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April 04, 2005
Clapotis? Do you need penicillin for that?
If you spend five minutes in the internet underworld of knitting blogs, you will discover that all the cool kids have knitted/are knitting/plan to knit something called clapotis.
Isn't that some kind of social disease? Or wait -- are they doing some kind of charity knitting for women with clapotis? And isn't clapotis curable with some good antibiotics? Because I thought it was? But if it's not, is there some sign-up board somewhere where people with a nasty case of clapotis go to ask for some knitted goods? Because that's just weird.
Then I cracked myself up with an imaginary conversation in an imaginary elevator with an imaginary knitting friend.
Me: Hi, Jane, nice to see you.
Jane: Hi.
Me: Oh! So, how's your clapotis?
(commence laughter)
And then, in a bright-bulb moment, I thought, uh, maybe I should Google "clapotis" and see what it is, and, like, how to cure and/or knit it.
So this is a clapotis. It's basically a fancy French shawl. But .... COME ON. Who would name some knitting thing after a social disease? Or even similar to it? That would be like naming your daughter Syphilina or naming your son Herpeen. Please. Clapotis. Eeeeew.
And... next time you see me, make sure to ask me how my clapotis is!
Posted by laurie at April 4, 2005 08:57 AM
Comments
Maybe you could tell (zilla) that you have the Clap and that you won't be able to finish the stuff for her wedding. She clearly deserves to be royally screwed. You would get a good laugh and a nice scarf.
Posted by: Anmiryam at April 4, 2005 10:05 AM
Ha, Ha. You Said Clapotis. I am glad that I am not the only one who makes up imaginary scenarios and conversations.
Posted by: Crystal at April 4, 2005 12:17 PM
eww. the clap. i actually found something online that defined the word and it has something to do with waves of water or somethin crazy like that. yea, that patons divine i have is knitting up awesome so far! is floofy and cute, and is going super fast.
Posted by: erika at April 4, 2005 12:30 PM
I can't wait to see your finished Patons Divine scarf! Hey, did you ever buy the spring Rowan? Any good stuff in there? I still can't believe the name clapotis. (repressed laugh) (because I am so mature).
Posted by: laurie at April 4, 2005 12:38 PM
LOL! How's the clap, Laurie? Are ya cured?? I'm with you on the name - how about just "shawl". Or really big scarf? Clap on, clap off, the clapper! I can go on forever. Thanks for looking at my blog and I really wish I had a pic of the dog last night - it was too funny.
Posted by: chris at April 4, 2005 12:38 PM
I find your postings hilarious. Been there, done that with a Mr. X. The "D" diet was the best part of the whole marriage (ok...I'll count the kids as the best part). And it sounds like knitting the "clap" will be a safe project. Safe is good.
Posted by: Sherrill at April 4, 2005 01:06 PM
Hilarious. I think that half the reason--maybe more than half--that I refuse to make this shawl is its wretched, wretched name. Why would you do that? Seriously? There are so many nicer French words.
Posted by: Ashley at April 4, 2005 02:49 PM
Hi! I just found your blog surfin' around tonight and I LOVE it! You are so funny and your projects are great. Oh, yeah, and divorce sucks the big one...but there is always that light at the end of the tunnel (NO! It's not a train!).
ps - if you visit my blog - you must commnet. I promise not to think you're a stalker! ;o)
Posted by: Jackie at April 4, 2005 04:54 PM
i'm seconding the suggestion to tell (zilla) you've got the clap. what a brilliant idea. by the way - you'd probably already know that i have advanced stages of the clap. in fact i am even contemplating a second dose of the disease
Posted by: jacqueline at April 5, 2005 01:48 AM
Catching this clap is so much more enjoyable than the other EWWWWW! kind!
Rather fun to knit but more fun to wear since you can make people jealous with your gorgous shawl/scarf that they can't have becuase you made it and it is yours forever!
Posted by: Rebecca at April 5, 2005 12:48 PM
I thought I was the only one that thought that name was funny!
Posted by: Anastacia at April 5, 2005 05:10 PM
I hesitated at starting to knit "the clap" because a) it's french and I'm apparently a bigot (but only about french stuff), b) I hate the name and c) well really. It's butt-ugly (IMNSHO)
I saw some that were sort of nice but I was wondering what I was missing, until a blogfriend had the courage to mention that it looked like a really nice shawl had a really bad accident.
I'm betting she's just the sort of bitch that got into trouble with the emperor and his new clothes, too.
I hate the fact that I couldn't decide not to knit it until someone else validated my opinion. As well as being a bigot, I'm apparently a sheep.
And soon to be ostracized by the rest of the knitting community but oh well, if it wasn't the clap that did it, it would be my pottymouth.
Posted by: Rabbitch at April 26, 2005 12:40 AM
I thought it was a dessert (Clafoutis)....I'm working on one now; and it is far from sweet and tasty.
Posted by: Winegirl at May 11, 2005 01:39 PM
Wow, only 13 comments just a few months ago... you were so innocent and undiscovered...
Sigh... ;)
Posted by: ~drew emborsky~ at July 15, 2005 07:34 AM
