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April 11, 2005
I met Annie Modesitt! Oh, and learned to cable, too!
Are ya'll the most jealous you have ever been? GOOD! Because yesterday I did the coolest thing ever, I took a class at Unwind with knitting goddess Annie Modesitt, who traveled all the way from New Jersey just to show me how to cable without a cable needle! Oh, and she showed some other people too. But mostly for me! Shut up, she totally did!
For weeks I have talked about my "Cabling Without A Cable Neeedle" class to all my friends, whose eyes glazed over with a look of painful boredom, but did I stop talking? Ha! No way Jose. I tried to explain to my non-knitting friends that she's like... a knitting legend. It's as if you were taking guitar lessons from Jimmy Hendrix. Only with less LSD and pot on hand.
And Annie is so funny (notice how I am now on a first name basis with her?) and she's smart and energetic and patient (and I can wear a person out, with all the talking and the talking ... but she has an eight-year old daughter, so she was very patient with me. Yes I am a grown adult. Moving along.)
Annie Modesitt helping class member Bernadette:
And the other people in the class were so nice. Everyone just chatted and cabled and helped each other out. Except.. oh, ok ... there might have been this one woman who was not so much into it. When I arrived I took the only remaining seat at the table (at the left hand of Annie, the weight and portent of which were not lost upon me, ya'll I was seated at the left hand of Annie Modesitt) and anyway, another woman beside me at the table (seated to MY left) ... well, she just up and left five minutes into the class. Apparently being seated at the left hand of crazy old Aunt Purl is not quite the same religious experience. I'm not one to be paranoid (ha!) but do you think when she found out I was Southern she immediately had to flee? Was it something I said? Did she recognize me and my evil Internet ways? Or was it when I tried to convince the class that Texas was an alright place because of sweet tea? Was she on one of those carb diets and the mere mention of sweet tea sent her on a bender? It was so weird. She just... left. No goodbye, nothing. Just... poof.
All the nice ladies in class (click for bigger images):
After the mystery disappearing act, class became very entertaining. Especially when we all tried to read from a chart. And do yarn overs. Somehow I got tricked into using teeny size 8 needles (newsflash: I am such a beginner) but I was so nervous to do a good job for Annie, goddess of knitting, that I did not even complain, and ya'll know how I am.
And look, I made a faux cable here:
[click for bigger pic]
After another row of garter stitch to separate the swatch, and I made cables! Real cables... without a cable needle. Which I suppose I should have gathered from the title of the class, but sometimes you get a wee bit skeptical of your knitting ability.
My amazin' cables:
[click for bigger pic]
During the class, Annie was endlessly funny. She alternated between calling her stitches "hot tramps" and "pretty girls who did not get asked to dance" and occassionally referred to her left needle as Hot Dude Brad Pitt, all the while working in some knitting philosophy. She had a keen observation about knitting mistakes -- she says that messing up is actually really, really good so you can learn from your errors. I was a superb student, too, since messing up is my specialty (see: whole life, esp. four cats, divorce, one potty mouth.)
And let's face it, a sense of humor is critical in knitting, especially my knitting ("Oh, looky here, I'm knitting this whole thing inside out. Isn't that funny!") Sometimes knitting books and classes can be a bit ... dull. Know what I mean? There's a lot of very technical stuff in knitting, and I can definitely appreciate that, but to me the whole joy of making fabric from string and chopsticks is the sheer surprise of seeing it all come together, a handmade wonder, knots and all.
With her sense of humor, she was speaking a language I could get, it all made sense to me. Because if you listen to me knit (oh yeah! I knit out loud, it's so so charming, for the first five seconds. Then you want to kill me.) Anyway, after listening to me struggle with a pattern, you will eventually begin to think that "Fuck!" is a type of knit stitch. As in, "Ok, here I knit one, purl two, yarn over, FUCK! knit two more ..." Not that Annie Modesitt said the F-word, she's way too goddess-y for that. Even though I may have accidentally done my knit-out-loud thing once or twice in class, no one so much as shot me a mean glance. And she was such an amazing knitter, lightening fast, and witty, and kind, and even though she probably thought I was a total stalker ("Hi! I watched you on TV! Hi! I love your website!") she never even tried to call the cops once. I have to go now, because I have to write her an email. How does this sound? It's my third draft.
Dear Annie, Class was so fun. I'm not stalking you, promise! OK yes maybe I have now decided to move to New Jersey, but I swear it's not 'cause you live there. It's not! I'm only moving there for the... uh.... the cake. That's right! The cake is really good there. So anyway, want to hang out sometime? Like next week? When I move to your town?Signed,
Your Best Friend Laurie
Posted by laurie at April 11, 2005 07:52 AM
Comments
You mean you stalk people besides me? I am hurt. I might have to talk about you now.
Did you bring a glass of sweet tea to the class with you? Sweet Tea is good for rinsing out potty mouth. That is one of the many reasons why I must drink so much sweet tea.
Posted by: Crystal at April 11, 2005 08:06 AM
You are far advanced as a knitter. due to your example I tried knitting and drinking and I am a miserable failure. I can NOT knit and drink. I got yarn in the glass and it smells boozy now, i lost my pattern (I was sitting on it!), became distracted and laughed hysterically then gave up and used the knitting needle as a swizzle stick/stirer. How do you do it? I need practise, I guess.
Also, on the gas front: I just paid $41.00 to fill up my Grand Cherokee at $2.48/gal. Out-rage-e-ous! I am now going to have a glass of wine and try that knitting thing again.
Posted by: Knittykim at April 11, 2005 09:32 AM
See - I knew it wouldn't take long until you went far beyond we plain folk. "Annie" indeed! Cabling without a needle - what's the world coming to?:::shaking head in resignation::::
Although if you starting hanging with Ms. Chin, I might have to rethink my whole "Laurie is pretty cool" philosophy. ;)
Posted by: Bron at April 11, 2005 09:51 AM
lolol, you're hilarious :)
Posted by: Katherine at April 11, 2005 10:40 AM
What's next? I think if you move to NJ you'll be making socks on size 1s (yes, size 1s!) faster than you can say "all y'all" to the natives (who won't understand you, but there are transplanted Texans here on the east coast, so you'll have people to laugh with about the ignorance of the locals).
Posted by: Anmiryam at April 11, 2005 10:40 AM
Dude, 'fuck' should TOTALLY be the name for any stitch you did not mean to do. I love it!
Posted by: melanie at April 11, 2005 10:41 AM
So jealous. Must...restrain...jealousy. Tell us more of this faux cable?
Other things that make Tejas a-ok are breakfast tacos, brisket, and breakfast tacos containing brisket. But of course, all of these things are better when washed down with sweet tea.
Posted by: Ashley at April 11, 2005 11:48 AM
I can't believe that lady got up and left...
I mean, really, what is that about? I would start wondering if my feet stunk or something.
Posted by: Lisa at April 11, 2005 12:43 PM
I now HAVE to go watch some John Wayne movie where he gets into a fight for no good reason [yeah, that one] because I feel my manhood leaving me whenever I read about knitting - but I am so so addicted to reading this blog. I can't go through a day without reading it. She may be Crazy but she is my favorite Aunt Purl.
Posted by: Brad at April 11, 2005 12:51 PM
Two words: Restraining Order.
Seriously, I loved having you in the class, you were a hoot and are very, VERY good! No one could believe that you hadn't been knitting for years!
I blogged about your blog entry. Can we get some emergency photoshopping done on that pic of me? Oy. I don't really look like that, do I? I'll have to start charging an extra teaching fee for my extra chin. I could name it.
Posted by: Annie at April 11, 2005 04:26 PM
you are SO funny and look you got a comment from Annie!!!!!!!!!!! Jane
Posted by: jane at April 11, 2005 07:18 PM
Yep - pretty much as jealous as this dude can get! Maybe someday she'll head to Houston to teach. *crossing fingers & holding breath*
Posted by: ~drew emborsky~ at April 11, 2005 07:21 PM
Okay. . . you are an awesome knitter (even more so if you truly are liquored [wined?] up when you do it). I am so blog stalking you now. If I ever get a blog together I wouldn't mind if you stalked me back. Also, it's so totally cool that Annie commented. I'm sure you know by now that you're Bonnie-Marie's link this week. Check you out--it's star time.
Posted by: kathryn at April 12, 2005 11:11 AM
Oh - I am so jealous! I wish I had been there. She only lives about an hour from me and I never met her!! It's not fair. ;(
Posted by: jackie at April 12, 2005 02:04 PM
Dear Laurie-
I find you very funny. Want to come back South and entertain me? The wisterias are in bloom and everything smells good.
Love, The Mooch
PS: bring your Target with you. Oh, and I found you via Shelby Knits.
Posted by: Lyndsey at April 12, 2005 03:36 PM
Wow, Annie's a goddess! And I've found a great new blog to read :-)
I've been so entranced reading your blog that I've stuffed up what I am knitting three times in less than a row....
Fuel here is $1.15 a litre for unleaded (about 91 octane if that helps any). That'd be about $4 a gallon in your money.
Posted by: Lynne S of Oz at April 13, 2005 04:22 AM
Oh, I can think of lots of reasons for her getting up and leaving that do not involve feet or Southern identity. For example, her bra strap might have suddenly broken or her period begun or some other slightly embarrassing little girlie emergency which would have taken her out of the room for so long that she then would hesistate to return for fear of people asking her "Where've you been?" Or she could have had a call on her cell phone (on vibrate so you all didn't know) and it turned out to be a horrid emergency. Or she realized, 5 minutes into the class, that she was in the wrong class -- not the one she had paid for. Or maybe she was deeply offended when a favorite stitch was referred to as a hot tramp. Anyway, when she reads about herself here she will doubtless contact you with an explanation. Lovely knitting, too!
Posted by: Rebecca at April 13, 2005 05:57 AM
Hey, I wanted to go to that Annie Modesitt class too! Only I decided that spending more money on knitting would just confirm the descent I have made into knitting obsession (obssesion??). I found you through Knitter's Review. Your blog is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I was going to make a post yesterday entitled "The most boring blog in the world" and rant and rant about my own blog. We'll see... maybe I'll do it today.
Posted by: marichan at April 13, 2005 06:50 AM
Oh my you are HILARIOUS!!! Jillz told me to check you out and you are definitely on my must read list!!
Posted by: Cheryl at April 13, 2005 07:37 AM
I did a lot of knitting on codeine last week, and I ended up with a sock that is "roomy" on my boyfriend's foot. I was trying to knit a sock that would fit my little size 6 wide (okay,I have hobbit feet) feet. But codeine, oh, how I love you. It's better than booze. I really better get the remains out of the house soon - I was thinking of taking it for menstrual cramps.
Posted by: Gail at April 13, 2005 02:25 PM
You are who I want to be when I grow up. I haven't totally cut loose on my blog yet. But you are my muse you inspire me, But I am not moving to Jersey even though I do drink sweet tea.
Posted by: cindy at April 21, 2005 09:43 PM
