRST put away the other things you bought at the store that day, like say... you know, the toilet paper. So that when you are amusing yourself to no end with your digital camera and you are all sucked into your computer, you don't emerge hours later to find this:
Thanks, cats.
Posted by laurie at April 9, 2005 12:56 PM
Comments
I think that you are a brave woman. I must admit that I am jealous that you are near the cool Target and I am not. I used to live near that cool Target but I went and got married and had to move up to Northern California. The Targets here suck.
Posted by: Janis at April 9, 2005 02:11 PM
Personally, I want to hear way more stuff about that bitch (zilla). I've spent my time in the purgatory of related retail operations, and I fucking hate (zillas). And yours is a real prize.
If by chance your surprise is a knitting covered scratching post, hot day-um! I wanna make one too.
Posted by: jodi at April 9, 2005 02:28 PM
I recently went to Target and couldn't find the kits, but I did buy a huge thing of toilet paper, an eraser, a pencil sharpener, and Scrabble (no pencils). I had the strangest experience with the cashier. Did you pry open the kits to inspect the quality of the yarn? C'mon. Be honest.
Posted by: Lauren at April 9, 2005 02:34 PM
I'd like to vote for more (zilla) stories. The field trip to the cool Target looks like fun. I too wondered about the yarn. Is there a company name attached to the kits?
Posted by: Karen at April 9, 2005 03:23 PM
Heh, notice the creative editing that I did.... sorry about that! I'm so paranoid now! That is what reading about getting dooced will do to you. Paranoia! So. Cannot. Get. Fired. Forgive me?
I may have possibly peeked into one of the kits. The yarn was so-so in the one I checked out. Acrylic. Not Red Heart, but definitely acrylic. Then I got sucked into Mizrahi world and ended up buying the big flower duvet cover. How is it that I cannot get out of Target for under $75? See why I can't get fired? Debt! Debt!
Posted by: laurie at April 9, 2005 03:48 PM
hmm what if you come up with a 'code' name different from the other 'code' name you had for her (zillas)?name her after one of your cats or something.we love bitch stories it seems! and as someone from Canada could you maybe stalk some movie stars once in awhile too?
Posted by: cara at April 9, 2005 03:58 PM
Re: the above comment - I had a friend who lived in LA - and every time I talked to her, I would ask her if she'd seen any movie stars. i think that she thought it endearing for a while. I haven't talked to her in about 4 years now...
So, have you seen any celebrities???
Posted by: Knitlette at April 9, 2005 06:18 PM
Secret knitting, no (zilla), oh well, I'm sure you'll still find something amusing in this ridiculous world to talk about--too many targets (pun intended) out there. I'm sooo glad I caught the earlier version of yesterday's post, before the preventative botox editing.
Posted by: Anmiryam at April 9, 2005 07:24 PM
Woot! Shoutout!
Word on that swimsuit--there's what, like 100 yards of yarn in there? Enough to cover one of the girls maybe. I laughed at that when I saw it.
Math is hard--I admire your efforts in advance.
Posted by: Ashley at April 9, 2005 09:38 PM
Wow!
Thanks for the spy mission. You did great!
Just one question:
Did you notice who made the kits? Is it Target's own brand?
Posted by: ellen at April 10, 2005 11:10 PM
I absolutely loved your Target news!!
It made me laugh.
Actually what kind of pulled me in was,I,too,am a crazy 4 cat divorced lady!!
I'm in my 40's though.
Knitting has helped keep me sane,although I've only recently graduated from the dreaded garter stitch squares.I'm working on dishcloths for Christmas presents now.Love working with that type of yarn.
Have a great day!!!
Helen(grammea)
Posted by: Helen(grammea) at April 23, 2005 08:04 AM
I love your blog. I just discovered it a couple of weeks ago and this morning happened upon this old entry about Target. I love Target. I'm from Minnesota and the VERY FIRST Target ever is about a mile from my childhood home. Anyhow, those knitting kits are terrible. I bought one (the wine cozy) back in March after visiting my knitting friends in Portland and I thought I could learn to knit from it. Not so. After an evening trying to figure out how to cast on from the stupid DVD that comes in the kit, I called up my local yarn store (Unraveled in Richmond,VA) to get some lessons and now I'm an obsessive knitter. Now that I know about good yarn I can say with authority that the yarn in the kits is ugly and scratchy and there's not enough of it. The wine cozy pattern itself is also not great.
Posted by: courtney at May 31, 2005 08:38 AM
