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April 9, 2005

If this is Saturday, we must be in Target!

Yesterday, I posted not one but two whole diatribes on my issues, and I provided what I thought was quite the public service announcement to people explaining the "dooced" phenomenon, which I myself just recently discovered because I've been way too busy being depressed and drinking and functioning as the mouthpiece of Satan to bone up on popular culture, but anyway. And you know the email response I got? Amazing. Volume. You know what it said?

"Tell me more about the Target and the knitting and the pre-made kits and, oh, the Target! I love the Target! I love the knitting!"

So, ya'll, when you get dooced, don't come crying to me. All I am is your Target-enabling lackey.

Also, you know I can't sleep so I'm one of those nerdy freaks who is at Target at 8 a.m., long before the crowds and ketchup-covered children arrive. And before you laugh at me and my spinster-can't-sleep ways, just know I risked getting apprehended by the po-po and getting sent off to Target Jail for photographing the goods. You'll have to excuse the quality of the images, I was trying to be all covert and cool. Even so, I'm fairly certain the security guard thought I was an operative for Al-Quaida who was photographing the knitting kits for a possible terrorism attack.

Click on everything here to see it bigger!

This is the Target where I found the kits, it's on 5711 Sepulveda Blvd. in Sherman Oaks, just a few blocks north of Burbank. It's the two-story one with the decent parking structure, click here for a map.

As you walk into the store, keep going straight and you'll see an end display on your left, sandwiched between Home Office stuff and Gifts, that is loaded with knitting kits. (Also, check out the Isaac Mizrahi stuff on the aisle next door ... sooo cute!)

Baby beanie and dickie kit(ACK), super cute bikini set, except, I don't know, there's not enough yarn in that swimsuit kit to hold in all my parts, know what I mean?

Cat and dog toys (Ashley has a better pic of these and a whole opinion on the dog toy on her blog); Striped summer tote

Wine bottle cozy, knitted belt kit, furry boa.

Pet bed, so cute and fuzzy! Also, are ya'll noticing I tried to get the price in these pics? Also, are you noticing the horrible flash spots on these pics? Because it would be great if you wouldn't mention that part. Moving on.

A little knitted purse in two color options, and a "techno" tote.

A summer shawl kit. Eh. Verdict's out on this one.

Summer halter... I think this had some beading, too.

And finally, the yoga mat holder. Because if knitting is the new yoga, then the old yoga needs something knitted to stay relevant. This looked so cute I almost bought it but then I remembered I haven't done yoga in about three years, ever since I gave up exercising for Lent that one time.

And this ends our mad photo shoot inside the Sherman Oaks Target. Also, in other crazy cat lady news, can I just tell you I went to the Home Depot and after seven years of wandering in the desert with no manna and no Jesus, I finally out of blind luck stumbled upon the very thing I needed to create my Mystery Knitted Cat Thingamajig? I did! And it only cost me $7.50! This is going to be the best, or possibly the ugliest, knitting project EVER.

Of course now I have to do this thing the fancypants French call a "swatch" (oooh la la!) and then I have to measure and ponder and do some math and if my brain does not explode from the pressure of such pursuits, I will begin knitting. Ya'll, knitting is hard. Only smart people like us can do it.

Oh, and if you ever go to Target to take pictures of knitting kits for your imaginary friends on the internet, be sure that you FIRST put away the other things you bought at the store that day, like say... you know, the toilet paper. So that when you are amusing yourself to no end with your digital camera and you are all sucked into your computer, you don't emerge hours later to find this:

Thanks, cats.

Posted by laurie at April 9, 2005 12:56 PM